What’s Your Word?
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Wintertime brings colder weather, holidays and family time, ice and snow, along with new outdoor activities. It also brings with it challenges for getting around if you are an amputee (or anyone who struggles with balance).
I am fortunate enough to live in Arizona but as a family, we love to get out and ski in the mountains of Colorado and Utah.
My very first goal as I was getting ready for my amputation was to ski again with my family. I had just 3 months from amputation to test myself.
Even though there are different ways to accomplish “skiing” I wanted to be standing and looking like I always did as a skier (minus one leg that is). My stubbornness definitely helped me. That plus my perfectionist attitude and drive.
My first day I was so nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I tell you this because even though I had been skiing since I was 17 years old there was so much relearning to be done and a lot of newness to skiing with only one ski. For instance, turning one way versus another was so much harder not having the downslope ski to aid in control.
As time went by, I began to understand what was needed to succeed. Every chance we got I went on the slopes. And every time I was on the slopes I got butterflies and had to suppress fears of getting hit from behind, falling and trying to get back up (not as easy with one ski and on a slope of snow), or heading downhill and catching icy patches.
There are other ways to ski, like on a mono ski (sitting in a bucket sled, leg(s) strapped down), or using a ski bike.
This past trip we decided to take a day off from skiing, but I wanted to be outdoors and breathing in the cold mountain air and enjoying the snow all around us, so we went for a hike into the mountains.
It was beautiful!
Winter life for an amputee is quite challenging. Just as changing our shoes, or going over different types of flooring or terrain, challenges us for a few minutes before we feel comfortable moving about with the change, winter challenges us and our feeling of confidence and trust in each of our steps. We must be more cautious, and meticulous with each step. I am always looking down at where my feet are landing and what type of surface I will be hitting with the net few steps. For me to enjoy the beautiful mountains w were hiking in I had to stop and set myself then look all around. Once I got my fill I would begin to march on once again.
All in all, I am excited for my next winter trip and plan to try snow shoeing and see how it feels to have larger foot on my prosthetic.
Even though there are a lot of new things to adjust to as winter weather approaches, know that you are capable, you just need to learn your perimeters. It takes time, but with focus and determination you can conquer winter without any falls or injury. Always know to protect your good/sound leg and take your time. Don’t allow anyone to push you faster than you are ready to go.
Stay positive and create positive verbal cues for your brain to latch onto and you’ll find yourself maneuvering snowy conditions like a pro!
FIERCE AND ON FIRE Challenge!
Don’t forget that we are still charging forward on 100 miles before Jan 1!
Are you in?
Check the past couple of podcasts for the link to join and to register for the challenge at Run Motivators if you want to order a medal for your trophy case!!
Let’s keep moving and end 2023 active and healthy!
May your hot;liday season be filled with family, fun, joy, and blessings of all kinds.
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
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I had the distinct honor of being a part of a gait study at MIT in their Media Lab in Boston. It was the final project of a PhD student’s program and it was amazing!
To see what the future of prosthetics is heading toward and being able to test something that is still a ways out from being on the commercial market was such a blast and a lot of work. Testing the product through different scenarios and also using my own leg to show my baseline capabilities for comparison was so interesting and enlightening.
I would never have picture myself, in a million years, being able to be a part of this, nor did I ever picture myself without a leg.. oh the places I have been, the people I have met and the experiences I have enjoyed, all because of my decision to amputate almost 5 years ago.
Would I do it all again? Yes!
First off, I am not a person that looks back and says, “if only I had…” or ” I would have done this differently”. Instead I focus at what’s happening now and what’s in front of me. This makes me a happier person.
Second, I wouldn’t trade all the problems I have had (phantom pains/sensations, fitting issues, rashes and burns from sockets) because everything I have been blessed to experience has also been met with amazing people, experiences and seeing and doing new things.
I am a better person, a more well-rounded person, for having this life altering surgery. I am happy that my life changed direction.
I have been able to test my will power, my integrity, my character much more by going through something so big. I have been tested and been able to rise up and become a stronger individual, both physically and emotionally.
I wished I could share with you so much more about my time at MIT, but until this student’s study is published it needs to be hush hush. Someday next year I will talk about it in more detail, but until then, I suggest that if you ever get a chance to take part in a study, one that helps make progress in our prosthetics, take it. Not only are you helping the future, you will also get to learn more about yourself.
As the past couple of weeks I have pushed you all to get active during this busy time of year. Taking care of yourself is so important for your mental and physical well-being but we tend to put it off for other things. Don’t wait! Join me on my Fierce and On Fire challenge.
