Tag: faith

From Fear to “Thanks Giving”

From Fear to “Thanks Giving”

Moving Into the Right Mindset This Holiday

 

As an amputee I have so much to be grateful for in my life.

I am blessed to be alive.

 

My horses make me be present

 

I am thankful for my husband, two healthy sons, and a family who loves me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am grateful to be able to walk again, just to name a few.

 

 

Do I ever look back on the day that I injured myself, which led me to amputation, and wish it never happened?

NO! Never, not even once!

I am so fortunate to have been chosen for this journey. Looking back, wishing for something different sets  me up to fall into the trap, and vicious cycle, of never being satisfied or happy of where I am now.

I wouldn’t have met the people I’ve met.

I wouldn’t have overcome fears that I have had to face.

I wouldn’t have learned to trust in myself, the process, and my support system.

I wouldn’t have experienced the life I’m leading now with such gratitude because of what I have had to overcome and endure.

I am a stronger person, more passionate about my Faith, and better able to withstand immense pain and challenges than ever before.

 

This holiday season I challenge you to look past your fears, your disappointments,  your pain, your obstacles, your past, and your anger at your situation and see the small but relevant miracles happening in your life EVERY SINGLE DAY!

 

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET! Live for your happiness and to a brighter future.

When you change how you see your life and your circumstances you change the outcome. You see the good more easily in everyday encounters and silent moments. You will find yourself smiling more and grumbling less, and you will start to attract the type of people who want to be around you because you empower them with your outlook. It’s contagious!

What are you grateful for today?

 

 

Today, choose to be grateful!

Don’t wait any longer to see the joy in your life.

Start jotting down your blessings or what you are grateful for tonight.

Keep a list where you write 1-5 things that you are grateful for each night before bed. Fall asleep to gratitude in your heart and watch how refreshed and joyful you will start to be in the morning, just looking for the next moment.

I wish you and your families a very special, magical, and blessed Thanksgiving.

Until next week, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

A Leg Up On Life

A Leg Up On Life

Dealing With Negative Emotions Post-Amputation

 

Anger, Guilt, Shame, and Fear are all such destructive emotions. They hold us back from realizing our full potential and no one is immune to feeling them at one time or another.

As amputees, we face unique challenges, including fears about our new life, future uncertainty, failures, prosthetics, and adapting to physical limitations.

As a wife and homeschooling mom amputee I often struggled with guilt. I was always worried about making mistakes and inadequacy.

Now, as an amputee, (and I ELECTED this), I was even more fearful of what might be my shortcomings.

This is a lot of pressure to put on myself. How about you? Are you adding this stress into your life?

All in all, any of those above mentioned emotions, are taking away your happiness and also adding a negative aspect to your life, one that is stress-inducing and impeding success.

Stress can harm our health, impeding healing and progress. We must recognize and tame these self-destructive emotions if we are to truly love ourselves, love our life and live it fully.

 

Enjoy the good days. Remember those feelings. Harness them and utilize them when you are struggling.

 

We must realize what we are doing to ourselves and how to tame that monster that is self-destructive in nature.

So what can you do when these emotions begin to rear their ugly heads in your mind and life?

 

First thing;

Stop beating yourself up over situations you cannot control. You cannot control infections, poor fitting sockets, blister and rashes, or phantom pains.

Next, you need to communicate with your family and support system about how you are feeling. and when you’re feeling like you are getting everyone down. They need to know where you are at during the harder times as you navigate being an amputee because they probably don’t have any other experience with amputees than YOU.  Help them understand how you see yourself, where you want to be and what’s currently holding you back from realizing your potential. More than likely they wouldn’t want you to be worrying about that, just about getting better and stronger.

Finally, use positive self-talk. Your brain is a powerful muscle and it will bend and move to what thoughts you are allowing it to feed off of. If you tell yourself you aren’t good enough, that you aren’t contributing, or you are letting down those around you, then that is what you will feel is true. BIG TIME STRESSOR!

Time to start forgiving yourself, forgiving those around you that have hurt you, breaking free from fears, and letting go of guilt. When you are sick and laid up, your first priority must be to get stronger and healthier so you CAN get back to your life and family.

