Tag: perseverance

Self-Preservation

Self-Preservation

Knowing Your Limits: When to Hold and When to Push Onward

 

I’m recording this episode from a place that looks very different than my usual setup. We’re away on a family getaway that was supposed to be a snowy ski vacation, but when I look outside, all I see are brown mountains and sunshine. Not exactly the winter wonderland we imagined. Still, we’re here, together, enjoying the time, and as the year winds down and the holidays rush in, I felt like this was the perfect moment to pause and share something that’s been sitting heavy—and meaningful—on my heart.

As you know, I tend to share lessons I’m actively learning myself, and this week’s lesson came straight from the ski slopes. I ski as an amputee. I ski on one leg, using outriggers, and while it looks empowering and inspiring in photos and videos, the truth is that it is anything but easy. Every single time I clip in, no matter how long I’ve been doing this, I still get butterflies. I still hope my body will hold up. I still pray for the best outcome and for enough strength to get me down the mountain safely.

I’ve always been someone who pushes hard. When I lost my leg in December of 2018, I got my first prosthetic in late March and barely had time to adjust before we were headed on a family ski trip in April. I had planned to sit on the sidelines, but I told my husband early on that I wanted to try skiing as an amputee. That trip was my first time learning to ski as a three-tracker—one ski on my sound leg and two outriggers with tiny skis on the ends. It was intense. It demanded everything from my good leg, my core, my upper body, and my mental focus.

 

 

Fast forward to now, and while I have more experience, I also have more wisdom. Yesterday, I went out for my first run of this trip, and it was a long one. I chose a blue run instead of the easier option, and I pushed myself hard. I made it down without falling, and I was proud of that—but my body was absolutely fried. My quad, calf, foot arch, hands, and shoulders were screaming. My grip on the outriggers was barely there, and I knew that if I went again, fatigue could turn into injury.

The old version of me—five or six years ago—would have pushed through anyway. I would have ignored the warning signs and kept going. But yesterday, something different happened. I looked at my husband and said, “I’m done. I want to end on a high note.” And that was enough. Self-preservation won, and for the first time in a long time, I listened to my body without guilt.

 

 

That decision mattered more than I realized in the moment. Because what I’m learning—and what I want you to hear—is that your best in this moment doesn’t have to be your best ever. Your best is enough when it honors where you are right now. Strength isn’t always pushing harder. Sometimes strength is knowing when to stop.

As amputees, our bodies are constantly negotiating limits. When you rely on one good leg, you have to be mindful of how far you push before fatigue compromises safety. Yesterday, my head wanted more, but my body was very clear: this was enough. And instead of feeling defeated, I chose to feel proud.

What you don’t see in highlight videos is the pain, the fear, the intense focus it takes to stay upright and in control. You don’t see the internal battle between wanting to prove yourself and needing to protect yourself. And that’s something I think so many of us struggle with—especially when we compare ourselves to others or even to past versions of ourselves.

This year, I’m not the same person I was last spring when I was in great shape, hitting the gym, and doing one-legged squats. I had revision surgery this summer. I’ve been learning a new socket, adapting to a new prosthetic, and giving my body time to heal. That meant less time training and more time resting. And while rest came at the cost of muscle mass and endurance, it also gave me other gifts—healing, reflection, time at home, time with my animals, and space to process everything my body has been through.

We are not static beings. Even with the same injury, we are different depending on the season of life we’re in. And during the holidays especially, it’s easy to beat yourself up for not doing “enough.” But the truth is, everyone’s circumstances are different. Some of you can’t get to the gym. Some of you are waiting on a fitting, a surgery, or relief from pain. Some days, just breathing is the win—and that is okay.

 

 

I know amputees who avoid connecting with others because they feel like they’re falling short. My message to you is this: do what you can with what you have, where you are. Comparison steals joy and progress. The valley you’re in right now does not dictate the rest of your life.

If you’re disappointed in yourself because you know you can do more and you’re choosing not to, then have that honest conversation with yourself and start shifting your mindset. Change the internal dialogue. Set goals. Dream again. But if you’re in a season of healing, pain, or waiting, give yourself grace. This moment is not permanent.

Yesterday, I skied one run—and that one run was enough. I walked away proud, safe, and encouraged instead of broken down and discouraged. Tomorrow, I’ll go out again with confidence and clarity. And when spring comes, I know exactly what I need to do to be stronger.

Being an amputee is hard. Some days are brutal. But you are not failing because you rest, and you are not weak because you pause. Be proud of where you are. Be proud of your scars. Know that you are doing the best you can with the situation you’ve been given—and that is enough.

This season will pass. Keep moving forward. Keep honoring your body. And remember, the warrior within you doesn’t disappear when you slow down—it grows wiser.

I hope you have a beautiful holiday season. And I’ll be back again soon before this year comes to a close.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

The Gift of Being Present

The Gift of Being Present

Finding Purpose and Joy In This Season

 

 

We’re deep into December, and the Christmas spirit is everywhere—homes decorated with lights, the smell of cookies, gatherings, endless lists of to-dos. This time of year is magical, but it’s also overwhelming. We often rush from task to task, trying to make everything perfect, and before we know it, Christmas comes and goes in a blur. Every year, I remind myself: Be present. Really be in the moment. And yet, like so many of us, I still catch myself speeding through the season, missing the beauty right in front of me.

Last week, I shared about Limbs for Humanity, an incredible organization heading to Rocky Point Medical Clinic with 53 prosthetics—most of them above-knee—for 49 people, including a few bilateral amputees. They work tirelessly and always need help, whether through donations, volunteering, or supplying prosthetic parts. I encourage anyone listening to learn more, especially during this season of giving, because providing someone the gift of mobility is life-changing—not just for them, but for everyone around them.

 

Some recepients of the generosity of Limbs For Humanity

 

But today’s episode shifts from giving in a material way to giving with your presence. And this message hit me hard after hosting my annual Christmas cookie exchange. Every year I throw two big gatherings—one for Halloween, which I love, and one for the holidays with my cookie exchange. This year my home was filled with gorgeous faces, familiar laughter, new friends I hadn’t seen in years, women who traveled across town because they wanted to be part of something meaningful and joyful. I spent days creating handmade crafts—because I love creating in bulk and making unique gifts for people—but what filled my soul wasn’t the crafts, or the cookies, or the decorations. It was the simple act of seeing people show up.

 

Friends and the Power of Connections

Making gifts brings me joy and keeps me active and positive on harder days

 

 

 

There’s something incredibly powerful about people choosing to be present, especially during one of the busiest months of the year. And that’s when it clicked for me: as much as we talk about being present during the holidays, it’s the very thing we often lose our grip on the fastest.

Being present doesn’t erase the pain, struggles, or discomfort—especially for amputees. As amputees, we know there’s rarely a day when something in our body isn’t weird, uncomfortable, painful, or frustrating. Phantom pain hits out of nowhere. The socket might feel too tight, too loose, too heavy, too something. Sometimes sitting on the couch at night feels uncomfortable. Sometimes the good leg takes a beating and we’re reminded of how much pressure it carries. Pain is real, and it can take center stage quickly.

But being present doesn’t mean focusing on the pain of the moment—it means choosing what part of the moment gets your attention.

Yes, we can distract ourselves. I do it all the time: I hit the gym, work on crafts, visit my horses, pour myself into hobbies, or push through discomfort because I refuse to let it control me. But there’s a difference between distraction and presence. Distraction removes us from the moment; presence anchors us in it.

Presence says: Yes, I hurt—but I’m still here. Yes, this is hard—but there is beauty in this moment too.

 

 

 

And this is where so many amputees get stuck. We become hyper-aware of how we feel… constantly. How does this feel now? What about now? Is this getting worse? Is this going to ruin the day? We begin measuring moments by levels of pain rather than levels of joy. And that traps us in waiting mode—waiting for a better moment instead of living the one we’re in.

But the present is a gift—that’s why it’s called the present. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We are not even guaranteed the next hour. What we do have is right now. And as long as we have breath in our lungs, we have purpose.

Standing in my son’s house reminded me of that purpose. I could have been home completing my own tasks or sticking to my routine. Instead, I was called to be here, helping my son and daughter-in-law get their home set up, making their day easier, giving them peace of mind. That, in itself, was a gift—to them, and honestly, to me. Being present for the people we love is one of the simplest and most profound ways to live with meaning.

And presence doesn’t only apply to amputee life—it applies to every human being. Some of us are grieving this holiday season. Some of us have lost loved ones. Some are struggling emotionally, financially, physically, or spiritually. Pain doesn’t discriminate. But presence invites us to look up from our pain, anxiety, and fear and notice the good that still surrounds us.

Because even if your situation feels grim, you cannot tell me there is nothing good in your life worth living for. There is always something: someone who loves you, someone you can help, something you can create, something you can smile about, someone who needs your presence.

This weekend showed me how deeply blessed I am. The hugging, the laughter, the conversations over food and wine—it reminded me that becoming an amputee wasn’t a curse. In many ways, it awakened the warrior within me. It gave me new eyes, a wider heart, and a deeper understanding of what truly matters.

And that’s what I want for anyone struggling today. You might feel broken. You might feel alone. You might feel overwhelmed. Maybe this is the first Christmas without someone you love. Maybe the pain feels louder than the joy. Maybe your spirit feels tired.

But listen closely:

You woke up today.

You have breath in your lungs.

You have purpose.

You have power.

You have the ability to make someone’s day better.

And that means you have the ability to change your own.

 

 

Your call to action this week is simple and profound:

Do something positive for someone else.

Hold a door.

Smile at a stranger.

Bake cookies for a neighbor.

Call a friend.

Visit someone who’s struggling.

Offer kindness wherever you go.

Because when you do something for others, you fill your own bucket. You lift yourself by lifting others. You step out of your own pain and into purpose. And you never know whose life you might touch—or how deeply they might need exactly what only you can offer.

So as we enter this holiday season—and as we prepare to step into a new year—remember this:

The present is a gift.

You are a gift.

Your life is a gift.

And the world needs what only you can bring.

Be present.

Be joyful.

Be intentional.

Be a warrior.

And above all—live for the moment!

 

Have a beautifully “present” week this week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Pain, Perseverance & Possibility

Pain, Perseverance & Possibility

A Thanksgiving Message For Anyone Struggling

 

Thanksgiving week always makes me pause, breathe, and step back into gratitude, but this year, that feeling hit me in a much deeper way. Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was the experience itself, or maybe it was because of everything that led me here—but this past week in Vegas reminded me exactly why I chose this life, and why I continue to push myself to live amplified, even when it hurts.

Our family goes to the Formula One races every year—this was our third—and while we love the energy, the cars, and the whole spectacle of it, it is absolutely not an easy environment for someone with mobility challenges. As an above-knee amputee, I’ve learned that accessibility can be a coin toss on a good day. Vegas during F1 weekend takes that to a whole different level. Elevators that don’t work. Escalators that suddenly shut down. Crowds compressed shoulder to shoulder. Long detours around track barriers. Rain. Stairs. More stairs.

 

 

But this year came with a twist. Not only did we pack in a full day of walking, navigating the Strip, dodging people, climbing stairs, and exploring all the fanfare, but that night, after all of that, I finally checked off something that had been sitting on my bucket list for years: going to a Vegas nightclub.

And I didn’t just go. I went all in—heels, dancing, crowds, the whole thing.

What made the night more meaningful was the backdrop of everything my body was going through. My newest socket, trimmed higher because I’d lost some femur during surgery, still hasn’t fully broken in. The rubbing along my groin becomes a four-inch strip of fire by the end of the day, the kind of raw, stinging pain that makes even a shower burn. Think blister-on-your-heel level pain, except in a place you can never bandage. Add rain, cold weather, slick sidewalks, and 36,000 steps—the most I’ve ever walked in a single day even when I had two legs—and you can imagine how I felt by the time we walked into the club.

But then the music hit. And the energy shifted. Surrounded by my husband and my kids—my favorite people—and swallowed up in the beat and the lights, I felt alive. Not amputee alive. Not “making the best of it” alive. Just fully, completely alive.

In that moment, I didn’t care that no one around me knew I was an amputee. I didn’t care that all my weight was sinking into my good foot, making my toes tingle with pressure. I didn’t care that I had a raw mark on my inner thigh or that I was balancing on heels after a marathon day of movement. I was simply living the moment I had dreamed of for years.

And when I finally got home, when I finally took my leg off and felt that flood of relief wash over my whole body, I laid in bed and thought, “This… this is why I chose amputation.” I didn’t take my leg off to watch life happen from the sidelines. I didn’t choose this path to let pain, friction, or inconvenience dictate my happiness. I chose it to reclaim my life. And nights like that one remind me why I fought so hard to get here.

But here’s the part I don’t ever want people to misunderstand: none of this is easy. I’ve had people say I make it look effortless, or that they shouldn’t complain about their injuries because I “went through so much worse.” But I don’t see it that way. I don’t compare. I don’t downplay anyone’s struggle. And I definitely don’t wake up immune to the hard parts of this life. What I do wake up with is a mindset that says:

I chose this path, so I’m going to show up for it.

That mindset is the difference between living fully and shrinking back from life. It doesn’t mean there aren’t setbacks. There absolutely are. I have blisters. I have raw skin. I have days where I struggle to put my leg on. I have moments where the socket fit isn’t perfect. I have times where the thought of stairs makes my stomach drop. But the alternative—the idea of sitting in a hotel room, letting my family go off and make memories without me—is far more painful than any physical friction I deal with.

That’s why I said no when my husband offered to get me a wheelchair. Not because I’m stubborn, but because while I can, I will. There may be a day when I truly need one. But that day is not today. Today, I push. Today, I build stamina, strength, grit, and resilience. Today, I invest in the future version of myself who might not have the option anymore.

That’s the heart of this whole experience—and the message I want to share this Thanksgiving.

Life will never hand us perfect circumstances. Pain, obstacles, loss, grief, inconvenience—these things don’t discriminate. But neither does opportunity. If you want something badly enough, whether it’s dancing in a nightclub, traveling, adventuring, walking that extra mile, or simply showing up to life with your whole heart, then you owe it to yourself to try. You owe it to yourself to dream. And you owe it to yourself to change the mindset that tells you “I can’t.”

Because “I can’t” is almost always a lie.

“I can’t right now” is more accurate—and far more temporary.

 

 

So this week, I invite you to sit with two things:

First, gratitude.

Not just the obvious stuff—family, home, health—but the deeper gratitude for the strength you didn’t know you had and the moments you didn’t think you’d get to experience.

Second, possibility.

What do you dream of doing? What do you secretly hope you’re brave enough to try? What have you convinced yourself is off-limits?

Write it down.

Name it.

Claim it.

Then take one step—just one—toward it.

Because if a tired, rain-soaked, blistered amputee can take 36,000 steps in a day, climb broken escalators, dance in heels until almost 2 a.m., and fall asleep smiling…

Then you can take one step toward the life you want, too.

 

 

 

Here’s to you and a beautiful Thanksgiving with loved ones.

May you find joy in the moment and gratitude in the little things!

Until next time,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

Fittings and Sockets and Legs, Oh My!

Fittings and Sockets and Legs, Oh My!

Traveling The Yellow Brick Road of Amputee Life

 

In this episode, I want to talk about one of the biggest learning curves after limb loss — getting fitted for a prosthesis. Nobody really tells you how challenging this part can be. You think, “Okay, I’ll get my prosthetic leg or arm, strap it on, and get back to life.” But if only it were that simple, right? The truth is, it’s a process — one that takes time, patience, and a whole lot of communication with your prosthetist.

When I first started, I honestly thought it was going to be pretty straightforward. They’d take some measurements, make the socket, I’d try it on, and off I’d go. But wow, did I learn quickly that’s not how it works. Every limb is unique. Every body changes — sometimes from morning to night. So that “perfect fit” we all hope for doesn’t just happen once and stay that way. It’s something that evolves.

And that means working with your prosthetist becomes this back-and-forth relationship. There’s a lot of give and take involved. They’re the experts in design and fit, but you are the expert in how it feels — and that matters just as much.

Now, I’ll admit — in the beginning, I had my fair share of frustration. When the socket rubbed wrong or my limb was sore, I’d get upset and think, “Why isn’t this working?” It was easy to blame the prosthesis or think the prosthetist did something wrong. But with time, I started realizing there was a little user error in there too. Sometimes I wasn’t putting it on right. Sometimes I didn’t pay attention to small aches that turned into bigger problems. And sometimes… I just didn’t know what I didn’t know.

That’s a big part of this journey — learning to take accountability where it’s due. Not in a shameful way, but in an empowering way. Once we start owning our part in the process, things really start improving. We ask more questions. We write down what we are feeling. We pay attention to pressure spots and skin changes. And most importantly, we communicate all of that clearly with our prosthetist.

Change happens!

Teamwork and communication are key!

 

Because here’s the thing — they can’t feel what you feel. They can’t fix what they don’t know about. So, if something doesn’t feel right, say it. Speak up. Be honest, even if it feels awkward. That’s how you get the best outcome.

If you’re new to being an amputee, remember this: it’s okay to not have it all figured out. You’re learning. This whole process — from fitting to comfort to walking confidently again — it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You’ll get there. Just keep showing up, keep asking questions, and keep working with your prosthetist as a team.

Because at the end of the day, this isn’t just about a prosthesis fitting right — it’s about you finding your rhythm again, your confidence, your life.

You are a warrior! It’s time to unleash that warrior and gain back your independence.

Have a beautiful week ahead, and as always,

Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!

Much love,

Take the Drive-Roll Down the Windows

Take the Drive-Roll Down the Windows

Enjoying Your Life RIGHT NOW

 

“Want to go for a drive?”

This simple phrase sends my pups into a frenzy! Their excitement is overflowing and their  joy is tangible!

This energy is what we should be living for each day, but when we are struggling we find ourselves consumed and can only see the problems, to the positives.

I remember coming back home after losing my mom. I had spent a full month back in Illinois helping my family navigate our loss and returning to my life here in Arizona seemed surreal. My mom and I were best friends, I called her everyday, mostly just for small talk but she was a great listener in times of need. I vividly remember one day, not long after the funeral, driving in my car and thinking, “I need to call monad tell her about….” when my heart dropped and I realized for the first time that she wasn’t ever going to be there again for my call. At that moment I felt the whole world must see the tears streaming down my face and hear my heart ripping in two. At the red light I looked to my left and to my right at the cars on either side of me. I knew they had to be seeing my pain, wondering what could be making me this sad, but instead I saw people in their own world, signing along to music, talking on their phone, laughing with their friends. No one saw my pain! They were living their life, and my life was at a stand still.

That was the moment that I realized that no matter what I was going thro9ugh, the world kept going, the hours kept passing, the days kept moving forward.

I have never felt so alone in my sorrow as I did in that split second at a red light.

What I learned was that no matter what was happening in my life, the world kept turning and I was there and I had purpose.

I firmly believe that each morning I wake and have breath in my lungs that I am to serve a purpose. That is the day when my thinking changed and for the better. Yes, I need to deal with my pain, but I cannot let it run my life and destroy my and my goals.

Even when things had hit rock bottom for me, with my mom’s passing, I had a family, healthy sons, a loving husband, my father. I may have had a bum leg, but I also had creativity, energy, drive, and passion.

 

My dogs, here,  just living in the present. No looking back and no worrying about tomorrow.

My point: No matter what struggles we face in life, we have even more things to be grateful for. We have people in our lives worth fighting for, and we have PURPOSE!

So often we forget to find joy in the simple things, especially when we feel frustrated, in pain, or fearful, but they are still their, it’s just that our focus has shifted away from good and positive to negativity and al that is falling apart.

This week, I want you to find your joy again. I want you to see past your pain and struggles and find the purpose joy my dogs find in an open window on a drive. Find the beauty in the little things and count your blessings!

 

 

This week our battlecry is simple: Seek the positive and blessings in your life.

Find joy in the small things, don’t allow negativity, pain, and fear to derail you so much that you forget to see all the good around you.

This is a choice, and one we must profess everyday, lest we forget.

Be strong, dear warriors, and find your purpose and passion.

This valley will end, as all cycles do in life, just don’t sit their waiting for the struggle to end to find happiness, you must seek it now, and when you do you will find that your situation won’t feel as bleak and hope will rise up in you.

 

So get after it and seek the positive.

Don’t wait to enjoy the drive.

Get out there, roll down those windows and let the wind hit your face. I bet you’ll feel more alive than ever and find inspiration in your life once again.

I pray you find joy in the little things this week and until next time,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Live courageously! Live in the present!

 

 

Despite The Circumstances

Despite The Circumstances

Navigating Life When It Falls Off The Rails

 

Sometimes life takes a turn you never saw coming. One moment everything feels steady, predictable, maybe even comfortable — and then suddenly, the tracks shift, and you’re left wondering how to move forward. As an amputee, I’ve had my share of moments where life completely fell off the rails. Moments that tested not just my strength, but my heart.

Let’s talk about what it really feels like when life doesn’t go the way you hoped, and how I’ve learned to keep a positive heart posture even in the middle of the mess. I’ll share the honest truth — that staying positive isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about choosing, every single day, to look for the light even when the darkness feels closer. It’s about deciding to see possibility instead of limitation, hope instead of defeat.

I talk about what helped me shift my mindset from frustration to faith, from “why me?” to “what now?” Because life isn’t about avoiding the derailments — it’s about how we respond when they happen. I’ve discovered that when we meet life with an open heart, even the hardest seasons can become our greatest teachers.

Having a positive heart posture doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days. It means you show up anyway. You breathe through the pain, you give yourself grace, and you keep moving forward — even if it’s just one step at a time. Through tears, laughter, and maybe a few tough lessons, I’ve learned that our strength isn’t built when everything’s going right; it’s built in the moments when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

My hope is that this episode reminds you that no matter where you are in your journey, you can start again. You can choose to rebuild, to believe, and to live with a heart that stays open to joy, even when life doesn’t go as planned. Because sometimes, when life falls off the rails, it’s just leading us to a new and unexpected destination — one that’s even more beautiful than before.

This week I want you to end your day writing down 3 things you are grateful for. Do this every day and see if it doesn’t help you shift your perspective and get you into a more positive mindset and heart posture. Who knows, this may become your new norm and a habit you carry through life!

Sometimes you’ll find it hard, in the midst of struggle, to see the positive but if you really search I know you can find 3 things that are positives in your life. Dig deep and search your heart.

I pray you have a blessed week ahead, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

Finding Success

Finding Success

Defining Success As An Amputee

 

 

 

What is success?

Can any one person define success for the world?

Of course not!

As an amputee we need to remember that. Success id what you make of your life and where you’ll find contentment and happiness behind what you do and accomplish.

For some of us it’s walking for the first time without assistance.

For others it’s wearing their prosthesis all day long.

And yet for others, it’s getting back to work, or the gym.

Facing fears has become our new norm. I remember, when I first got my leg, that every time I went walking inside or outside of my house I had fear well up inside of me and I had to battle it so it didn’t paralyze me and leave me stuck, immobile.

It takes time. It takes courage, but remember your journey is yours.

I know people see amputees walking around in the world like it’s a piece of cake but the reality is we all start over and learn to walk again. Some people charge forward determined to walk again while others are fearful and apprehensive to don their new leg and trust it.

It takes time. It takes practice.

 

This was my very first test socket, using parallel bars for support, and yes, I was scared!

 

So what’s the difference on those who walk and those who struggle?

First is mindset, the voice inside your head that is stubborn and tells you, “Yes, you can!” That’s a great voice to have, a positive one. Listen to that voice.

Second, those who find success not only have that positive mindset they also set goals with timelines/deadlines. They are determined to accomplish, despite fears (and yes, we have fears when trying new things, failing, picking ourselves up and trying again-that’s how we learn and improve).

Third, they don’t compare themselves to others. They find joy in their own accomplishments as they improve each day, whatever their goals may be.

What you CAN do are endless possibilities. Like the caterpillar, you need time to become that butterfly.

 

You can do whatever you put your mind too. However, make sure you are realistic with your goals and timelines. After amputation you may feel stuck or defeated because you had no idea how long healing would take, or how a socket would feel on your own flesh, or even how heavy it would be to manipulate because you got weak while you waited to heal.  Just because you were an amazing walker with 2 legs doesn’t mean post amputation is going to be like riding a bike (by the way, post amputation biking riding is also a new challenge, like everything else). You must relearn how to walk because it IS different than before.

Cut yourself some slack. Understand that fears are common and the only way to your goal will be through some of those fears.

But I can promise you, facing fears to reach your goals, no matter how big or small they are, will be one of the most rewarding things you’ll feel.

Just don’t give up. Dig deep and know you are capable. You may be needing to take baby steps to push through, but take them.

You will fail and you will fall, but that is how you learn. Pick yourself back up and go at it again, and again, and again.

 

Hiking is my favorite activity but is exhausting. The terrain is uncertain but I worked hard to be able to get to this point.

 

 

Let’s do this!

Change your mindset to positive mode!

Decide what you most want to achieve.

WRITE IT DOWN!

Set that goal and a plan on how to achieve it. If you want to wear your leg all day but aren’t wearing it at all now then start by saying: Day 1 I will wear it 2 hours around the house (use assistive devices if you are concerned) but wear it! Sit in it, stand in it, mosey around your house with it on. Day 2 wear it for more time, don’t take it off, even if you only wear it 10 minutes longer than yesterday you still improved! Continue on that path. Always adding more time, staying in it longer and walking where you are safe.

After a few days of doing this then you can set a realistic goal deadline to wearing it all day. Set that date!

This is how you achieve your goals, and this is how you will find YOUR success!

Also, success is NOT a straight line without setbacks. If you are having a bad day or the fit hurts, then you use that time to adjust, take a break, and then start again the next day. One setback does NOT mean you’ve failed, it means you are learning!

Keep going, Warrior!!!

You can do this, I know you can.

Remember, you are stronger than you know! Dig deep and find your inner warrior!!!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

The Journey of a Thousand Legs

The Journey of a Thousand Legs

Let’s Get Real

 

 

You’ve been through a lot. You had an amputation, you’ve healed, you’ve gotten fitted for your first socket.

Today you go in to put it all together and walk out the door and on with your life, right? Easy Peasy!

Yes! It’s the most exciting, most freeing day in an amputee’s life, for most people, however it doesn’t end there, and it doesn’t just magically take you back to “normal”.

Managing expectations and understanding how the journey is different for everyone will be helpful for your mental game.

First off, you need to understand that sockets make or break your experience with using a prosthesis. Just because you have the best foot or microprocessor knee (MPK) doesn’t mean you’ll be successful or walk better. Many aspects will factor in to how you handle your prosthesis.

 

Your prosthetist and his/her skills at listening to you, observing you and creating a socket that is best suited for you is so very important. Also important is your volume change, healing, and pain level.

Even if you have the best, most attentive prosthetist (like my guys, Randy and David at The Limb Center) who have created the most intimate socket for you, taking into account your contours and sensitivity, doesn’t mean that when you get your final socket you’ll be off and running. There are many aspects of those first 1-2 weeks of wearing the new socket that you will have to work through.

 

First, putting it on for the first time will take practice and more practice. Putting it on and off multiple times each morning wouldn’t be uncommon. It is not Lego pieces that snap together perfectly, your limb will conform  and fill your new socket better over time and your inner socket will mold to your limb over time and make it easier to put it on correctly the first time each morning.

Next, you will find that anything manmade isn’t perfect, even a remake of your test socket into a final socket, even though the same mold is used. This means that even if your test socket is feeling like the right fit, you’ll find that your final socket is a little different. It feels different, fits different, and can cause new rubs and rashes. It’s crazy, but by the end of my very first day in my brand new socket it was falling off….even though I was wearing my test sockets everyday, all day, for several weeks. My volume changed!

Finally, the best thing you can do is to continue to wear your socket to see what it’s doing, how it’s fitting, where it rubs or creates issues on your skin. My prosthetist always says 72 hours is a good gauge of how it REALLY is going to fit you. In 72 hours you can really test it and find how it functions in different situations and at different times of the day. Let’s face it, our bodies change throughout the day, and from day to day. To truly be able to communicate clearly what changes need to be made to your socket you have to put it to the test and make notes of what and where you are feeling things.

 

 

It would be so nice to receive your brand new leg and be off to the races but that is not reality for amputees. So many things can change and alter our fit, from one socket to the next, and from day to day and hour to hour. All you can do is learn patience and communicate clearly to your prosthetist so they know what you are feeling and what you need.

I went back to my guys two times, already, after wearing my brand new leg for 5 days.

This is a process. When you know this you can avoid some of the frustrations associated with socket fitting, and avoid feeling all alone in this journey. We all have some sort of adjustment to make once we get our “final”socket. And the fact is, when you are in your first 2-3 years post-amputation as soon as you get a socket you’ll have outgrown it so quickly that you’ll feel like you never even had a chance to really break it in and get use to it before it’s time for a new one.

 

This is a part of the journey of the 1000 legs, (at least that’s what it feels like).

My photo at the top is my actual sockets minus 6 ( a total of 18 in 6 years- most of those, probably about 15 where made in the first 3 years!)

Embrace the journey, be prepared for the time it takes and the process it takes to hone in to getting the best fit. Trust me, it’ll be worth it. When you get a great fit ti will make a world of difference.

 

 

Simple:

This week, if you are in a socket that you just received, wear it. Really give it a good try, even if it’s uncomfortable. Gather as much data and intel about the fit and the sore areas so you can ask your prosthetist. to make adjustment, with confidence. The better you communicate the sooner you’ll be in a socket that fits well and allows you to get back to life.

If you are about to get a new socket, or your first socket, I hope this helps you manage expectations so you come through this process in a positive state of mind.

Be excited, for sure. Getting a first socket or a new socket brings hope to you and your family. It’s exciting to design it, and to have your independence back, just understand that it is a process that you will have to navigate.

You will do just fine. You are not alone. I hope that brings comfort to you and a hope of a bright future as an amputee.

 

I hope you have a blessed week until we meet again.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

A Work In Progress

A Work In Progress

Taking Action During “Construction”

 

 

We are all a work in progress. That’s life, right? We all have those moments where you feel you are working on something in your life. Your health, a career, or relationships, you name it.

But what do you do in these moments? How do you continue to grow and better yourself during the construction?

It all starts within you. We begin by working on ourselves.

Right now, while I would rather be working out, being with my horses, and hiking, I can barely walk around my house due to having to use a test socket that is uncomfortable and rubbing me raw. And during this time, I am feeling miserable! I was trying to kick start my health since surgery but have hit moments where I need to work on patience, and heal. Now I feel so far removed from being in shape and that takes a toll on my mental game. Now that I’m in this situation I cannot get to my horses because it’s too hard to walk on normal surfaces, imagine walking across uneven ground of rock, sand and dirt.

 

 

This is my time to focus on my thoughts and heart. This is a time I am put into a slow down phase and being led to work on what I can.

 

How do we go about working on ourselves? We start with seeing the good in the world, seeing the good in our situation and finding joy in the moment despite your circumstances. Next we can assume the best, meaning when we assume the best in a person we can control our emotions much better which leads us to less anger and frustration and more joy. Finally, we must act!

 

 

 

This week we must ACT! Not when we feel it or when joyfulness is in us, but rather right now! Maybe you are struggling or hurting right now. This is the time to look outside of yourself and your situation and reach out to another human, your neighbor, to spread joy and positivity.

Maybe you check in on a neighbor, share a conversation and a smile.

Take care of your support system around you: your spouse, family member, a friend. Let them know you care and are grateful for all they have done for you.

Maybe you see someone struggling in a parking lot, getting groceries in their car. Spend time spreading love and helpfulness by giving them a hand.

It doesn’t take money or a lot of time, it just takes your attention and to show someone, “Hey, I see you. Thank you for all you do. Let me help you”.

 

Whatever you do, do in love, with patience, kindness, and selflessly.

When we give of ourselves, we share love, we show our humanity, and we spread goodness into the world. The world could use that right about now.

Imagine if everyone looked inward and made changes on themselves. Imagine the kind of world we would live in with that kind of kindness being spread!

Wouldn’t that be something!

So, Dear Warriors, what are you going to do while you are under construction this week?

How can you make a difference in spite of your circumstances?

When you focus on others you take the focus off of yourself and it allows you to get out of your own head and release what has been holding you back in your “construction time” and place it elsewhere. What you will see is that your life will be enriched and fuller. Your joy will overflow when you bring joy to others.

Try it and get back to me! Let me know how it’s going.

I’m rooting for you, Warriors! You are strong.  You are special. You are loved!

Have a blessed week ahead, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Let Pain Gain Control

Don’t Let Pain Gain Control

 

This has been a weekend!

Everything was set up perfectly. A family getaway for a long weekend, before our youngest goes back to college, and bringing the dogs to see the ocean for the first time. I couldn’t be happier!

We got to Carlsbad, California Friday late afternoon and took our pups for a walk. Dinner came and we fed them as normal but around 9:00 pm my year and half old pup started acting really weird, almost drunk. She tanked quickly after that, just as my boys were arriving. I called the All night pet ER and asked a few questions and was told by the doctor on call that she could’ve gotten into illicit drugs around the beach! Are you kidding me?!?!?

We took off for the clinic and when we arrived her heart rate was 160!

They gave her a sedative and took a urine sample to test.

We held her and waited. They continued to monitor her heart rate, which thankfully came back down to 70-80 bpm.

This is how our family vacation started! Needless to say I was completely stressed out and afraid for our pup. we brought her home where I monitored her all night long with no sleep….

Now let’s get to the pain part of this story.

 

Don’t get wrapped up in the moment of pain. Look out and see the beauty around you and a future that will get better.

 

This was the first full day in my newest socket since my surgery, add in the stress from the night and Saturday was painful! Phantom pains grew and I started to get a raw mark on my thigh from the top of the socket, plus for added fun, a stomach ache. I was a hot mess!

I did everything in my power to stay positive, deep breathing often and enjoying our beautiful view, but damage was done.

I didn’t get in the steps I had hoped I would get this weekend but I will take a small win- I wore my prosthesis everyday all day, even when I just wanted to take it off.

I let my husband know the pain I was in on Sunday as our kids were packing up to leave for home. I wanted him to know why I was a bit quieter than normal but that was it. I didn’t speak of it any other time, why? I won’t allow pain to gain power on my life. Even on those hard days. If it’s so bad that I can’t walk then I focus on what I can do to have a “win” in my corner-wearing it all day.

Our mind is so very powerful and when we allow pain to take over, consuming us, talking about it often and at every turn, that’s not healing that’s sabotaging yourself.

It’s ok to get quiet in those moments and allow yourself to muscle through hard times, just know that they will pass but talking about them can set you back and hold you down, downing you in the pain. It can be almost impossible to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

What do you do to help yourself in the midst of pain?

Do you give yourself grace knowing it’s a part of life or do you get consumed by pain?

What are steps you take to get your mind right when it seems impossible?

Do you have a good support system to help you navigate life during these trials?

Don’t give up, Warrior, this too shall pass.

Reach out and tell me how you are managing your setbacks.

And remember, you are stronger than you think.

Have a blessed week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,