Tag: motivational

The Gift of Being Present

The Gift of Being Present

Finding Purpose and Joy In This Season

 

 

We’re deep into December, and the Christmas spirit is everywhere—homes decorated with lights, the smell of cookies, gatherings, endless lists of to-dos. This time of year is magical, but it’s also overwhelming. We often rush from task to task, trying to make everything perfect, and before we know it, Christmas comes and goes in a blur. Every year, I remind myself: Be present. Really be in the moment. And yet, like so many of us, I still catch myself speeding through the season, missing the beauty right in front of me.

Last week, I shared about Limbs for Humanity, an incredible organization heading to Rocky Point Medical Clinic with 53 prosthetics—most of them above-knee—for 49 people, including a few bilateral amputees. They work tirelessly and always need help, whether through donations, volunteering, or supplying prosthetic parts. I encourage anyone listening to learn more, especially during this season of giving, because providing someone the gift of mobility is life-changing—not just for them, but for everyone around them.

 

Some recepients of the generosity of Limbs For Humanity

 

But today’s episode shifts from giving in a material way to giving with your presence. And this message hit me hard after hosting my annual Christmas cookie exchange. Every year I throw two big gatherings—one for Halloween, which I love, and one for the holidays with my cookie exchange. This year my home was filled with gorgeous faces, familiar laughter, new friends I hadn’t seen in years, women who traveled across town because they wanted to be part of something meaningful and joyful. I spent days creating handmade crafts—because I love creating in bulk and making unique gifts for people—but what filled my soul wasn’t the crafts, or the cookies, or the decorations. It was the simple act of seeing people show up.

 

Friends and the Power of Connections

Making gifts brings me joy and keeps me active and positive on harder days

 

 

 

There’s something incredibly powerful about people choosing to be present, especially during one of the busiest months of the year. And that’s when it clicked for me: as much as we talk about being present during the holidays, it’s the very thing we often lose our grip on the fastest.

Being present doesn’t erase the pain, struggles, or discomfort—especially for amputees. As amputees, we know there’s rarely a day when something in our body isn’t weird, uncomfortable, painful, or frustrating. Phantom pain hits out of nowhere. The socket might feel too tight, too loose, too heavy, too something. Sometimes sitting on the couch at night feels uncomfortable. Sometimes the good leg takes a beating and we’re reminded of how much pressure it carries. Pain is real, and it can take center stage quickly.

But being present doesn’t mean focusing on the pain of the moment—it means choosing what part of the moment gets your attention.

Yes, we can distract ourselves. I do it all the time: I hit the gym, work on crafts, visit my horses, pour myself into hobbies, or push through discomfort because I refuse to let it control me. But there’s a difference between distraction and presence. Distraction removes us from the moment; presence anchors us in it.

Presence says: Yes, I hurt—but I’m still here. Yes, this is hard—but there is beauty in this moment too.

 

 

 

And this is where so many amputees get stuck. We become hyper-aware of how we feel… constantly. How does this feel now? What about now? Is this getting worse? Is this going to ruin the day? We begin measuring moments by levels of pain rather than levels of joy. And that traps us in waiting mode—waiting for a better moment instead of living the one we’re in.

But the present is a gift—that’s why it’s called the present. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We are not even guaranteed the next hour. What we do have is right now. And as long as we have breath in our lungs, we have purpose.

Standing in my son’s house reminded me of that purpose. I could have been home completing my own tasks or sticking to my routine. Instead, I was called to be here, helping my son and daughter-in-law get their home set up, making their day easier, giving them peace of mind. That, in itself, was a gift—to them, and honestly, to me. Being present for the people we love is one of the simplest and most profound ways to live with meaning.

And presence doesn’t only apply to amputee life—it applies to every human being. Some of us are grieving this holiday season. Some of us have lost loved ones. Some are struggling emotionally, financially, physically, or spiritually. Pain doesn’t discriminate. But presence invites us to look up from our pain, anxiety, and fear and notice the good that still surrounds us.

Because even if your situation feels grim, you cannot tell me there is nothing good in your life worth living for. There is always something: someone who loves you, someone you can help, something you can create, something you can smile about, someone who needs your presence.

This weekend showed me how deeply blessed I am. The hugging, the laughter, the conversations over food and wine—it reminded me that becoming an amputee wasn’t a curse. In many ways, it awakened the warrior within me. It gave me new eyes, a wider heart, and a deeper understanding of what truly matters.

And that’s what I want for anyone struggling today. You might feel broken. You might feel alone. You might feel overwhelmed. Maybe this is the first Christmas without someone you love. Maybe the pain feels louder than the joy. Maybe your spirit feels tired.

But listen closely:

You woke up today.

You have breath in your lungs.

You have purpose.

You have power.

You have the ability to make someone’s day better.

And that means you have the ability to change your own.

 

 

Your call to action this week is simple and profound:

Do something positive for someone else.

Hold a door.

Smile at a stranger.

Bake cookies for a neighbor.

Call a friend.

Visit someone who’s struggling.

Offer kindness wherever you go.

Because when you do something for others, you fill your own bucket. You lift yourself by lifting others. You step out of your own pain and into purpose. And you never know whose life you might touch—or how deeply they might need exactly what only you can offer.

So as we enter this holiday season—and as we prepare to step into a new year—remember this:

The present is a gift.

You are a gift.

Your life is a gift.

And the world needs what only you can bring.

Be present.

Be joyful.

Be intentional.

Be a warrior.

And above all—live for the moment!

 

Have a beautifully “present” week this week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Finding Success

Finding Success

Defining Success As An Amputee

 

 

 

What is success?

Can any one person define success for the world?

Of course not!

As an amputee we need to remember that. Success id what you make of your life and where you’ll find contentment and happiness behind what you do and accomplish.

For some of us it’s walking for the first time without assistance.

For others it’s wearing their prosthesis all day long.

And yet for others, it’s getting back to work, or the gym.

Facing fears has become our new norm. I remember, when I first got my leg, that every time I went walking inside or outside of my house I had fear well up inside of me and I had to battle it so it didn’t paralyze me and leave me stuck, immobile.

It takes time. It takes courage, but remember your journey is yours.

I know people see amputees walking around in the world like it’s a piece of cake but the reality is we all start over and learn to walk again. Some people charge forward determined to walk again while others are fearful and apprehensive to don their new leg and trust it.

It takes time. It takes practice.

 

This was my very first test socket, using parallel bars for support, and yes, I was scared!

 

So what’s the difference on those who walk and those who struggle?

First is mindset, the voice inside your head that is stubborn and tells you, “Yes, you can!” That’s a great voice to have, a positive one. Listen to that voice.

Second, those who find success not only have that positive mindset they also set goals with timelines/deadlines. They are determined to accomplish, despite fears (and yes, we have fears when trying new things, failing, picking ourselves up and trying again-that’s how we learn and improve).

Third, they don’t compare themselves to others. They find joy in their own accomplishments as they improve each day, whatever their goals may be.

What you CAN do are endless possibilities. Like the caterpillar, you need time to become that butterfly.

 

You can do whatever you put your mind too. However, make sure you are realistic with your goals and timelines. After amputation you may feel stuck or defeated because you had no idea how long healing would take, or how a socket would feel on your own flesh, or even how heavy it would be to manipulate because you got weak while you waited to heal.  Just because you were an amazing walker with 2 legs doesn’t mean post amputation is going to be like riding a bike (by the way, post amputation biking riding is also a new challenge, like everything else). You must relearn how to walk because it IS different than before.

Cut yourself some slack. Understand that fears are common and the only way to your goal will be through some of those fears.

But I can promise you, facing fears to reach your goals, no matter how big or small they are, will be one of the most rewarding things you’ll feel.

Just don’t give up. Dig deep and know you are capable. You may be needing to take baby steps to push through, but take them.

You will fail and you will fall, but that is how you learn. Pick yourself back up and go at it again, and again, and again.

 

Hiking is my favorite activity but is exhausting. The terrain is uncertain but I worked hard to be able to get to this point.

 

 

Let’s do this!

Change your mindset to positive mode!

Decide what you most want to achieve.

WRITE IT DOWN!

Set that goal and a plan on how to achieve it. If you want to wear your leg all day but aren’t wearing it at all now then start by saying: Day 1 I will wear it 2 hours around the house (use assistive devices if you are concerned) but wear it! Sit in it, stand in it, mosey around your house with it on. Day 2 wear it for more time, don’t take it off, even if you only wear it 10 minutes longer than yesterday you still improved! Continue on that path. Always adding more time, staying in it longer and walking where you are safe.

After a few days of doing this then you can set a realistic goal deadline to wearing it all day. Set that date!

This is how you achieve your goals, and this is how you will find YOUR success!

Also, success is NOT a straight line without setbacks. If you are having a bad day or the fit hurts, then you use that time to adjust, take a break, and then start again the next day. One setback does NOT mean you’ve failed, it means you are learning!

Keep going, Warrior!!!

You can do this, I know you can.

Remember, you are stronger than you know! Dig deep and find your inner warrior!!!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,