You can do this, you are strong enough. This is a long journey, a marathon, not a sprint. You will find that when things are going well something will come along and take you back a step or two. Likewise, when you are struggling, I can promise you, it won’t last and soon everything will start working out for the positive.

Don’t distress, dear Warriors, this too shall pass.

Lift up your chin, put a smile on your face, and laugh despite your struggles.

The time is now to sharpen your mental sword and fight for what you want and how you want to live your life.

Don’t give up and don’t lose hope.

Make today a great day,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

Help!

Help!

How Can You Know What You Don’t Know?

 

Yep, like clockwork!

Like life itself, being an amputee throws you curveball after curveball, no matter how seasoned you are.

My time is now, I guess.

I am almost six years out from my amputation, life has been great! I have been traveling, active, enjoying mobility and no (knock on wood) phantom pains worthy of discussion. This is the good stuff! I’m living my best life!

 

Monday’s walk…pre-pain

Enjoying island life

 

Monday, however, with our weather being nice and cool in the mornings, I took my pups for a walk. About one mile in I noticed an aching in my femur. Never had that before. Very curious.

At  1 1/4 miles, however, I as limping and trying to keep pressure of my limb and socket. Once I got home and sat for a minute the pain was gone, but I could recreate it by moving my socket around.

Now, I know my limits and I know how to push myself so, of course, I went for a walk the next morning.

And you guessed it, I was in pain again, in the same place on my leg. This time I cut my walk a little shorter.

I have never had this before. So I did what I needed to do. I began going through a process of elimination for what I was feeling.

First off, I was checking my residual limb that night for bruising or soreness when I touched the area in question. It feels bruised.

I had no redness or swelling.

I had no rash or blisters.

I checked my weight, only down a few pounds, but that’s not uncommon.

I am noticing some tripping off my toes lately which could indicate that my prothesis might be dropping some when I pick up my leg when walking.

My best guess is that for some odd reason, six years in, I am having some volume change, or shape change, to my residual limb (which is weird since I haven’t changed anything in my routines nor have I been traveling the past couple of weeks). This would explain bruising as I may be banging around in my socket because of excess room.

My worst case scenario is a possible bone spur, which would cause pain on the bone and can happen at anytime after amputation. This would suck because I’d have to have surgery to remove them.

So, for now, I will NOT take to social media to find answers because my medical team and I know my situation best.

I will NOT worry, because that doesn’t help and is a waste of time.

 

The Limb Center: I have these guys in my corner.

 

I have called my prosthetist and let him know what I’m feeling, when I’m feeling it, and where the pain is coming from. I will be seeing him soon to check out my fit of my socket and making some educated guesses with the person who has seen me through to this point.

From there we will formulate a plan to reduce/eliminate  the problem.

 

 

If you are  like me, and are dealing with an unusual circumstance with your residual limb.

If you are feeling scared or worried about what might be causing your trouble, here is your Call to Action:

 

Please don’t ask the keyboard warriors on your social media feed!

Please process what you are seeing, feeling, and noticing that is different than before with your residual limb and/or socket.

Make notes.

Call your medical team: orthopedic surgeon, prosthetist, and/or physical therapist and get their help.

And please, whatever you do, don’t waste time worrying about what it could be. Just remember that you were strong enough to get to where you are now, and you will be stronger still as you navigate this (what may be your first of MANY issues as an amputee) hurdle.

Remember to breathe, step back from your situation, make logical observations and talk to your medical team.

You and I will get through this.

We are warriors, of course.

Attitude is Everything

Have a beautiful week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

 

 

Enjoying Life

Enjoying Life

Live in the Moment and Experience Your Best Life

 

 

Take a breathe. Now slowly let it out.

Breathing is an automatic response by our body, it knows that we can’t survive without oxygen, but have you ever noticed your breathe being shallow or worse yet, you held your breathe?

We tend to do this in times of stress, anxiety and fear, and yes, we all face some sort of and some level of these moments on a daily basis.

We are actually depriving ourselves of the one thing our body needs to stay alive!