It’s a virtual challenge by RunMotivators and if you’d like to join you can register and receive a medal for accomplishing this virtual challenge.
The goal? 100 miles, your way.
What does that mean?
You decide how you accomplish 100 miles. I set the goal timeline for December 31st but you can always set your own timeline since this started 3 weeks ago for me.
How can you reach 100 miles?
Whatever is comfortable and easiest for you and your circumstances. If you are wheelchair bound them maybe do some upper body workouts.
15 minutes=1 mile
You can swim, walk, hike, ski, surf, run, bike…the sky is the limit and you decide what challenges you, where you are at.
The idea is to get moving for YOU!
Making yourself a priority during this time of year, when we tend to ditch the things we do for ourselves to doing things for others.
Are you in??
Join me TODAY and get a jumpstart on your own health and fitness goals.
I hope you have a blessed week ahead and as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
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When you are going through something have you noticed how many people have advice?
The questions of: Have you tried this? Did you see Dr. So and So? This is the only prosthetic that works…. etc, etc.
I have had the opportunity to see many doctors throughout my injury, been to an amazing plastic surgeon, and have great prosthetists. I tell new amputees all about them but I try to stay conscious of pushy. My personal experience is MY personal experience, and I am always hopeful that it can be somebody else’s experience too, but it may not be. This just recently happened and it was heartbreaking to see. Without going into detail, because that’s what this podcast talks about, I had a couple of friends, amputees, use one of my doctors to help with revisions and their experiences were not like my positive experience.
I also watch social media posts and peruse the comments and am taken aback by the many people who believe their way is the only way, their doctor is the best doctor, their prosthetic brand is the best out there. Do you see where I’m going with this?
“Always”, “Never”, “The Best”, and “The Worst”, are red flags in my book, and should be avoided at all costs.
So why do we fall victim to adhering to these types of comments and following this type of advice? When we are in pain, scared, anxious, and in doubt we want ANYTHING that will get us out of that situation, and the faster the better. When we ask a large group of people (social media groups) how they handle this situation, or ask for help when we are experiencing phantom pain so extreme we are beside ourselves, we will take any advice if the person comes across unwavering and confident in their advice.
The problem? We are all DIFFERENT!
We have different reasons for our injury, different backgrounds, different personalities, different pain threshold levels, and completely different reasons for what we are feeling.
Just last week I experienced phantom pain, like my foot had been set on fire. It was non-stop, day and night. I haven’t had that in a long time. This time it was caused by my situation, not my fit. I was very upset and stressed about something (listen to last week’s podcast), and this was how my body dealt with it. However, if I had told any Facebook groups that I was dealing with this major burning, without giving the situational background, like so many people do, I would’ve been told that pain meds work, or gummies were the way to go, or try sleeping it off, etc. But what I needed to do was get outdoors for fresh air and allow myself to grieve. The fresh air and exercise helped me cope with my issue, which allowed my phantom pains to subside.
I knew what I needed. I trusted my gut on why I was experiencing what was happening to me.
We sometimes forget, in the midst of hard times, that if we just listen to our bodies, that we know what’s best and what is right for us.
When we schedule an appointment with a doctor but feel unsettled when in the office, we need to listen.
When we struggle with pain, we must quiet ourselves enough to listen to what our body is telling us.
Yes, it’s good to get some opinions, but take all advice with a grain of salt. We know ourselves better than a doctor with a PhD. We understand what we’ve been going through more than a random keyboard warrior who loves to put their two cents into everyone’s problems.
Aren’t we worth that?
Don’t we deserve the best care possible?
It’s time to advocate for yourself.
When you have an appointment, make sure you take questions you want answered so you don’t forget them if your train of thought gets derailed (mine did as soon as one doctor brought up amputation for the first time-I was stunned and my mind went blank. Luckily my husband was with me).
Bring someone you trust with you to the appointment (see comment above).
Listen to what your body is telling you. You know YOU best! DOn’t doubt yourself.
Remember, advice is great for optionality, but there is no “One size fits all” answer to your situation.
You are a warrior! Don’t you forget that! Fight for yourself! Fight for the life you’ve envisioned for yourself. You deserve the BEST!!!
I’m praying for you. Rise up and be heard, Warrior!
Until next week, as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
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Take it from me when I say that it can be really difficult to drop the ego and allow yourself to be vulnerable.
I have always prided myself in being a high achiever, a perfectionist, a go-getter, and so highly competitive that I have built up walls and a tough exterior when I am trying new things or in a competitive environment. The very last thing I would ever do is ask for help or, worse yet, show any weaknesses in front of anyone.
The problem with that is that I cannot grow, evolve and improve in this state.
We need to get outside of our comfort zones to challenge ourselves.
And when we find ourselves challenged we need to ask for help and we need to have times of failing. That is what helps us learn and improve ourselves, our craft, or our hobby.
In this podcast, I take you on my journey when last week I finally put down my ego and reaped the benefits! It was humbling, exhilarating, and challenged me. In a short time I also made a new friend with similar interests who inspires me to keeping working hard. What a blessing getting out of my own way has been in just a short time. Imagine what I can accomplish now that I have this nugget of information, this new skill or letting go of my ego so that I can better myself and my life!
Won’t you join me on this new and exciting journey?
Has your pride, or ego, stopped you from accomplishing some of your goals (big or small)?
Then this week it’s time to bloom where you’re at and shine!
Set yourself up for success, enjoy the breathe of fresh air as you swallow that ego, show your vulnerable underbelly, and challenge yourself to something new.
You will be amazed at how happy you’ll feel about your new found freedoms from your own prison.
So get out of your own way, Warrior, and rise (and fall) in the new challenges you choose to take on.
Through failures and weaknesses we find our strengths, and build character.
Time to define your life!
So rise up, Warrior, rise up!
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!
Much love,.
Angie
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A big fear of mine has always been failing, especially in front of a lot of people. How about you?
After becoming an amputee this became the daily fear that would well up inside of me. Every day I put on my leg I had to deal with idea that, as I was learning to walk in it, I just my wipe out. Then after I got good at walking, I added in the fear of falling with a running blade on, which would make for a more epic fall.
It feels like the normal, everyday, things were now causing my anxiety.
I realized right away that I would have 2 choices:
Stay home, pout, and not get out and work on my new life
or
Get out, try everything, fail, pick myself back up and try again.
As you probably guessed, I opted for the second choice! Get out and LIVE!
This took time, patience, humility, and drive.
It wasn’t easy going into a grocery store with a new leg, knowing people were watching, almost waiting for me to stumble. At least that’s how it felt at first. But I had a family to feed and a husband at work all day. I was not going to be a burden and I was going to learn this new lifestyle, no matter what it took.
As a teacher, I told my students all the time that it’s ok to fail. That’s the only way to learn. It was time for me to take my own advice.
It’s a long road, a hard journey, when learning to walk again. It’s difficult to take an old. easy, everyday task, and start over.
Have grace and forgiveness with yourself. Be patient, like you’d be with your own kids learning something new.
What advice would you give your baby who was just learning to walk? Would you be mad at them for trying their first steps and falling over? Of course not, so why would you be mad, upset, impatient with yourself?
Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves, yet so forgiving with others that we seeing trying and failing?
Remember, it is more rewarding to try, try, try again and get something, than to just be able to do something simple that you get on your first try.
When you are forced to subject yourself to uncertainty, and yet certain failures at first, you are building your experience, you are building your character, and you are building a warrior mentality. These are the characteristics that will help you succeed at your next task.
Don’t be afraid to get out there and try something new. You never know what will come of your efforts. What I have learned is that with every trial, I became stronger, met new people, inspired others, and found a deep joy for my new life that I wouldn’t change for the world!
Deep inside of you lies a warrior waiting to be unleashed! You’ve got this. Face your fears head on and watch how you will transform your life!!!
You are a warrior!!
This week begin to change your mindset. Speak positively to yourself and then think of 1 thing you have been wanting to do but have been too afraid to try it.
Now make a plan on how to get from point A to point B. Remember to break it down into baby steps. You cvan do this. I believe in you!
Work at it every day, even for 5-10 minutes. Realize that learning to do something new takes failure. Embrace the failures. Even laugh at yourself from time to time. We all fail at first.
Pick yourself back up and start again!
Don’t give up!
You’ve got this!!
Until next time,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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It’s real!
It does exist, and it can come out of nowhere and attack you when you least expect it. Phantom pain is an equal opportunity offender with no regard for who it targets.
Phantom sensation is similar but constant. It’s not about the excruciating pain it inflicts, like phantom PAIN, as much as it’s the never ending, always present tingling, buzzing, and throbbing of the missing body part, (in my case, my lower left leg and foot).
No matter what’s going on, how active I am or am not, or even the weather, phantom sensations are always burning in my foot. At first I didn’t think I was going to be able to take it but I can tell you two certainities:
Just a reminder, all journeys are NOT the same. my pain tolerance might be higher than yours or your phantom pain might last longer and be more intense than mine, we are all different and how we handle them is also going to be different.
Some people choose to medicate to help with the pain, others use mirror therapy or a neurotransmitter.
Others may choose to use tap therapy, or heat/cold therapy to lessen the intensity.
I have a neurotransmitter implanted in my back, but it created more pain than it stopped so I have turned mine off, for now.
I also have chosen to stay far away from medication so I know the true feelings of my pain and learn to deal with them naturally as they come. I spent too many years on drugs to help with all the surgeries and couldn’t wait to get off of them, permanently!
Like I said, everyone is different. what works for me may or may not work for you. Only you can decide how to attack these phantom issues. It’s always good to talk with other amputees to see how they are dealing with their pain and what works for them but remember what works for them may not work for you.
I say this so you don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work. You will need to keep searching and trying out new ways to handle your pain based on you. And sometimes something will work one time but not the next time it occurs. Talk about frustrating!!
Phantom pain is for real! It’s vicious, distracting, and debilitating! It can and will try to consume you, and break you, just remember you are strong! You are a warrior!
This is a tough one.
You will need to get creative and dig down deep!
This is where TRUE warriors are made.
Don’t sit and dwell on the pain, it will consume you and make it harder to bounce back from it.
Find somethings that work for you (I use distraction when I am in a bad pain place-walking, driving in my car, playing music, watching a movie, reading, moving some more, getting to the gym, etc) This keeps my mind active, and distracted. Don’t sit around thinking about it, it’ll only amplify the pain, trust me, I know!
Once you find things you are capable of doing, use these techniques to help you on the rough days. You will find that you will handle the phantom pains better if you have resources ready to be utilized.
And don’t forget to communicate with your family, friends, your support system. Even best laid plans get wrecked, and if you are screaming on the inside, more than likely you’ll start screaming on the outside and the people who you love the most will be casualties to it. Let them know that you are struggling. Phantom pain is invisible to everyone outside of us, they can’t know what we are going through so we must be open and honest, for the sake of relationships.
You’ve got this and you are NOT alone.
Rise up, Precious Warrior, Rise up! Fight your battles with confidence and with the assurance that this too shall pass.
As always and until next week,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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As I approached my surgery date for my amputation I began to dream. I dreamt of all the things that could be a challenge and how I was going to conquer each challenge. I created a vision board, set goals, and dared to dream of rising above my circumstance.
Once that surgery happened, I began to set my sights on each goal: learning to walk as quickly as possible, skiing with my family, learning to surf, virtual races, and then a 10k, in person, at the Phoenix Rock’n’Roll Marathon.
I worked hard at PT, I trained outside of PT, got back in the gym, and dreamed about reaching my goals.
Each day I would wake up and jump at the opportunities to become stronger, mentally focused, and created smaller goals to get to the big ones.
I had purpose and I was driven.
My family was backing me through all of my endeavors, and I am so grateful for that because as I set my goals and worked toward them, I grew stronger and more confident in my new abilities. My family became my “WHY”. Why I was doing what I was doing was so that no one had to cater their life for me because of the position I was now in as an amputee. I wanted to be strong, confident, self-sufficient and totally independent to be the wife and mom they had always known.
When you wake up and are given another day on this planet with the people in your life, you need to see that you have purpose. No matter what you are going through, or the challenges you are facing, you have something to offer this world: a smile, a kind word, inspiration, your talents. There is more to you than your physical being. You were given a soul to share in this world. You were gifted with talents that only YOU could possess. It is up to you to make good on them, to see past your own circumstances, and give each day your best.
YOU have purpose.
If you have breath in your lungs, you have purpose.
What is your purpose in life? What gifts do you possess that the people, your community, could benefit from?
Who or what is your “WHY”?
What gets you up and charged each morning?
First thing is to figure out your “WHY”. Who or what makes you want to be stronger? More fierce? Unstoppable? Who do you live for?
Write it down!
Next, figure out what you want to do with this life you are given. You are more than your circumstance(s). You are more than your physical body.
Don’t define your goals, dreams and ambitions by your situation.
Tell yourself you can do whatever you set your mind to.
Now write down what you want to do in the next couple of weeks, months, and by year’s end.
Dream it, do it!
These goals and ambitions give you your purpose.
Example: I began looking for ways to help others on their amputation journey. I wanted to use my positive outlook to help others and to show them that life wasn’t over after amputation, just different, and adaptable.
You are a warrior!
Be strong, find ways to conquer and live your best life…No matter your circumstance you always have purpose and something to give this world.
As always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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What grounds you and wakes you up to the moment you’re living in?
What lights a fire and gives you strength and clarity?
I realize that all too often, that I am wishing away a moment, a day, even a month, just to get to the next thing on my list, like nothing else matters.
Have you ever been guilty of that?
After my amputation I just remember wishing for my first socket to be ready, then my next PT, I couldn’t wait to get walking, or out of pain. Living in frustration and anxiousness because THIS moment wasn’t where I wanted to be.
Every once in a while, something will happen in my life that wakes me up to the fact that I am wishing away my life, not happy where I’m at, and wanting to be anywhere else, doing something else. That’s when I stop, slow down, and reflect on how precious my life, in that moment is. I see the mountains for the first time all over again. I watch the birds coming and going, paying attention to each sound they make, smelling the desert air as if for the first time as the storm rolls in.
This is where I want to be, in the good and the bad, living on purpose, with a purpose.
So how do we stay present, and not take life for granted?
How do we handle the pains, and bumps and bruises, we are dealt on a daily basis, embracing it for better or worse?
Unfortunately, it takes an event to snap us out walking through life in a zombie state of mind and to see our lives with fresh eyes.
I experienced that this past weekend when my family came to visit, and it was their first time to ever visit Arizona. The first time to feel the dry heat, see the ginormous cacti, and smell the monsoon roll in. As I pondered how it must feel, look, and smell to them I was reminded how I felt my first time, and how I took all of that for granted.
This is the same for us as we go through the trials in life. We get fixated on our next doctor appointment, next surgery, next test, only to forget the moments in between.
Life is going to through us curve balls, it’s going to try and knock us down (and will succeed every once in a while) and sidetrack us into thinking and worrying about everything else but what is happening to us right this moment. We must stop this.
We must embrace the moment we are in, live intentionally, and enjoy where we are. This moment is fleeting, and another one will take its place, and we are not guaranteed tomorrow.
I realized that I am guilty of wishing away days, instead of enjoying them. I regret this as I now sit here, wishing for them to come back, but it is in vain. What I can do is to stay present from now on. Enjoy the good times with the bad, knowing that they will pass and be filled with others. Each of these events is a part of my journey, making me into who I am, building me into the person I am meant to be.
Maybe today you are hurting or struggling with life. Maybe you are wishing today away, hoping for a better day tomorrow. Are you seeing clearly at the life you are making for yourself, or just going through the motions? What a gift it is to be awoken from a deep sleep, from routine, to see clearly once again, to enjoy life with fresh eyes.
What are you wishing away? Remember, you’ll never get tomorrow back.
This week, try to stay present. Enjoy each moment for what it’s worth, even if it’s not pleasant. Enjoy the view, you’ll find your outlook on life can change and become more positive, when we let go of our distractions and fine tune our sight to what is in front of us.
Practice being present and looking at the world around you as if looking at everything for the first time- with eyes like a child.
You are strong and capable, but it takes practice. Set down your phone, find time to sit in silence and without distraction, your heart and mind will thank you for it.
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!
Much love,
Angie
P.S. Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses along the way!
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Just when you think you are in the clear. Or when you feel like you got it all together….Wham!!!
Yep, life sends you into a new challenge.
I am 4 1/2 years out from my amputation and into my 15th socket I go. However, even though it should have been a simple change as it was just a remake of the socket I was in (the plastic was giving away but still fit) we encountered complications.
Nothing major, but my valve wasn’t working properly for a couple of weeks, which meant I couldn’t wear it, and then once that got fixed the end of my residual limb seemed to be moving too much down inside of the socket, which was creating swelling, which in turn made it worse.
It was a snowball effect. One issue, led to another issue, which led to another issue.
Simple fix. Hmmm.
Ever have that happen to you?
How did you handle it?
What I can tell you is that after 4 years of wearing a prosthetic, I have become more attuned to my body and what feels right, and what I can and cannot handle. These are minor issues, indeed, but if you don’t have the experience (which only comes with time and observations as an amputee) then you may be prone to freaking out about the fit and worried that these issues could get worse and create bigger issues.
I remember the first time my residual limb swelled. I didn’t know what was happening, why it felt weird and hard, and freaked out that I was getting an infection. After all, I had heard of amputees getting infections years after their surgery! YIKES!!
Now that I understand what is happening with my limb, I know how to combat it and when to call my prosthetist for help and adjustments.
Experience is key, but I share this with you so you understand what can happen, even years later. That you need to build up your patience and knowledge so you can handle these odd moments, because they don’t just stop after the first year.
Don’t give up hope.
Try not to get frustrated, and make sure you make time to stop and breathe deeply.
Smile. It helps with your emotional state in the midst of problems, and don’t let fear strike you down. I understand that each new issue is delving into the unknown, but you will survive, and you will rise up again, and again, and again.
Remember, you are a Warrior!
Now go out and seize the day!
You are special, unique, and there is only one YOU in this whole, wide world!
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie