Tag: personal journey

Pushing Past the Pain

Pushing Past the Pain

Be Strong! You Can Get Through This!

Pain is a tricky thing.  Each of us experiences pain multiple times in life. It comes and goes. It happens when we have an accident, when we’ve had surgery, and sometimes it is invisible to the people around us. It is always very real to the person dealing with it.  Pain is different for each of us, too. Some of us have a low tolerance for pain while others may not even register it- I have a friend whose son fractured a bone in his  foot and the pain never registered to him!

There is no normal to pain OR pain relief.  Each person has to figure out  what they can tolerate and how to handle their pain when it hits.

While this sounds like a bummer because no one else can truly help you through your specific circumstance there are ways  to help yourself that works for most people. I’m talking about building up your mental game.

Being outside in the sunshine and fresh air has so many health benefits both physically and mentally.

It’s important that you find a way to navigate through your pain.  Be patient with yourself, too, there will be good days and bad days.  Sometimes just recognizing the fact that there will be bad days, days which you can’t seem to handle the pain anymore, will help you have grace with yourself when you feel lost, stuck, or like throwing in the towel.  Don’t let those moments defeat you.  Use them to fuel you to keep moving forward.  Stay as positive as you can and distract yourself, do something you love, to push through those weaker moments, just remember that we are human and we will fall short, every now and then, from handling our situations.  If you feel like you have been knocked down, that’s ok, we all do at some point or another, but pull yourself up by the boot straps, and keep moving forward.  Last week I wrote about the Chinese proverb:  Get knocked down 7 times, get up 8.  That’s what it takes to become stronger.  Change your thinking. Don’t give in!

 

Dr. Roni Prucz, my amazing plastic surgeon who performed my TMR surgery in December 2020

 

 

This week I want you to write down your positive messages to yourself on post-it notes or notecards, and place them where you look everyday or in places where you struggle.

If you struggle getting out of bed in the morning then put them by your bedside.  Statements such as:

“You can do this!”

“I will NOT quit!”

“Today is going to be great/better!”

“One step at a time”

 

Use these messages to yourself to motivate and not give up.  You could even ask someone in your circle to write short affirmations for you to help as well.  Just keep the positive vibes going.  Send yourself messages of love and grace to yourself, and use them in times of weakness.

 

Attitude is Everything

Until next time, remember:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

If the Shoe Fits

If the Shoe Fits

What You Wear Makes a Difference

Did you know that as an amputee the type of shoe we wear can make all the difference in our performance and outcome of wearing a prosthetic? When I was learning to walk for the first time I needed a shoe that was stable and would help me be more balanced. Now, 2 1/2 years later, I need a shoe that is rugged and can take me to mountain tops.
Depending on your newness of being an amputee and your level, or desired level, of activity,  the shoe you wear can help you or hurt you.
I realized that last week when I just didn’t feel good in my newest socket…then I looked down and realized I wasn’t wearing a normal athlete shoe. Once I changed what I was wearing I literally felt so much better and my socket wasn’t hurting me like it had been!
I don’t like changing my shoes out very often, it’s hard to reach my foot, and some shoes are stiffer than others which makes putting them on a two person job.
Below are my typical shoes I wear weekly.
My Adidas! ❤  These are incredible for stability and balance!

 

Saucony Trail.  Great for road walking and being active.

 

Oboz.  Awesome hiking boots… and waterproof!

 

I live in these three shoes throughout the week.  They are great for a variety of activities.

 

 

Are you having issues with your knee(s), hip, back?  Check your shoes.  What are you wearing?  Are they old and worn out? Are you using the wrong type of shoe for the wrong activity?

Are you an amputee and feel unstable? Your shoe might have something to do with that.  Look into Adidas or Van Shoes, you might be surprised the difference they will make.

Make changes to the type of shoes you are wearing this week and see if that simple change helps your situation.

You may be pleasantly surprised, I know I was!

 

And as always:
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
Goals

Goals

Set ‘Em, and Slam Dunk ‘Em!

No better time than the present!  It doesn’t need to be a Monday or the first of the month or, even worse, January 1st to set and achieve any goal you set for yourself. Now is the time to get started on the path you want and desire for yourself.  What do you want from your life? Do you want to be healthier? Eat better? Quit smoking/drinking? Get moving and exercise daily?  Are you, like me, trying to walk better and more smoothly in your prosthetic or use your running blade for running?

What are you waiting for? Let’s crush your goals….NOW!

 

You can do anything you set your mind to and setting goals is the most powerful way to get there.  To make sure you’re successful in achieving your goals you need to make sure you follow a few steps.

  1. Set a goal you really want to achieve.
  2. Set a DATE to achieve it by.
  3. Tell people who care about you. They will hold you accountable when you struggle to stay the course.
  4. Forgive yourself when you take a step backward, and pick yourself back up and continue forward.
  5. Write it down!!
  6. Celebrate the small victories and be proud of yourself when you achieve your goal.

These simple steps will help you meet your goals and push you forward. When you start achieving your goals you will find that you will feel better about yourself, be physically healthier, and your mental game will be stronger.

A happier and healthier you will be greeting on the other side of your goals.

It’s all up to you and what you really want in life.

This is how I got motivated to move in my prosthetic from the start.

 

I use a little extrinsic reward to stay motivated to move.  For me, after many years of knee surgeries before amputation, I couldn’t get out and move.  Even a small walk to the mailbox was too painful for me.  I gained weight and felt awful about myself.  Once I got my prosthetic I couldn’t wait to be mobile, but it wasn’t that easy.  Learning how to manipulate the knee joint and getting use to wearing a 12 lb leg was more than I bargained for but I was determined, after all I decided to amputate so I could be mobile once again.  The only way I knew how to get use to something was to use it, and use it daily, no matter what.  Enter virtual races, before they became a pandemic thing.

I loved that I could do it on my own time, the way I could do it, and at my pace.  I was hooked after receiving my first medal, and as you can see I have gained a few…. and some aren’t even in this picture!  All of these I completed in the past 2 years, as an amputee!  If I can do this then so can you. You just need to follow those basic steps above, to help you succeed.

 

 

You guessed it!

This week I want you to set a realistic, yet challenging goal for yourself.

What have you been putting off but really want to achieve?

WRITE IT DOWN! Put it somewhere you can see every morning to remind yourself and remember you ARE worth achieving it!

Tell your friend or family member, or join a social group that’ll support you, cheer you on, and pick you up when you fall.

Remember, it’s a journey. You’ll have good days and bad. There will be days you fail, but you must pick yourself back up and press on. Don’t quit!

You will thank yourself when you meet your goal, and then you’ll be wanting to set a new one.

 

Talk to me! Tell me what you’re planning on doing and how you’ll go about achieving it. I’m here and listening.

As always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy, Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

Me, right after amputation. I actually had my surgery right before Christmas.

 

Me now. Happier, healthier, and moving! Just like I wanted, and everything I’d hoped for!

What are YOUR goals?

Rock Bottom Isn’t Really Rock Bottom

Rock Bottom Isn’t Really Rock Bottom

Finding Joy in the Hard Moments

My joy and why I do what I do.

So not everyday is roses.  It may seem like that if you check out some people’s social media.  Don’t buy it!  We all struggle, and we all go through valleys.  I’m smiling in the photo above because I am surrounded by the people I love, doing something we love- together.  Today, however, as I put on my prosthetic, I realized it didn’t feel right.  As I started walking on it I was noticing that I was already hitting the bone at the end of my residual limb on the inside of my socket.  I tried to “walk it off” by literally grabbing my backpack and heading out for a walk, only to realize I just couldn’t make it to the end of my block!

DEFEAT!

That’s what was going through my head.  Then, “what if I never get back the level of activity I had last year!?”

ENOUGH! This talk was helping no one.  That’s when I decided to share my journey with you.  To put it all out there and show that even when it appears all is going well, that sometimes it’s just not.  And for me to give up on an activity is really saying something….especially me sharing that I gave up.

It has to be known, that all of us fall victim to self-doubt, or giving up, or fears.  We are all human, after all.  What makes each one of us different is what we do after we fall.  Do you sit and wallow in self-pity, looking for external things and people to give you strength and value? Or do you pick yourself back up and try again when you’re ready?

How we approach the hard times will inevitably be what helps us succeed on our journey called life, or fall short and make us struggle every time things don’t go our way.

I want to see you all rise up, challenge yourself, and succeed!  You need to believe in yourself. Believe you ARE strong enough, and make life what you want it to be.

You can do it! Rise up!  Here I am on a great day.
This is where I want to be, this is my goal!

 

 

 

This week stay positive! I know, easier said than done at times. Find something that you CAN do and go do it. Be outside, let the sunshine and Fall weather bring you joy, energy, and some inner peace.  Do something that makes you laugh, and release those positive chemicals in your body.  Don’t sit back and ponder all the negatives, that won’t do you, or anyone around you, any good.  You deserve more! You deserve better!!

 

I’m here for you!  Let me know how you’re doing.

 

And remember, as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

Sometimes how I feel about my leg!🤣

 

 

What is Your Why?

What is Your Why?

What drives you forward when you hit hard times?

 

 

When days get hard we look to find purpose, I think that’s human nature. Somedays we fall short of finding what gets us up and motivated.  Today, after a very hard hike in the heat and my prosthetic rubbing my leg raw, I pushed myself to a point that I wasn’t sure I’d make it back to the car but when I did, I sat there and looked at my husband and right then, in midst of my pain and exhaustion, I saw my purpose very clearly.

 

My husband, and my ‘Why’, up at Young Life camp serving with me.

 

For me, I need to see my purpose, daily.  I know that it is what drives me forward, to work through the pain, to try new things- even if I fail.  My two sons, they are my purpose, as well.  They have seen me go through hard times, seen me struggle, and seen my victories.  They were there for it all and were 2 amazing supports, even at a young age.  They kept me going and striving for more.

My ‘Why’
My boys, supporting one another, as well.

Life is better when you figure out your purpose.  And when hard times come, and they will, knowing your purpose, the “why” in your life, then you’ll be prepared and ready to fight the battles.  You are not alone, you are loved. Find your ‘why’ and watch your circumstances and attitude shift.

 

 

Simply put: your call to action this week is to soul search and figure out what you’re living for, what you get up in the morning for, what puts a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

Spend time in a quiet location and really search your heart.  Once you figure out what your purpose is, write it down and place it somewhere you can see it everyday.  If it’s someone in your life, put a picture near your bedside and remember what you’re doing this all for.  When I decided to amputate, I made a vision board to show me things I wanted to get back to or do again after I healed. I also had pictures of my boys, my husband and my siblings on my board… my why’s were there watching me and helping remember why I chose to go through this.

It’s motivating to find your purpose.  You can do this and you will figure it out.  Do it now! Don’t wait until you are searching and feel like you’re drowning in pain and turmoil.  Have your ‘Why’ ready for when those moments strike. You’ll be prepared and ready to tackle the valleys when they arise.

 

This is what I live for!

 

He is my future.

 

What is YOUR ‘Why’?

 

As always;

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Get a Grip

Get a Grip

Dealing with Phantom Pains, Part 2

As a continuation to last week’s podcast on Phantom Pain, and how my faith has helped me through, I thought I would add in other ways you can try to deal with these inevitable pains we go through, as amputees.

If you experience phantom pains you know how unpleasant and downright horrible they can be. They can mess with your head, bring you down, and keep you from sleep.  They don’t discriminate, and if you’ve never had them, be forewarned, you could still have them rear up even years down the road.  My prosthetist, who is also an above knee amputee, has been an amputee for 20+ years, and just last week experienced them for the first time, and the full blown kind.  It amazes me that no one is safe from experiencing them, in one form or another, and at any given time in their amputee life.

Which brings me to the point I tried to make in the last podcast, and will, again, reiterate it here:

You need to learn to deal with these pains, realizing that they come and go, no one is safe from them, and your mindset about them will ultimately determine how you push through (or not), to rise up and continue on with your life.  They may knock you down, but they don’t have to destroy you.

In this podcast I discuss many different ways you can help yourself deal with them, but ultimately, I believe you need to become really strong, mentally and emotionally, to win each battle, when they come.

 

Listen in to this week’s podcast and see what might be able help you the next time phantom pains strike.  And they will….. will you be ready to take on the battle?

 

 

Do some research. Understand your options. Research neurotransmitters.  Understand that what works for one person may not work for you so be open to that possibility and don’t be afraid to keep trying different options.  And remember, the more you understand that phantom pains are a part of your journey, the more capable you will be with overcoming them, and not being defeated by them, when they do arise.

Put on your big girl boots and push through!
I’m a “Mind over Matter” kinda girl.

 

I believe being outside and staying active helps me push through bouts of phantom pain. How about you?

 

Remember, you are not alone. and you CAN and WILL make it through it.

 

As always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Abracadabra

Abracadabra

Phantoms and Serving Others: How do they fit together?

 

Ok, so maybe it’s not THAT easy to rid yourself of phantom pains, but it does help.

 

SERVING.

When we distract our minds then we can free ourselves, even temporarily, from pain.  So why not help others while you help yourself?  I can’t think of anything better than serving where I’m needed, helping someone else out, while I get an opportunity to keep so busy that I don’t think about my own problems.

Six years ago my oldest son started to go part-time to a Christian school here in the valley. I found out that they go up to Williams, AZ to Lost Canyon Young Life camp every Fall and always need parent volunteers and I thought I could help.  I knew no one and I was actually already struggling with knee pain and surgeries, but I thought what better way to meet new people and distract myself from my own misery.

To say that this was life-changing for me would be an understatement!  I meant fantastic new people, made great friends, grew in my Faith (which proved to be invaluable as amputation time came), and I helped the school fill a need.  Did my knee hurt? You betcha!  Did I notice it while I served? Not as much as if I had sat around and felt sorry for myself.

You see, when we sit around with an idle mind we, as humans, tend to dwell on our hardships.  We let that inner voice go from positive to negative in a heartbeat.  Who needs that?  It doesn’t help your situation or circumstance and actually makes you miserable to be around.

As the years passed, and so did my years of being at this retreat, I learned something about myself.  I use activity to take my mind off my own problems, pains, and worries.  Retreat became more of a saving grace for me, while I blessed our students.  Who would’ve know? And then that became the key to me pushing through pain, and eventually phantom pain. You see, phantom pain is not “real, physical” pain but nerves that don’t know what to do with the signals being sent out.  In this case there isn’t a lot we can do  to “physically” curb those feelings, we must dig deeper and address them through our mind.  Training our brain to function differently now that we are missing a limb.

If I find myself being active, in a new place with beautiful surroundings, I am more apt to move past my pains and focus on the good around me.  Take a look at where I was this past week in the pictures below:

Iron Horse Worship Center

 

The grounds are so clean and beautiful, and the weather is so much cooler than Phoenix.

 

The magnificent dining hall I have served in for the past 6 years.
This year was my last as my youngest is a senior. It was hard to say good-bye.😥

In a world were there is so much need for servers, and volunteers, why not get out and do something good while you reap the benefits of distracting yourself from your own pain AND doing good?  Also, whenever I spend time serving others I notice that I am riding on a cloud for weeks following my serving.  There is something so magical about helping others through our own valleys.  Try it!  You may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

 

Oh, by the way, did I mention the night skies?  Awe-inspiring is all I can say!

 

 

 

It’s simple, like magic and a slight of the hand:

 

Serve others before yourself.

Give of yourself and watch how God work in and through you.

 

Abracadabra, let your pain go, use distraction, and like magic, you can have some peace from your pain.

Find a way to get involved in your community. Give to someone else that’s hurting or worse of then you, believe me, there is always someone who is struggling with more than what you are. Find what’s good about your life, your circumstance, and then use that fuel to help others. You will be glad you did.

 

And as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

Fit As A Fiddle-Ha!

Fit As A Fiddle-Ha!

Prosthetics 101-Part 2  Fitting

Getting my fitting checked with Randy. (@limbmaster)

 

No matter how many questions I asked and how many people I talked to prior to amputation, no one can help you understand the things you don’t even know to ask in the first place…. for example, I knew it would take time, about 2 years, for my residual limb to shrink, change, and mature. What I didn’t know was that what I ate the day before may make my socket not fit the next morning, or that losing weight and gaining weight can be detrimental to a good fitting socket!  Oh, I’m learning that now, boy am I ever!! But it’s these moments that I hope my journey will help someone else navigate their own. It’s not something I would have even thought about asking someone before my amputation, but it’s definitely a factor in why so many amputees are struggling to fit well into their sockets.

My newest socket that’s almost ready for pick up! No more excuses!💪🏼

 

This socket is one of the many I have had made for me and my ever-changing limb. It truly is a journey, and one that you need to embrace and wrap your head around. Once you go through an amputation you won’t be problem or pain free. You will have ups and downs, good days and bad. It’s how you handle them that counts, and understanding your own body is vitally important for you to get the best fit for your socket.  Being able to accurately communicate what is going on with your fit, to your prosthetist, will help him or her make the best socket, and adjustments, for you. Also, if you know where you want your body weight to be, and hold yourself accountable, that will also help eliminate issues with fitting into your leg as well.

I wish I had known that in the beginning, but I’m glad I understand that now. I am more aware of changes to my body and therefore able to comprehend what’s going on with my fit. Sometimes it’s just what it is, and my limb is changing and maturing the further out from surgery I get. Other times, it’s on me and whether I’m eating well, or exercising too much or not enough. Self-awareness is vital to your fit, and your fit is vital to your overall health. If you aren’t fitting well into your socket then you’ll be more apt to give up and not wear it, thus causing you to become more unhealthy and that in turn can really bring you down, emotionally.  See how your fit can effect the other areas of your life?

Check out this podcast as I delve into some issues I’ve been having and how I am correcting them. Also, you can check out my You Tube channel for my video podcasts and other videos on exercise,

Before you go, subscribe to my site so you won’t miss an episode!

 

This week I want you to start making goals and sticking to them.

*Set a specific day AND time to weigh yourself, weekly.

*Decide where you want to be with your weight and start working towards that.

*Baby steps- start making good habits with exercise. Maybe start with simple pushups and do what you can. The next day do the same if not one more, and so on. Also, don’t forget about your core! A strong core will make walking easier and help you avoid other issues like a bad back or sore hip.

*Track what you eat! work on having a calorie deficit, if you want to lose weight, or set a calorie intake for the day and stick to it. It’s ok to have something you love, once in a while. Total restriction isn’t fun nor beneficial. This is NOT a diet but a change in your thinking. Accountability is key to seeing this through. Use an app for calorie counting, it’s so much easier that way. I use the app Lose It! and have for several years now.

*Remember, it’s a journey. It won’t happen over night and give yourself some grace when you fall down. Get back up and continue to move forward. You can do this!!

Reach out to me if you have any questions. I’m happy to help and here for you.

Follow me on Instagram at @BAWarrior360

 

As always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!

 

Much love and happy exercising,

Angie

Prosthetics 101: Part 1

Prosthetics 101: Part 1

In the beginning….

This is me, with Randy West, in my first prosthetic and 50 lbs heavier! Yikes!!

 

This picture is hard for me to look at. I had been through years of surgeries and being laid up. I wasn’t active at all because I couldn’t. I was either in surgery, elevating my knee from surgery, in PT, or in just too much pain. Sadly, my mental game took as big of a hit as my physical game. I was starting to worry that my physical health was going to continue to decline and never be good again, but my prosthetist, Randy, knew that I wanted more out of life and so he and I worked so very hard to get the best fitting socket I could get so I could get out and become active once again…after all, I hurt myself going for my 2nd degree black belt. I was actually in great shape when I got hurt.

Deciding on amputation wasn’t an easy decision but I am so glad I did it. Not only did it save me from becoming even heavier and more unhealthy, it saved my mental and emotional life, as well.  I am so very happy now, even when my days are long and hard, even when my socket isn’t fitting just right, and even through phantom pain, I can say, without a doubt I made the right choice, for me, and I am stronger, healthier and happier then I had been.

Me now.  What a huge difference, and I was able to achieve a healthier physique as an amputee!

 

I want that for you, too! And you can have that kind of life. You can find happiness and joy, peace and health, laughter and activity. It really does come down to just a few key things to get you on your way. Attitude, perseverance, choices.  These key elements can turn a lot around for you and me. No, it won’t take away your challenges and struggles, but it WILL help you cope and rise above them.

Listen in today as I talk about the first 2 years of my amputation journey and what you might not expect to happen and how I’ve dealt with those low moments so I can continue to rise everyday and make my life worth living.

You can also watch my podcasts on my YouTube channel HERE.

 

 

This week I want you to LAUGH! Find ways to make laughter part of your healthy routine. Watch a funny movie, hang out with fun friends, read cartoons or watch silly, short animal videos on your phone with your family. I know you’ll feel better about yourself and your situation if you make time to relax and enjoy life. Give yourself that. Allow yourself to be happy.

Have an amazing week… and on that note,

This was the very first day I brought my leg home! My boys have such great sense of humor!🤣

 

Until next week:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love and happiness,

Angie

 

 

 

 

The Journey Called Life

The Journey Called Life

Have Grace With Yourself Through Life’s Ups and Downs

The valleys in life allow us to see the beauty of the mountain tops

 

Moving has been the focus of my every moment this past 3-4 weeks and it has been exhausting. I have pushed myself to the max to get things unpacked and to make our new house look like a home. I have rubbed my residual limb raw, created some serious pains that have taken my breathe away, and made my “good leg” ache with all the work it has done to compensate for the lack of not having another limb. With all the craziness of life I have ignored the fit of my socket, until now. I am finally getting fit for a new socket and am excited with the idea of a closer fit, but anxious with having to cope with a new fit that will inevitably cause pains as I adapt to it.

With the good comes the bad. With the highs come the lows, and life is a journey. We must always remember that life isn’t a sprint but a marathon. I need to remember that. I can get impatient at times, and frustrated by the problems and set backs I encounter on a day to day/week to week basis.

I need to remember to stop and smell the roses( or in my case, today, sunflowers), and enjoy the journey. Today was one of those days when everything just came to a head for me, emotionally, and I got so angry and frustrated. You know, the kind of emotion that makes you want to give up and take a nap…. or stress eat!

I’m proud of myself, I did neither! Instead I went through with recording my podcast. Take a listen to hear what happened today that put me in a tail spin. As I spoke to you all about it, I realized that I am truly blessed with my life and that “this too, shall pass”.  I must learn to have grace with the world, the people around me, and myself.  I believe we have these moments to remind ourselves of all the good that is in our life. Without the valleys how can we appreciate the mountain tops? I sometimes forget how good my life is and how blessed I am. I need to remind myself to be grateful, even through the problems.

I hope you can see how blessed you are with who and what you have in your life, even when things aren’t so perfect. If we can just see the positives we can eliminate stressors that can harm our health.  Our attitude and outlook on our life can create a healthy life or make us sick.  Being unhappy, grouchy, and angry can really harm our health and  destroy our recovery from sickness or surgery. Try positivity. You might be surprised on how great you’ll start feeling AND you’ll also see the world change, for the better, all around you, all because of how you carry yourself. I don’t see myself as disabled or handicapped. I like to smile at people who look at me, staring at my leg. When I smile and they smile back then I know they see me for ME, then a chain  reaction occurs, of happy vibes…. at least in my life and at my house.  Try it!! The world needs more positive vibes- why not be the person who starts it? Be the change!

 

 

Today’s Call to Action:
Write down 5 things that you are grateful for. Maybe it’s people in your life, or your pet. Maybe its the health you DO enjoy, or a memory. Maybe it’s simply that cup of coffee with a friend or that moment you had to watch the sunset. Just be thankful! Then post your list somewhere that you can see it everyday. Maybe on your mirror in your bathroom, or next to your bed at night.

Better yet, can you write 5 things for which you are grateful for 7 days in a row?

Send me a message and tell me what you are grateful for. Our gratefulness is contagious!

I am grateful for each of you!! Thank you for reading, listening, and following my journey!

 

And as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

A little bit of sunshine to make me smile

 

Much love and admiration,

Angie