Now, take that and add in the frustration, pain, and uncertainty of losing a limb and trying to “get back to your life”. Also add in, for some of you, the anger you feel if accident or sickness took your limb away and the choice of living a life as an amputee wasn’t up to you. That’s pretty harsh, right?

But, we are stronger than we know. Our bodies and our minds are more resilient than we understand.

We must really make the effort to push forward.

 

 

I named this podcast Be-YOU-tiful Adaptive Warrior because 1) I believe we all have a warrior spirit, 2) that we are beautiful just as we are (no matter how many limbs we have) and 3) we are adaptive beings, no matter what is thrown at us, we are capable of adaptation.

The time is now to live in the moment. Realize that you and your life, no matter what you’re going through, are a miracle and capable of great things.

 

 

Now is the time to enjoy your life and press onward and FORWARD! No use in looking back if it’s just going to cause you pain, stress, and frustration. What’s done is done.

Now we live.

Now we rise up.

Now we embrace our journey, set goals, crush goals and REPEAT!!

You are special and you are strong enough! So rise up, Warriors, and live your best life!

 

Now what?

Ask yourself, “AM I ready to live my life again?”

If the answer is “No”, what is holding you back? You need to address those issues first, just don’t let fear be the reason. We all live with certain fears, the difference: those that press through their fears find the reward of facing them by experiencing a full life.

If your answer is “Yes, I’m ready”, then your next step is to decide what it is that you want to do, where you want to go, what you want to see, and what you want to try.

Make a list.

Decide which ones are plausible now and start creating steps you need to reach that goal and then….

BEGIN TODAY!!

If you want to surf, then you need to build core strength, work on balance, get a surf leg, practice popups on your floor in your house, etc, etc, etc.

Every goals has steps to get to the goal. Break yours down into bite sized pieces and start getting after it.

Remember, you are a miracle, your life is a miracle.

Be present, and enjoy your life. You’ll be so glad you did!!

Write to me and tell me how it’s going, I’d love to hear from you!

And remember you are a Warrior!

Until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Prepping For Battle

Prepping For Battle

Finding Peace and Comfort in This Hard Season

 

How does a warrior prepare for battle?

They need the right kind of armor to protect themself from harm.

They need weapons to defeat the enemy, too.

 

What is your armor?

What weapons do you wield as you go into this new season, this battle, for your health and livelihood?

Yes, you CAN prepare. There are things you can do to build yourself up to being stronger and able to handle the journey you are embarking on.

I am speaking from a perspective that I relate to, that is, elected amputation. Not everyone has this experience, and I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to have that taken from me with no choice, so I will not be speaking of that journey today.

I had four months to prepare, research, interview, seek help, and get a leg up (PUN intended!) on my forthcoming surgery.

I believe there are many things we need to address to feel even somewhat prepared for such a huge life-changing surgery, and even then, you are never going to be completely ready for that day and what is to come in the years to follow, but you might as well start from a positive, strong place.

I address 4 major areas to get yourself prepped for such a surgery: Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Insurance

Yep, Insurance! You are in control of those other areas of your life, but insurance can become the enemy very quickly if you are not researching and doing your due diligence with what your insurance covers…prosthetics are EXPENSIVE!!!

Like I said before, I had four months from the time I scheduled my surgery til the day of my amputation.

These four months were extremely challenging and emotional. I tried my best to stay positive and convinced that this was the right move, but some days were much harder to convince myself than others.

I began to go through the “What if’s….” A LOT! I had fears well up in the night as I lay in the dark and everyone else in my house was sleeping. I struggled with the idea of death, and I worried that I wouldn’t be a functioning amputee. So many questions, and I knew NO amputees at the time. So many fears and so many uncertainties. It was almost unbearable.

But I decided to not let negativity rule my months I had left as a ‘two-legger’, and I began to prepare my heart, mind and body for the battle ahead. And Insurance, unbeknownst to me, was going to be a very grueling battle!

Don’t get caught without a plan.

Don’t get caught without visualizing a better future.

Don’t get caught without setting goals.

These items are your armor and your weapons.

Be prepared, you are, after all, a WARRIOR!

We all have a warrior spirit, some of us just need to believe it to unleash it.

Believe in yourself. You can do this! I believe in YOU, Dear Warrior!

 

 

Start making a plan now, don’t wait!

Prepare yourself by addressing your mental and emotional capacity to handle what’s coming. How? Talk to people. When you talk about it you will find you relax the hold it has over you. I remember when I couldn’t even say “Amputation”, it made it too real if I said it, but that’s what I had to learn to do. The more I talked about it, the easier it became to say, eventually it got me then thinking about what was coming and how I might handle certain situations, like getting in and out of a car, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, cooking dinner while on crutches, etc. I would not have those questions without open conversations with my family and friends.

Physically prepare by building your balance, core strength, and the limb that will be left behind to do all the work.

Finally, insurance. Please do your research. Ask questions about what is and is NOT covered by your insurance. Double check, and even triple check if time allows. The cost is profound, and the average household struggles to afford one.

You are strong enough to go through this, but you must prepare, just as a runner prepares for a marathoner and a warrior prepares for battle. Strengthen yourself and watch a new life unfold in front of you.

Your life is ending or diminished because of amputation, it has just turned onto a new path. And the adventures will be amazing!

So, Warriors, rise up to the challenge in front of you! You are strong enough. You are brave enough. You are ENOUGH!

Until next week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

Independence

Independence

Freedom and Joy in Movement

 

What do you dream about doing or accomplishing?

As amputees we tend to struggle with getting back out there, worried that we won’t be able to live full lives filled with goals set and conquered, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Yes, the first couple of years there is a lot of changes taking place with your body, and a whole new routine of being fitted for your prosthesis every few months, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be getting active and finding the joy of becoming independent once again.

Prior to my amputation I spent 5 years in surgeries, icing and elevating my leg, and going to appointments. I had no time to do anything else, and my life became a series of tasks in hopes of getting better, but not truly living. I had no time to dream about the next ski trip or learning a new sport, I was in survival mode, plain and simple.

However, I set many goals for myself to accomplish by one year post-amputation. I never thought, “What if I can’t do this?” or “That’s not possible.” I just set my goals and worked toward them. No one told me that maybe I was being to aggressive on myself, or that I was dreaming too big. My family and friends just walked alongside of me, supporting me through it all.

What I can tell you about that first year is this: I was so happy! I found joy in life once again! I never looked back with regrets to having had the amputation, and in that first year I knew that I could do anything I put my mind to.

 

Life is meant to be lived fully. I aim to try new things whenever the opportunity arises!

 

The point: We each are traveling on our own unique journey, but we all want to have independence and the feeling of freedom that comes with that, this truly goes for those of us who have been laid up, or stuck in a medical crisis. Setting goals to keep us on track and moving forward is key to feeling the freedom of independence once again.

When I speak to other amputees about what they want to get back to doing to make them feel productive, and independent in life, some of the most basic life skills is what they speak of first; dressing themselves, standing in their kitchen to wash dishes or make a meal. Basic, right? But that’s what makes us feel productive and useful. I know I couldn’t wait to show my family that I could serve them the way I use to, before the accident. And when we experience these baby steps of accomplishment it leaves us thirsting for more!

The goals and aspirations grow and change. As we build strength and stamina, as we get better at using our prosthesis, we begin to really dream of the possibilities. That’s when the real fun begins, and the joy from accomplishing goals becomes a need not just a want.

So, What do you dream about accomplishing? What will give you back your independence or freedom?

Dare to dream because being an amputee isn’t what it use to be. You can do anything you put your mind to, if only you dare!

 

This week I want you to make a list of the things you most want to do. Maybe tasks around the house or at work. Maybe just getting dressed or making the bed. It doesn’t have to be big, monumental tasks or goals, just ones that will make you feel good that you can do on your own again.

It is also ok to add, to your list, goals for the future. Remember, dreaming is what keeps us motivated and moving forward.

Don’t be afraid to add whatever is on your heart. This is a great time to not think about the “how” of these longterm goals, just dream!

Finding independence again, is such a blessing and brings great joy.

Just remember to START WHERE YOU’RE AT.

Know that with these new goals there may be some fear or anxiety, but with anything worth achieving we must all face fears. I do all the time. Just remember what you’re made of. Remember what you’ve been through. YOU ARE A WARRIOR!!

Now make that list and start tackling those dreams!

 

I hope you all have a blessed week, thank you for listening,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

Bunker Hill- 297 steps to the top! I was nervous but I did it!
Walk It Out

Walk It Out

Practice Makes Permanence

It was 1 year post-amputation before I felt confident enough to go out and try a 10K

 

Let’s cut to the nitty gritty.

Practice makes permanence not perfection.

As an amputee it takes daily, mindful practice placing one step in front of the other to get comfortable in your prosthesis.

To take time to practice what feels right and looks right is important to learning the proper gait which in turn will help keep the rest of your body healthy and stronger for the long run.

If you start getting lazy, or not taking breaks and pushing yourself too hard too fast you might find yourself getting tired and losing focus and control over your practice.

This is a journey, not an end game. I am still focused on my gait and I am almost 6 years post-amputation.

Hiking on uneven, rocky terrain takes a lot of practice!

 

See the waddle? I can tell I was being lazy or I was hurting based on this one snapshot.

 

Woah! Working on balance and leg strength is important everyday so you can go off roading!

 

And once again, I try to challenge myself on different terrain. Winter hiking boots on snow/ice! Quite the trek!

 

 

Be mindful as you work on walking.

Pay attention to your hips being engaged and swinging your legs through your step versus swinging it out and around.

Take your steps slow and be patient.

Walk wherever you can and make learning your prosthesis a full time job, it’s important!

Also, be mindful of when you’re getting tired and take a break so you don’t resort to bad posture and gait.

I know you can do it, remember it is a journey and one worth practicing al the time.

Rise up, Warriors, and get to steppin’!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Me and My Guys in Hollywood Studios, FL
Launch

Launch

Prepare Yourself!

Your steps backward are prepping you to be rocketed forward.

Ever feel like you are being held down, pushed backwards, not making forward progress?

I’ve been there and it can be so frustrating! Sometimes it feels like you are never going to get back to where you were or progress any further

What I have learned over these past 12 years of setbacks and surgeries, backward movement and disappointment, is that whenever I have gone through those moments, sooner or later, I am back to where I once was AND usually further along than I could’ve ever imagined…and sometimes down a path I would never have seen.

Sometimes these “valleys” take days , weeks or even months. Mine lasted 5 years of hoping and praying that life would cut me a break…little did I know that a simple pop of my MCL in a karate graduation would amount to an amputation 5 years later, and some of the most profound and wonderful moments of my life!!!

We need to remember that when we have setbacks- they won’t last forever, and that these setbacks are stressing us to launch us into something greater than we could ever have fathomed.

Prepare yourself; your heart, mind and body, for something great to happen. Don’t get down and give up, instead be prepared for your launch!

Be prepared for something amazing and spectacular to happen on your life.
Setbacks are a way to a new path and usually one that sets us up for greatness.

Be prepared to be launched!!

This week starts mentally preparing yourself for your launch, especially if you feel that you’ve been knocked down or held back by some illness, frustration, situation in your life.

Start seeing what could be and what might happen and see the positive side, get excited for change to come and push you further than you could ever believe you’d go. Sometimes just preparing our minds to accept change that might come can manifest itself into reality. “If you can think it you can do it” sort of scenario.

Don’t get down, just know that you are being stressed and stretched to be sling shot forward into a whole new situation with all new possibilities.

Just know that you won’t be where you are forever. You are being prepared to experience a forward movement and back to climbing to that mountain top.

I hope you have a beautiful week ahead.

And as always.

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

much love,

Angie

 

#bawarrior360 #believinginyourself #limbloss #podcast #personaljourney #launch #setbacksaresetups #prepareyourself #amputeelife #ampstrong #valleystomountaintops #slingshot

Purpose in the Waiting

Purpose in the Waiting

 

 

Like a little kid excited and waiting for Christmas morning with great anticipation only to be sad when the presents are all opened, stockings are emptied and bedtime arrives once again.

We too, can find ourselves wrapped up in waiting for life.

We wait for the next appointment, the next fitting, the next promotion, the next relationship, the next thing to be excited about. But what about now? What about the moments that are hard and challenging? Are you letting life waste away and pass you by while you wait or are you living with intention and purpose?

One place I find my purpose

It’s hard, I understand that. As an amputee we spend the first 2-3 years just waiting on healing, the next socket, the insurance company, the follow-up appointment, refitting, adjustments, etc, etc, etc.

Just when we think we have everything going well with our leg something changes, and we start all over again.

I spent the first 3 1/2 years changing and fluctuating before I got my latest socket which I have been in for over a year. And yet, I still have my moments that are hard and challenging. Isn’t that life?

How about you? What’s got you stuck? Do you know what you’re living for?

 

 

This week, if you are in a funk and can’t focus on the present find someone that you can reach out to and help.

Maybe a neighbor could use a visit, or a friend needs an errand run. Whatever it is, whomever you choose to help, realize that you can do so much good and real live your life even in a season of waiting.

Sometimes the first step in helping ourselves is to think about others and find our purpose in being a help to them. Finding purpose in your waiting is key to happiness and feeling content. Remember that when you wake, and have breathe in your lungs then you are meant to be here and to make a difference in the world.

Go out and seize each day, live your life don’t wait to live it.

Tomorrow isn’t promised.

Let your warrior out and rise up! You deserve to live and be happy, even in the waiting.

 

Have a blessed week.

As always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Dress For Success

Dress For Success

An Equine Analogy For Your Motivation

 

 

You must look the part.

You need to rise up, clean up, and organize yourself if you want to achieve and succeed.

Trust me I know!

Today I found myself entranced on how much time I spend with my horses grooming them.

Why do we do that? Why do we spend so much time brushing them, wiping their faces down, conditioning their mane and tidying them up? It’s not like my horses are heading out on the town nor are they saddled and transported where others will see them… then why?

 

Getting in the Christmas Spirit last year

 

I’ll tell you why, because that keeps them looking kept and neat. It keeps them healthy and clean. I brush them, I wash them, I wipe out their nostrils and eye ducts, I clean out their hooves, all in the name of health. We need to do the same, especially when we aren’t feeling great. When we are down and out, our health depends on it, our outlook on life depends on it, and ultimately our success depends on it. It’s so easy to take the road less traveled when we are hurting and not at our best. When life throws us curveballs and tries to take us down that’s when we need to fight harder, rise quicker, and move forward. When we get wrapped up in negativity and cave to the easy path, or path of least resistance, we tend to let oursleves go, let our homes go and stop really living. That’s when we allow life to pass us by, while we wait for something better to happen to us or for us, for our situation to resolve itself. However, that’s not living life, that’s giving up and hoping things work out.

We need to rise up each day and prepare for life. We need to clean ourselves up, we need to make our bad, we need to get out and MAKE life happen! We all have issues. We will all have problems that arise, but the ones who succeed adjust and fight for what they want. The ones who succeed are the ones who dress for success, each and every day, despite what’s happening, despite the pain and frustrations they are going through. How about you? Are you “dressing” for success each day? Are you preparing for good to happen? That is the key.

I clean my horses up every single day so they are clean, healthy, and happy. When they get the grooming they need they can then attack the day with confidence and pride. Shouldn’t you be the same, if not more motivated to do so?

You are a warrior. Warriors plan for success and it starts with your physical appearance, at the very least. Start there and see where it takes you in life. You might be surprised.

So warriors, rise up and take on the day! You deserve that!

 

 

This week, take care of yourself, starting with your appearance-your physical self. Get up, get ready for the day, make your bed, and go do something.

Be active in your life.

Make life happen FOR you, not TO you.

Stop waiting for right time, the next day, or when you’ll feel better.  Sometimes we need to just start something positive and good with the simple act of looking “put together”, ready to tackle the day. That is your challenge this week.

Go get after life! You’ll be so glad you did!

 

Be an active

As always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,