Tag: faith

Finding Success Through Trials

Finding Success Through Trials

Mindset Matters

 

So you’re an amputee now. You’ve gotten through your surgery, and you’re home. Now what?

The road is long, my friend, but doable.

You can and will survive, dare I say, you can even thrive as an amputee.

How you see your circumstance and adapt to your new way of living is up to you and based on your own mindset.

After I elected to amputate my leg, above knee, after 5 years of surgeries and a blood clot, I had no idea what I was in for, but what I did know was that I was strong, stubborn, and going to hold myself accountable to my own success (seeing as I chose this path). This is my journey and I was going to own it- the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all.

Mindset matters!

If you tell yourself you will succeed, chances are, you will.

If you tell yourself you can accomplish your goals, chances are, you will.

This is no different. Positive self-talk, self-love, and positive mindset will all come to your rescue on those hard days.

Yes, there will be hard days, weeks, and even months as you adjust to your new way of getting around. It’s ok to have those emotionally bad days, just don’t allow yourself to linger there. As you heal, then start the fitting process of your prosthesis, you’re going to realize that the tough days are just beginning, but I know you can handle it. Why? Because you are a warrior and capable of great things!

I would tell you that I am successful at being an amputee, and living my best life. How do I gauge that? By the goals I have set for myself, achieved, and by the fact that I don’t see myself as handicapped or incapable, anymore.

 

 

This mindset takes time, and is refined through trials. It doesn’t happen overnight so don’t get frustrated if you don’t feel this way…yet.

Stick with positivity. Keep pushing yourself toward your goals. Never give up and one day you’ll realize that you have gotten to a place where you have found joy, happiness and peace with where you are at, and living a great life. Being an amputee isn’t the end of the world, nor the end of a healthy, happy life. On the contrary, you will find your new journey very rewarding once you grasp what makes it tick.

Find Your Rainbow

 

Nothing worth achieving happens quickly, remember that. We must fight the battles, learn to pick ourselves up, and to try, try again. These moments that try to take us down are the precise moments we need to experience so we can become stronger and learn how to manage them in the future.

 

I’d say that 75% of my Call to Actions revolve around goal setting, and this one is no different.

You must find it in your to dream and write down the things you hope to accomplish as an amputee.

Don’t limit yourself, just write!

List as many things as you can that you’d love to accomplish.

At first they may be as simple as wearing your prosthesis a little longer each day, or not taking it off when you get fatigued. Then you’ll start dreaming of taking walks again with your dog or family.

Mine got as big as learning to surf for the first time ever. HEY, why not??? right?!?!

Write them all down, now figure out what is attainable at the stage you are at and set that as priority number 1. Create steps to that goal, how will you achieve it. and then get after it!

Don’t wait until Monday, or after this holiday nor that holiday, START TODAY!! Today is as good a day as any. and the sooner you start the sooner you’ll achieve your goals.

 

You are a warrior and capable of more than you may believe. You are resilient and an overcomer!

Best wishes on your goal setting!

And until next week, as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Fear Part 3 of 3

Overcoming Fear Part 3 of 3

Fear of Letting Go

 

As we come to the end of this three part series on overcoming fear I feel that today’s podcast of Letting Go to be a big one, especially for amputees. Not that we all don’t struggle with letting go of: the past, what we can’t control, and toxic relationships, but because as an amputee myself I have seen and heard of so many amputees struggling with these three aspects of letting go.

 

 

For most of us, not living in the past is hard. We all tend to have some part of our heart in the past. Sometimes we fear that letting go of the past will also mean we will forget something that was beautiful about it. Memories stay but that doesn’t mean that “living” there is a good thing, especially when we deeply miss some major part of it or, worse yet, can’t forgive a transgression against us that happened in the past. I know several amputees who became an amputee due to a past wrong done to them: a drunk driver, a negligent driver that they were a passenger with, and those pasts NEED to be left there. I know I can’t speak to this struggle as it is not my story nor my journey, however, I have talked with and watched the lives of people I have met that are dealing with this and one common thread amongst them is lack of joy and lack of healing.  These are the people I have seen struggling with being an amputee, finding purpose, finding joy, and those who struggle to feel peace in their new place, struggling to feel good in their prosthetic and the fit, even not healing correctly or in a timely matter. Our minds are strong and can determine how we see ourselves and our lives, dictating how we feel and function. When we get stuck in a place of anger and blaming our circumstances on a past transgression, we aren’t punishing the offender we are punishing ourselves!

Doesn’t knowing this make you want to work at forgiveness, for the sake of our own lives? You aren’t saying that what this person did to you and your life is OK, you are just letting yourself let go of the one thing that could be holding you back from recovery and living a healthy, happy life….Aren’t you worth that? (I think you are!)

 

Another aspect is letting go of things out of your control.

So you’re an amputee now. Now what?

Your limb is gone, and never growing back. Time to move forward. Learning to embrace where you are at in your journey is half the battle. You can’t change what happened, but you can control HOW you handle it. If you sit and worry about healing, the prosthesis, the fear of being or not being able to walk again, etc, you are just going to stress yourself out and you are worry about something that isn’t important right this minute. Stop, breathe, live for RIGHT now. Can you find something to be happy about, right now? I bet you can. Maybe it’s that you survived, you healed well, you aren’t on pain meds anymore. Maybe it’s that you have a family that is there for you, a friend group who is surrounding you with love, support, and prayers. Maybe it’s a pet that is glad you are home (they don’t care if you have one less leg or not!) Perspective! Do you have it? You can’t control something that has already happened to you, you can’t control how long it will take you to heal, or if your prosthetist is going to be “the one”. You can control your emotions, your outlook, your decisions. Start there, and let the Higher Powers that Be do their thing. If you spend your time worried and wondering how long before staples come out, how insurance might deny you, how long before I get a prosthesis that fits right you will be exhausted from all that worrying. That’s not productive nor is it beneficial to your health (mental or physical). Learn to let go of the things you can’t control and start dealing with the items within your control. You’ll be surprised how happy you will be.

 

 

Finally, letting go of relationships. Now, as an amputee, and one who has been listening to new amputees talk about the beginning stages of getting fitted for their first prosthetics I am highly speaking of this perspective….however, some of you listening may be in a toxic relationship, one that has been negative toward you, not supportive, or downright mean, take this as you see fit.

You do not owe anyone the benefit of sticking around when it is not in your best interest!

As I speak of this I am directing this mostly toward new amputees who think that their prosthetist is their prosthetist, no matter what. Some of you how found yourself in a hospital bed, only to wake up from an accident, missing a limb, have been given a prosthetist by the hospital and you know nothing about them. Some of you live in a small town where there is only one company and you lack options. I am here to tell you that you do NOT have to sacrifice good, personal care because of those circumstances. You CAN shop around. You can change who is handling your fitting to someone more connected with you, more caring, and understanding of YOUR situation. Even though they handle amputees day in and day out, doesn’t mean they know YOU. You are unique, even as an amputee. What works for one Above Knee Amputee, doesn’t work for another. We are all different, from our age, how we became an amputee, our health and activity level, etc. These all determine how we handle a prosthetic, to how it fits, and what kind we need.

Unfortunately, we consider our prosthetist, like doctors, as the professional and take their word on all matters about our fitting. The problem is, we are the professionals of our own body and we know what feels good and what doesn’t. It’s ok to speak up. It’s ok to communicate and ask for changes. And it is definitely ok to change who you are using when you feel that you are not getting the care that you need.  Most of us don’t want to “rock the boat” and don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, and you don’t have to. You just need to know when you’ve given your prosthetist several opportunities to make things right by you and when to cut ties and move on. You CAN interview other prosthetists to get the “best fit” for your situation and personality, after all, you will have them in your corner for the rest of your life. You deserve the best!

 

 

This week there are several things you can be doing to overcome the fear of letting go:

The Past:

Try to stay focused on the present. Letting go of past hurts and mistakes can be hard and some days will be harder than others. Just keep telling yourself that you forgive_________, and repeat it over and over again. Find ways to stay in the present and start finding goals to occupy your time. Letting go of past hurts and mistakes, or even heartbreak of losing a limb, just keep living in the now and finding the joy in the day to day events. Over time you will feel the weight of the past giving way to joys of future journeys.

The Uncontrollable:

It’s inevitable that we worry about things out of our control, so don’t fret when you succumb to that way of thinking. Recognize that you are worrying about something you can not control and refocus on what is in your control.  This takes mindfulness. You must be present and in the moment to see what you are doing and how it is not helpful. Redirect your thinking to what you CAN do in that particular situation and focus on that. Practice, practice, practice. This one is hard to let go of, but your heart and body will thank you when you do!

Relationships:

This goes out to those new amputees who feel like they aren’t in the right m medical office. Don’;t be afraid to communicate exactly what’s going on with your limb. If you still feel like you aren’t getting the care that you need, and the changes being made so you are comfortable then maybe it’s time to shop for a new provider. Don’t be afraid to do what’s right by you. It’s your life, after all! And you deserve the very best care. Be patient, be kind, but when push comes to shove, if you don’t feel like you are being heard, or time isn’t being spent on you to make necessary adjustments so you are out of pain, then it’s time to say good-bye to the old and find someone new. You deserve to be happy and feel the best you can in your prosthesis.

 

I hope this series on fear helped you in some way or another. If you feel like you know someone that this could speak to, please like and share.

I appreciate each of you and hope you are living your best life.

Until next we and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

Overcoming Fear Part 2

Overcoming Fear Part 2

Fear of Failure

 

A big fear of mine has always been failing, especially in front of a lot of people. How about you?

After becoming an amputee this became the daily fear that would well up inside of me. Every day I put on my leg I had to deal with idea that, as I was learning to walk in it, I just my wipe out.  Then after I got good at walking, I added in the fear of falling with a running blade on, which would make for a more epic fall.

It feels like the normal, everyday, things were now causing my anxiety.

I realized right away that I would have 2 choices:

Stay home, pout, and not get out and work on my new life

or

Get out, try everything, fail, pick myself back up and try again.

On the edge of the Grand Canyon!

 

Me and my bees

 

My new Swell Surf foot, ready for the waves of Kauai

 

My 1st time wadding in a rushing stream, keeping balance, and trying fly fishing! A whole lotta new!

 

As you probably guessed, I opted for the second choice! Get out and LIVE!

This took time, patience, humility, and drive.

It wasn’t easy going into a grocery store with a new leg, knowing people were watching, almost waiting for me to stumble. At least that’s how it felt at first. But I had a family to feed and a husband at work all day. I was not going to be a burden and I was going to learn this new lifestyle, no matter what it took.

As a teacher, I told my students all the time that it’s ok to fail. That’s the only way to learn. It was time for me to take my own advice.

It’s a long road, a hard journey, when learning to walk again. It’s difficult to take an old. easy, everyday task, and start over.

Have grace and forgiveness with yourself. Be patient, like you’d be with your own kids learning something new.

What advice would you give your baby who was just learning to walk? Would you be mad at them for trying their first steps and falling over? Of course not, so why would you be mad, upset, impatient with yourself?

Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves, yet so forgiving with others that we seeing trying and failing?

Remember, it is more rewarding to try, try, try again and get something, than to just be able to do something simple that you get on your first try.

When you are forced to subject yourself to uncertainty, and yet certain failures at first, you are building your experience, you are building your character, and you are building a warrior mentality.  These are the characteristics that will help you succeed at your next task.

Don’t be afraid to get out there and try something new. You never know what will come of your efforts. What I have learned is that with every trial, I became stronger, met new people, inspired others, and found a deep joy for my new life that I wouldn’t change for the world!

 

Deep inside of you lies a warrior waiting to be unleashed! You’ve got this. Face your fears head on and watch how you will transform your life!!!

You are a warrior!!

 

 

This week begin to change your mindset. Speak positively to yourself and then think of 1 thing you have been wanting to do but have been too afraid to try it.

Now make a plan on how to get from point A to point B. Remember to break it down into baby steps. You cvan do this. I believe in you!

Work at it every day, even for 5-10 minutes. Realize that learning to do something new takes failure. Embrace the failures. Even laugh at yourself from time to time. We all fail at first.

Pick yourself back up and start again!

Don’t give up!

You’ve got this!!

 

Until next time,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Overcoming Fear: Part 1

Overcoming Fear: Part 1

Fear of the Unknown

 

We all face challenges in life and more than that we all struggle with how uncomfortable it is to not know what’s going to happen.

 

We get fixated on the “what ifs” and begin a dangerous road of fearing the future, the outcomes, the unknown.

This isn’t living, and this isn’t healthy.

As I navigated 4 months from deciding to amputate my leg above the knee until the surgery date I ran the gamut of emotions, questioning my decision, wondering if it was the right choice, pondering and fretting over the “what ifs”.

Let me tell you, there are a LOT of “what ifs” when you have 4 months to think about it. What happened to me within that 4 month time frame was nothing short of a miracle and one that I will forever be in awe over.

Something changed within myself, in my deepest part of my subconscious that day in November 2018, just a month out from my surgery. I was transformed from worrying about a future I couldn’t even fathom to a place of peace.

At that moment I began living for each moment and knew that I was going to be alright, no, more than alright, I was going to overcome and be a fighter.

This is an opportunity for each of you as you navigate your journey called life. You don’t have to be ruled by fear of the unknown, but embrace the moments that you are living in.

A quick reminder to let go and live for the moment. Let go of what you cannot control.

 

Finding peace in the moment, being totally present and letting go of what you cannot control.

You deserve that happiness.

You deserve to live a full and healthy life.

Smile more!

 

 

 

 

Today, I want you to let go of what you cannot control, take several deep breathes, and allow the warrior within you out.

Fight the battles of today.

Let go of what is uncertain- your tomorrow.

 

You are a warrior,

You are wonderfully made,

You are special!!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

The Elephant in the Room

The Elephant in the Room

The Reality of Phantom Pain

 

 

It’s real!

It does exist, and it can come out of nowhere and attack you when you least expect it. Phantom pain is an equal opportunity offender with no regard for who it targets.

Phantom sensation is similar but constant. It’s not about the excruciating pain it inflicts, like phantom PAIN, as much as it’s the never ending, always present tingling, buzzing, and throbbing of the missing body part, (in my case, my lower left leg and foot).

No matter what’s going on, how active I am or am not, or even the weather, phantom sensations are always burning in my foot. At first I didn’t think I was going to be able to take it but I can tell you two certainities:

  1. After suffering phantom PAIN, I will gladly take the sensations!
  2. I find that these sensations are a gift in that they help me to find my footing as I walk because my foot feels like it’s there at all times.

 

Just a reminder, all journeys are NOT the same. my pain tolerance might be higher than yours or your phantom pain might last longer and be more intense than mine, we are all different and how we handle them is also going to be different.

Some people choose to medicate to help with the pain, others use mirror therapy or a neurotransmitter.

Others may choose to use tap therapy, or heat/cold therapy to lessen the intensity.

 

I have a neurotransmitter implanted in my back, but it created more pain than it stopped so I have turned mine off, for now.

I also have chosen to stay far away from medication so I know the true feelings of my pain and learn to deal with them naturally as they come. I spent too many years on drugs to help with all the surgeries and couldn’t wait to get off of them, permanently!

 

Like I said, everyone is different. what works for me may or may not work for you. Only you can decide how to attack these phantom issues. It’s always good to talk with other amputees to see how they are dealing with their pain and what works for them but remember what works for them may not work for you.

I say this so you don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work. You will need to keep searching and trying out new ways to handle your pain based on you. And sometimes something will work one time but not the next time it occurs. Talk about frustrating!!

Phantom pain is for real! It’s vicious, distracting, and debilitating! It can and will try to consume you, and break you, just remember you are strong! You are a warrior!

 

 

This is a tough one.

You will need to get creative and dig down deep!

This is where TRUE warriors are made.

Don’t sit and dwell on the pain, it will consume you and make it harder to bounce back from it.

Find somethings that work for you (I use distraction when I am in a bad pain place-walking, driving in my car, playing music, watching a movie, reading, moving some more, getting to the gym, etc) This keeps my mind active, and distracted. Don’t sit around thinking about it, it’ll only amplify the pain, trust me, I know!

Once you find things you are capable of doing, use these techniques to help you on the rough days. You will find that you will handle the phantom pains better if you have resources ready to be utilized.

And don’t forget to communicate with your family, friends, your support system. Even best laid plans get wrecked, and if you are screaming on the inside, more than likely you’ll start screaming on the outside and the people who you love the most will be casualties to it. Let them know that you are struggling. Phantom pain is invisible to everyone outside of us, they can’t know what we are going through so we must be open and honest, for the sake of relationships.

You’ve got this and you are NOT alone.

Rise up, Precious Warrior, Rise up! Fight your battles with confidence and with the assurance that this too shall pass.

 

As always and until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace in the Waiting

Peace in the Waiting

Finding Patience Amidst Trials

 

Today, I want to share with you an important lesson I’ve been learning lately: the power of patience in the face of trials. Life has a funny way of throwing obstacles our way, testing our resilience and pushing us outside our comfort zones. But through it all, I’m discovering that cultivating patience can be a game-changer.
As an amputee, trials and challenges can be overwhelming, leaving us feeling frustrated, anxious, and stressed. But remember, every difficulty we go through is an opportunity for growth. Patience allows us to stay calm, focused, and determined, enabling us to find creative solutions and move forward with resilience. Embracing the challenges in our lives can be used as steppingstones towards personal growth, and better health.
In our fast-paced world, where we look for everything to be given to us instantly, having patience has become more of a lost art. We are constantly seeking instant gratification and quick results. However, true growth and transformation takes time and experience. Patience teaches us to appreciate the journey and find joy in the present moment. By shifting our focus from the destination to the process, we can savor the small victories along the way and celebrate our progress.
Today, I was reminded, yet again, that I need to learn patience, enjoy the moment, and be present. Sakari, my mare, was my teacher and today she gave me the gift of living in the moment. Normally, she would come right over to me to get our morning going, but today she took her time and slowly ate her hay. As she ate, I spent a few minutes wandering around, baking in the summer sun, feeling a bit impatient. But after I took stock in the moment, I saw the gift of just being there, watching her every move, and observing the world I was now a part of. This is where I find healing and reconnect with myself. I almost missed it!
Perhaps the most incredible aspect of patience is its ability to teach us valuable life lessons. It teaches us perseverance, empathy, and self-control. It encourages us to practice gratitude, mindfulness, and acceptance. By embracing patience, we become better equipped to handle future challenges and build stronger relationships with ourselves and others.
This week you need to address a problem you are facing.
Write it down and then write 3 things you CAN change about the circumstance, then write down 3 things you CANNOT change.
Now, using those lists, get to work on doing what you CAN do and letting go of what is out of your control.
Breathe, relax, and have faith.
I hope you found something that can help you through your trials and assist you in gaining patience.
Have a beautiful week,
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,
Angie
Never Ending Challenges

Never Ending Challenges

When You Least Expect It

Just when you think you are in the clear. Or when you feel like you got it all together….Wham!!!

Yep, life sends you into a new challenge.

I am 4 1/2 years out from my amputation and into my 15th socket I go. However, even though it should have been a simple change as it was just a remake of the socket I was in (the plastic was giving away but still fit) we encountered complications.

Nothing major, but my valve wasn’t working properly for a couple of weeks, which meant I couldn’t wear it, and then once that got fixed the end of my residual limb seemed to be moving too much down inside of the socket, which was creating swelling, which in turn made it worse.

It was a snowball effect. One issue, led to another issue, which led to another issue.

Simple fix. Hmmm.

Ever have that happen to you?

How did you handle it?

What I can tell you is that after 4 years of wearing a prosthetic, I have become more attuned to my body and what feels right, and what I can and cannot handle. These are minor issues, indeed, but if you don’t have the experience (which only comes with time and observations as an amputee) then you may be prone to freaking out about the fit and worried that these issues could get worse and create bigger issues.

I remember the first time my residual limb swelled. I didn’t know what was happening, why it felt weird and hard, and freaked out that I was getting an infection. After all, I had heard of amputees getting infections years after their surgery! YIKES!!

Now that I understand what is happening with my limb, I know how to combat it and when to call my prosthetist for help and adjustments.

 

 

Experience is key, but I share this with you so you understand what can happen, even years later. That you need to build up your patience and knowledge so you can handle these odd moments, because they don’t just stop after the first year.

 

Don’t give up hope.

Try not to get frustrated, and make sure you make time to stop and breathe deeply.

Smile. It helps with your emotional state in the midst of problems, and don’t let fear strike you down. I understand that each new issue is delving into the unknown, but you will survive, and you will rise up again, and again, and again.

 

Remember, you are a Warrior!

Now go out and seize the day!

You are special, unique, and there is only one YOU in this whole, wide world!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

Cast Your Worries, Reel In Patience

Cast Your Worries, Reel In Patience

A Fishing Analogy for New Amputees

 

From experience, I KNOW, without a doubt, that there are fish in our lake.

Just yesterday I caught a huge northern pike and released him….. he is in there, waiting for the next lure to tempt him.

How does this relate to amputees and our journey? Great question.

Patience, for one. And knowing how to keep moving forward, even when you feel like giving up, for another.

I must have casted 1000 times in 5 hours last weekend, and not a nibble!!!! 5 hours!!! I’m either totally dedicated to my craft or absolutely crazy! But, I love the POSSIBILTY. The possibility that I could catch a fish, maybe even the biggest fish in the lake (I may be a little competitive 😏) keeps me going.

Not my biggest catch, but I’ll take it as a win!

 

This is the same for amputees. No matter what I tell newbies, until they go through it themselves, it just doesn’t click. Some people think they’ll get through it without a hiccup and be off and running right after they get their prosthesis. What you have to remember is that 1) Everyone’s experience is unique and individualistic. 2) We all atrophy and thus makes our fitting process a challenge, and 3) You don’t know what you don’t know, and it won’t make sense until YOU go through it.

That being said, going through the early moments of becoming an amputee are like fishing. You know that you will be able to walk again, run, hike, bike, swim, etc. You’ve seen tons of other amputees make it, and the prosthesis they are making now are so amazing and helpful to our success. but you also need to remember that you can’t catch the big fish if you aren’t patient, and ready to put in the time.

 

 

Go at it with a positive attitude. Take a step back when things get hard, and you.ve forgotten what WILL be possible. You have to earn it, so to speak, and you’ll be better prepared and ready for future hiccups after going through the first year or two.  But it won’t be easy. You will be pushed to the edge a few times, whether with the way it feels, the fitting, pain, sensations, or a plethora of other things that could happen.  But don’t lose hope. I went through the changes and the exhaustion of never-ending appointments to get the right fit. I went through excruciating pains of a neuroma and the surgery to remove it, along with the setback of healing from that surgery before I could wear my leg again. I understand the heartache when you just want to be and feel “normal” and you just don’t see how that will ever happen for you. It will! I promise. Keep the faith. Don’t take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at those moments. Cry when you need to then pull up your big boy/big girl pants and trudge forward. You will get to where you want to be, but you will work for it, I promise that too.

 

 

 

What I use to tell my students all the time was that if it was easy then you wouldn’t feel as proud of yourself for accomplishing the task at hand. Same goes for us amputees. You will have to overcome some seriously huge mountains at times, but when you are at the top looking back at where you came from, you can be so proud to know that you truly ARE a warrior!!!!

 

I believe in you!

Don’t you dare give up.

Put in the time, practice patience, and know that with time, things will get easier.

 

You are amazing and will accomplish great feats. You only need to be steadfast and patient. Be realistic in knowing that it takes time, but in the end you will succeed!

 

As always, and until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

(Be PATIENT….)

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Patience is a virtue.

 

A few of my favorite things as I sit at the lake fishing

The view is so peaceful

 

Wildflowers everywhere!

 

A Season and A Reason

A Season and A Reason

Navigating Friendships Through Life’s Trials

Friends come and go in our lives. Sometimes it’s because of geographical change, and sometimes we outgrow each other. Other times we part ways because there is a fall out, or even a misunderstanding that goes unattended and left to grow. On the flip side, as our stages in life change so do the people who come into it, and a new friendship blossoms in an unlikely moment.

If you have been dealing with a difficult time in your life, you will notice one of two things might happen.

One, certain people will rally around you to assist and be there for you. They check in often, organize other helpers, and even come to help you pass the time. They bend over backwards to make sure you are taken care of, and love doing this for you and your family.

Two, some people will disappear when you need them most. This is heartbreaking because what you thought was a great, solid, and caring friendship is destroyed in the blink of an eye. When the going gets tough…they get going!

 

Now, based on these two descriptions we also need to see OUR side of the relationship. Let’s call this self-reflection time.

How are you projecting your situation out into the world? Who is getting sideswiped by your frustrations, “Debbie Downer” moments, and your wrath?

You see, it takes two. And of course, we know it’s hard to deal with something big that goes wrong in our life. I understand this. I spent 5 years in and out of surgeries, only to come to the realization that amputation was the only way out. I’m sure that I had some “moments” that weren’t so sweet and joyful. However, what was my body language saying? What words and type of tones were coming out of my mouth? Who got hit with the anger, frustration, and disappointment I was feeling in the worst moments on my journey?

Do you see what I’m saying here?

Sometimes we need to correct ourselves, for the sake of the relationship. We need to remember that everyone goes through hard times, unexpected illnesses, and redirections in their journeys. What we can’t do is succumb to the negative emotions at the risk of losing beautiful people in our lives. Negativity kills friendships. Negativity kills relationships. Negativity will keep you down and devour you from the inside out.

Friendships are two-way streets, and we just need to take a look in the mirror to see if what we are putting out in the universe is helpful in growing, and nurturing the relationships we have, or are we using our circumstance to separate us from those that we are closest.

Good friends want to watch you rise up and succeed. Does your personality during crisis mode invite them in to your life or scream at them to get out?

 

 

Take stock in your relationships.

This week make a list of the friends who have entered your life and those who are on their way out.

Next, decide which ones are worth saving and which ones are toxic to your recovery and happiness.

It’s time:

Reach out and love on the friends who mean something to you. Give them a reason to call you friend. We must learn to reciprocate the attention and support.

Cut ties with those who are bad for you. The ones who’d rather see you down and out, the ones who don’t believe in you and have let you down time and time again.

Use this next week to take stock in the true friendships in your life and, if need be, what it’s going to take on your part to nurture them.

 

You’ve got this,

And don’t forget that it’s ok to let go of those who are bad for you. Maybe they were a positive in your life PRIOR to what you’re going through, but they have changed since then. This is tour life, and you deserve to be happy.

 

Best wishes on clearing up your life and the poeple in it.

And as always, until next time,

Be healthy,

Be happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

Bouncing Back with Mike Coots

Bouncing Back with Mike Coots

Shark Attack Survivor to Shark Advocate: A True Bounce Back Story

Pictures in the Deep

 

Facing the creature who turned his life upside down… head on and with love and respect. Truly inspiring!

 

This is one story of bouncing back that has always stood out to me. Since I first met Mike, on Kauai, to our first interview in 2021, and watching his path widen, deepen, and become more powerful and enlightening, I have been in awe of his love for the one thing that did him harm. And quite frankly, that speaks volumes to me… not just about Mike, but about sharks! If someone is a victim of a shark attack and literally turns around to advocate for them and their rightful place as the apex predator of the ocean, AND portrays them as beautiful, and graceful creatures to be saved and admired, then I need to listen up and educate myself past the fears that have been instilled in me by Hollywood since I was a child.

This is Mike’s mission through his photographs and advocacy stance in DC.

Forgiveness was given, and a new path is being forged between the victim and the perpetrator.

This is the true meaning of healing on the inside.

When Mike was just 18 years old, with dreams of becoming a professional surfer, this nightmare couldn’t have been farther from his mind. Yet, with support from his family and community he took a huge setback and created a new life for himself.  He studied, met people, watched for doors to open, and went with the flow of his new path, which all led him to forgiveness, empathy, love, and partnership with the one thing that almost took his life.

Mike and the Tiger Shark

 

His setback became the set up for the life he lives now, and the life he adores.

When he was asked if he would change the day of his attack, to keep his legs and become that professional surfer, do you know what he said?

 

 

Back at it!

 

Listen in to hear his answer.

Listen in to hear what happened that fateful day, and to hear what new adventures he is on.

Thank you, Mike, for your time and telling your story, and for being the voice of a misunderstood creature in our oceans.

Mahalo!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie