Tag: mental health

A Leg Up On Life

A Leg Up On Life

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Dealing With Negative Emotions Post-Amputation

 

Anger, Guilt, Shame, and Fear are all such destructive emotions. They hold us back from realizing our full potential and no one is immune to feeling them at one time or another.

As amputees, we face unique challenges, including fears about our new life, future uncertainty, failures, prosthetics, and adapting to physical limitations.

As a wife and homeschooling mom amputee I often struggled with guilt. I was always worried about making mistakes and inadequacy.

Now, as an amputee, (and I ELECTED this), I was even more fearful of what might be my shortcomings.

This is a lot of pressure to put on myself. How about you? Are you adding this stress into your life?

All in all, any of those above mentioned emotions, are taking away your happiness and also adding a negative aspect to your life, one that is stress-inducing and impeding success.

Stress can harm our health, impeding healing and progress. We must recognize and tame these self-destructive emotions if we are to truly love ourselves, love our life and live it fully.

 

Enjoy the good days. Remember those feelings. Harness them and utilize them when you are struggling.

 

We must realize what we are doing to ourselves and how to tame that monster that is self-destructive in nature.

So what can you do when these emotions begin to rear their ugly heads in your mind and life?

 

First thing;

Stop beating yourself up over situations you cannot control. You cannot control infections, poor fitting sockets, blister and rashes, or phantom pains.

Next, you need to communicate with your family and support system about how you are feeling. and when you’re feeling like you are getting everyone down. They need to know where you are at during the harder times as you navigate being an amputee because they probably don’t have any other experience with amputees than YOU.  Help them understand how you see yourself, where you want to be and what’s currently holding you back from realizing your potential. More than likely they wouldn’t want you to be worrying about that, just about getting better and stronger.

Finally, use positive self-talk. Your brain is a powerful muscle and it will bend and move to what thoughts you are allowing it to feed off of. If you tell yourself you aren’t good enough, that you aren’t contributing, or you are letting down those around you, then that is what you will feel is true. BIG TIME STRESSOR!

Time to start forgiving yourself, forgiving those around you that have hurt you, breaking free from fears, and letting go of guilt. When you are sick and laid up, your first priority must be to get stronger and healthier so you CAN get back to your life and family.

You can do this, you are strong enough. This is a long journey, a marathon, not a sprint. You will find that when things are going well something will come along and take you back a step or two. Likewise, when you are struggling, I can promise you, it won’t last and soon everything will start working out for the positive.

Don’t distress, dear Warriors, this too shall pass.

Lift up your chin, put a smile on your face, and laugh despite your struggles.

The time is now to sharpen your mental sword and fight for what you want and how you want to live your life.

Don’t give up and don’t lose hope.

Make today a great day,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

Finding Yourself By Letting Go

Finding Yourself By Letting Go

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Through The Eyes of a Horse

Horse Therapy-the horse who started it all: Cherokee

 

What can I say, I LOVE horses! I have always loved horses, just seeing them makes me smile. Yet as a girl growing up in the suburbs of Chicago I was never around any horses. The attraction is a mystery.

Never in my WILDEST dreams could I have imagined that at my age I would be surrounded by them every single day, training them, getting certified to train them, grooming them and now bringing a therapy to the public in which the horses becomes the teacher.

They are incredible creatures with so much to offer.

My journey began after my amputation and with the horse you see pictured above. Even though I was only around him for 30-45 minutes, the impact he made on my life was the most profound experience I have ever felt! Not only did my amputation change the trajectory of my life, now horses were a part of this ever changing path.

Now after 4 years of learning and teaching, observing and making mistakes,  I am ready to bring this mental healing to others, and I AM EXCITED!!!

 

CONNECTION

 

BEING PRESENT

 

TRUST

 

The benefits of just being in proximity to horses is incredible! The healing they can bring to our lives is unmatched.

I hope that one day you, too, can feel the healing power of horses in your life, and I would love to be the one to take you there.

Join me on this new journey that I never, EVER saw coming a mere 5 years ago.

Let’s work together and heal ourselves through the eyes of a horse.

 

I pray you have a beautiful week and a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much Love,

 

My silly girl!
Enjoying Life

Enjoying Life

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Live in the Moment and Experience Your Best Life

 

 

Take a breathe. Now slowly let it out.

Breathing is an automatic response by our body, it knows that we can’t survive without oxygen, but have you ever noticed your breathe being shallow or worse yet, you held your breathe?

We tend to do this in times of stress, anxiety and fear, and yes, we all face some sort of and some level of these moments on a daily basis.

We are actually depriving ourselves of the one thing our body needs to stay alive!

Now, take that and add in the frustration, pain, and uncertainty of losing a limb and trying to “get back to your life”. Also add in, for some of you, the anger you feel if accident or sickness took your limb away and the choice of living a life as an amputee wasn’t up to you. That’s pretty harsh, right?

But, we are stronger than we know. Our bodies and our minds are more resilient than we understand.

We must really make the effort to push forward.

 

 

I named this podcast Be-YOU-tiful Adaptive Warrior because 1) I believe we all have a warrior spirit, 2) that we are beautiful just as we are (no matter how many limbs we have) and 3) we are adaptive beings, no matter what is thrown at us, we are capable of adaptation.

The time is now to live in the moment. Realize that you and your life, no matter what you’re going through, are a miracle and capable of great things.

 

 

Now is the time to enjoy your life and press onward and FORWARD! No use in looking back if it’s just going to cause you pain, stress, and frustration. What’s done is done.

Now we live.

Now we rise up.

Now we embrace our journey, set goals, crush goals and REPEAT!!

You are special and you are strong enough! So rise up, Warriors, and live your best life!

 

Now what?

Ask yourself, “AM I ready to live my life again?”

If the answer is “No”, what is holding you back? You need to address those issues first, just don’t let fear be the reason. We all live with certain fears, the difference: those that press through their fears find the reward of facing them by experiencing a full life.

If your answer is “Yes, I’m ready”, then your next step is to decide what it is that you want to do, where you want to go, what you want to see, and what you want to try.

Make a list.

Decide which ones are plausible now and start creating steps you need to reach that goal and then….

BEGIN TODAY!!

If you want to surf, then you need to build core strength, work on balance, get a surf leg, practice popups on your floor in your house, etc, etc, etc.

Every goals has steps to get to the goal. Break yours down into bite sized pieces and start getting after it.

Remember, you are a miracle, your life is a miracle.

Be present, and enjoy your life. You’ll be so glad you did!!

Write to me and tell me how it’s going, I’d love to hear from you!

And remember you are a Warrior!

Until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Prepping For Battle

Prepping For Battle

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Finding Peace and Comfort in This Hard Season

 

How does a warrior prepare for battle?

They need the right kind of armor to protect themself from harm.

They need weapons to defeat the enemy, too.

 

What is your armor?

What weapons do you wield as you go into this new season, this battle, for your health and livelihood?

Yes, you CAN prepare. There are things you can do to build yourself up to being stronger and able to handle the journey you are embarking on.

I am speaking from a perspective that I relate to, that is, elected amputation. Not everyone has this experience, and I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to have that taken from me with no choice, so I will not be speaking of that journey today.

I had four months to prepare, research, interview, seek help, and get a leg up (PUN intended!) on my forthcoming surgery.

I believe there are many things we need to address to feel even somewhat prepared for such a huge life-changing surgery, and even then, you are never going to be completely ready for that day and what is to come in the years to follow, but you might as well start from a positive, strong place.

I address 4 major areas to get yourself prepped for such a surgery: Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Insurance

Yep, Insurance! You are in control of those other areas of your life, but insurance can become the enemy very quickly if you are not researching and doing your due diligence with what your insurance covers…prosthetics are EXPENSIVE!!!

Like I said before, I had four months from the time I scheduled my surgery til the day of my amputation.

These four months were extremely challenging and emotional. I tried my best to stay positive and convinced that this was the right move, but some days were much harder to convince myself than others.

I began to go through the “What if’s….” A LOT! I had fears well up in the night as I lay in the dark and everyone else in my house was sleeping. I struggled with the idea of death, and I worried that I wouldn’t be a functioning amputee. So many questions, and I knew NO amputees at the time. So many fears and so many uncertainties. It was almost unbearable.

But I decided to not let negativity rule my months I had left as a ‘two-legger’, and I began to prepare my heart, mind and body for the battle ahead. And Insurance, unbeknownst to me, was going to be a very grueling battle!

Don’t get caught without a plan.

Don’t get caught without visualizing a better future.

Don’t get caught without setting goals.

These items are your armor and your weapons.

Be prepared, you are, after all, a WARRIOR!

We all have a warrior spirit, some of us just need to believe it to unleash it.

Believe in yourself. You can do this! I believe in YOU, Dear Warrior!

 

 

Start making a plan now, don’t wait!

Prepare yourself by addressing your mental and emotional capacity to handle what’s coming. How? Talk to people. When you talk about it you will find you relax the hold it has over you. I remember when I couldn’t even say “Amputation”, it made it too real if I said it, but that’s what I had to learn to do. The more I talked about it, the easier it became to say, eventually it got me then thinking about what was coming and how I might handle certain situations, like getting in and out of a car, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, cooking dinner while on crutches, etc. I would not have those questions without open conversations with my family and friends.

Physically prepare by building your balance, core strength, and the limb that will be left behind to do all the work.

Finally, insurance. Please do your research. Ask questions about what is and is NOT covered by your insurance. Double check, and even triple check if time allows. The cost is profound, and the average household struggles to afford one.

You are strong enough to go through this, but you must prepare, just as a runner prepares for a marathoner and a warrior prepares for battle. Strengthen yourself and watch a new life unfold in front of you.

Your life is ending or diminished because of amputation, it has just turned onto a new path. And the adventures will be amazing!

So, Warriors, rise up to the challenge in front of you! You are strong enough. You are brave enough. You are ENOUGH!

Until next week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

Independence

Independence

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Freedom and Joy in Movement

 

What do you dream about doing or accomplishing?

As amputees we tend to struggle with getting back out there, worried that we won’t be able to live full lives filled with goals set and conquered, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Yes, the first couple of years there is a lot of changes taking place with your body, and a whole new routine of being fitted for your prosthesis every few months, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be getting active and finding the joy of becoming independent once again.

Prior to my amputation I spent 5 years in surgeries, icing and elevating my leg, and going to appointments. I had no time to do anything else, and my life became a series of tasks in hopes of getting better, but not truly living. I had no time to dream about the next ski trip or learning a new sport, I was in survival mode, plain and simple.

However, I set many goals for myself to accomplish by one year post-amputation. I never thought, “What if I can’t do this?” or “That’s not possible.” I just set my goals and worked toward them. No one told me that maybe I was being to aggressive on myself, or that I was dreaming too big. My family and friends just walked alongside of me, supporting me through it all.

What I can tell you about that first year is this: I was so happy! I found joy in life once again! I never looked back with regrets to having had the amputation, and in that first year I knew that I could do anything I put my mind to.

 

Life is meant to be lived fully. I aim to try new things whenever the opportunity arises!

 

The point: We each are traveling on our own unique journey, but we all want to have independence and the feeling of freedom that comes with that, this truly goes for those of us who have been laid up, or stuck in a medical crisis. Setting goals to keep us on track and moving forward is key to feeling the freedom of independence once again.

When I speak to other amputees about what they want to get back to doing to make them feel productive, and independent in life, some of the most basic life skills is what they speak of first; dressing themselves, standing in their kitchen to wash dishes or make a meal. Basic, right? But that’s what makes us feel productive and useful. I know I couldn’t wait to show my family that I could serve them the way I use to, before the accident. And when we experience these baby steps of accomplishment it leaves us thirsting for more!

The goals and aspirations grow and change. As we build strength and stamina, as we get better at using our prosthesis, we begin to really dream of the possibilities. That’s when the real fun begins, and the joy from accomplishing goals becomes a need not just a want.

So, What do you dream about accomplishing? What will give you back your independence or freedom?

Dare to dream because being an amputee isn’t what it use to be. You can do anything you put your mind to, if only you dare!

 

This week I want you to make a list of the things you most want to do. Maybe tasks around the house or at work. Maybe just getting dressed or making the bed. It doesn’t have to be big, monumental tasks or goals, just ones that will make you feel good that you can do on your own again.

It is also ok to add, to your list, goals for the future. Remember, dreaming is what keeps us motivated and moving forward.

Don’t be afraid to add whatever is on your heart. This is a great time to not think about the “how” of these longterm goals, just dream!

Finding independence again, is such a blessing and brings great joy.

Just remember to START WHERE YOU’RE AT.

Know that with these new goals there may be some fear or anxiety, but with anything worth achieving we must all face fears. I do all the time. Just remember what you’re made of. Remember what you’ve been through. YOU ARE A WARRIOR!!

Now make that list and start tackling those dreams!

 

I hope you all have a blessed week, thank you for listening,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

Bunker Hill- 297 steps to the top! I was nervous but I did it!
Times of Struggles

Times of Struggles

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Finding Peace in These Moments

 

These are the times I struggle with the most. Yes, it can be nice to have down time but for someone like me downtime can become a bad habit and turn, quickly, into a new way of living.

I realize how hard I push myself, daily. I know I pack my schedule full, every single day. If I don’t keep that pace I truly become an all or nothing kind of person.

Well, I am being tested on my drive and motivation right now. I have been away on vacation, followed by a week+ of being sick, into prepping for my son to head back to college, to hurting my back! These past 3 weeks have been a call, from my body, to slow down and recharge my batteries, and I am trying to listen.

I have guilt for not being there for my horses, and feel uncomfortable in my body for the lack of gym time and hiking.

I know that this is a moment for me to work on my internal self, my self-talk, and my motivation to get back on the horse once I feel better, but it is tough!

When we get to a place of being so super active and it turns to a lot of downtime, it can be hard to feel mentally and emotionally good about ourselves. I know I am always trying to do what I feel I “should” be doing as a mom and wife, but when I am hurting, physically, it makes it hard to be active, and in a good headspace.

Here’s what I have been doing to make the best of my time:

I am cooking for my family,

I am reading my Bible again,

I am reading for pleasure,

I have been writing in a goal setting journal for the gym and food aspect of my life,

I am creating gift ideas for family and friends,

I am planning my seasonal parties,

I am active, in my head, at least.

As for my body, well, that is going to take time with a back that is hurting.

It’s amazing that everything I want to do to be, even somewhat, active takes back strength and control! I tried using my surf board in the pool and the arching of my back on it almost paralyzed me! Sit ups or planks? Forget it, back control. Lifting? No way, my back is always engaged with weights. Walking? I know I am not walking correctly (over compensating for the pain), so I will only create more issues.  This is tough, I won’t lie. But I have seen this before, I have heard from many of you, and what I see is a moment we are given to learn about ourselves, a time to recharge our batteries for something more coming up, a situation that allows us time to regroup and goal set for our future, especially if our future feels uncertain and scary.

This is a time for us to use for the good. Use it to get to know yourself or to realign your life with new goals, hopes or dreams.

Maybe you have felt overwhelmed and unsure of what you are suppose to be doing right now, use this down time as a chance to gain clarity and focus.

You are a warrior, don’t you ever forget that!

I believe in you! Do you?

 

This week, allow yourself the moments you have being laid up to being constructive for your future. You are not being lazy, you are healing your body, you are listening to what your body needs right now. This moment isn’t forever.

Use this time to dream, goal set, find focus, change directions, plan.

What do you want from your life?

What have you been missing out on since you got “laid up”?

You can use this time for positive gains, just in a different way than you thought. You may not be on your feet at this moment, or unable to perform certain tasks right now, but prepare yourself for when your body is ready to get back at it. It’ll be here before you know it!

 

So Rise up, faithful Warrior, and chase your dreams!!

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

I See You

I See You

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Setbacks Happen, You Are Not Alone

 

The reality is that after your amputation the journey is just beginning.

The journey is filled with ups and downs and everything in between.

I wished I could tell you that once your limb physically heals, from the surgery, that it’s all downhill from there but that wouldn’t be accurate for 99% of the amputees.

Most of us will deal with 2-3 years of limb volume changes making the socket fitting process a true test of patience and resilience.

Add in phantom pains, possible neuromas, skin breakdown, etc and the challenges can seem daunting and never-ending

But have no fear, the journey is not an easy one, but can be so very rewarding.

You should be setting goals for yourself, depending where you are in your journey.

This life is a journey; embrace it, wherever you are at in it.

 

You will build character and learn so much about yourself, too.

I know you are going through some rough times right now, but you’re not alone. I see you. I have been where you are, and I will probably have a rough go at it sometime in the near future.

This is the life of an amputee.

There is beauty in the struggle, though. Your mindset can dictate, and WILL dictate your outcomes.

You have two choices, play the victim or play the hero of your story.

Your mindset matters.

If you are in the middle of a setback in your journey, have no fear. This is the moment to take a breathe, be present, and begin to anticipate what beauty is to come.

What do you want to achieve?

Where do you see yourself once you heal or get past this hurdle?

 

At this moment, when life seems too much and you are frustrated and feeling like you’ll never get back to the way you were before your setback remember that this moment is setting you up for a leap forward and in the right direction.

Get your mindset correct and be ready for the positive changes.

Use this time to create a plan that makes you happy, one that you can be excited about as you anticipate your full recovery, from whatever is holding back right now.

If you visualize a positive momentum to come, you can will it to happen.

Sending your mind positive thoughts and imagery is exactly how to succeed.

Pause in this moment, take a few deep cleansing breathes and prepare yourself for a positive shift.

You’ve got this, Warrior!!! Don’t lose hope.

 

I’m praying for you!

 

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

Keep Your Eye On The Ball

Keep Your Eye On The Ball

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Staying Present to Live Fully

 

I played sports all my life and the one take away from all of those years was that if I wasn’t focused on the moment then I wasn’t going to perform at my best.

You’ve heard the saying, “Keep your eye on the ball” or “Keep your eye on the prize” and you have probably understood it in the context it was told to you. I heard it a million times in all the years I played softball. It wasn’t a metaphor, it was literal. “Don’t lose sight of the ball.”-You can’t hit a ball you aren’t looking at, and you can’t field a ball you don’t see.

But how about hearing that saying in life?

Can you see how this relates to your daily living?

All too often we spend time waiting for the next best thing to happen. We look forward to being out of this moment, and when we will feel happiness or joy again. We try to avoid living in the present when the present is too pain to handle. But what about right now?

I read something the other day that made me really think. What are we waiting for? The end of the journey is the grave. We should be living in this moment for all it’s worth, enjoying the battles and the victories. We must learn to embrace the bad times as much as the good ones because we learn from all moments, we create memories in all moments.

 

Moments like this make a pain-filled day just what I needed to find my smile.

 

Life is good and life is hard.

Without the hard moments, the ones where we live in a valley, were cannot fully appreciate the good ones.

This week I want you to focus on living in the present.

Stop time by living fully IN time.

 

A quiet moment with my pup. Breathe in, breathe out.

I don’t mean for you to wallow in your pain, that’s not the moment I am talking about. But in those hard and painful moments life is happening all around you. The sun is shining, the dogs are cuddling up against you, a friend sends you a special text. Your moment isn’t just the pain you might be feeling but all the things happening around you and to you.

It’s ok to acknowledge your pain and struggles, just don’t live there, and don’t give it power. Acknowledge and move on.

You are a warrior.

You are stronger than you know.

Keep your eye on the ball and live a full life, the life you were always meant to live!

 

 

This week, every night before you go to bed, make a list of 5 things that made you feel good, happy, loved, appreciated, alive.

Whatever you noticed that brought you joy and happiness.

This doesn’t have to be a writing assignment, just a list.

Maybe you smelled the rain and it relaxed you.

Maybe your puppy came and cuddled up next to you and you felt relaxed and loved.

Maybe the sun shining down through the trees brought you a sense of peace.

This is about staying present and appreciating the little things that happen throughout the day.

We must practice staying present everyday because we become so easily caught up in the wanting and yearning of a new day or a better life, or wanting everything that’s just out of reach instead of seeing how many good things are happening throughout the day to us.

Stay present.

Appreciate the little moments.

Move past the pain by acknowledging it and then moving on from it.

You are strong and capable.

You are a fighter, so fight!

You are worthy, so pick up your head and hold yourself up high.

Until next week, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

These are the moments I live for

 

It’s Not Just You

It’s Not Just You

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 20:21 — 21.7MB)

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Normalizing Phantom Pain

 

No matter what you think, every amputee has issues at some point or another.

No one is exempt from phantom pain or phantom sensations even though it appears as they do.

Most successful people, meaning those who appear to be living their best life after amputation, do not sit around thinking about phantom pain or wallowing in it, they keep moving, they keep pushing through it, until they make it through…for at least that episode.

I was once told that talking about it and harping about the phantom pain only gave it power over me, so I try very hard not to talk about it.

Moving through an episode, that is what I call them because they come on quick, last for a brief moment in time and then disappear as quickly as they came on…only to be repeated again in the future. But moving through an episode can be a lonely place and often times hard. Making a decision to keep doing life despite it and not letting it get the best of you takes mental fortitude. Some days I feel like I have it…other days, not so much.

This week is one of those weeks. Monday I struggled all day. Tuesday I forced myself to the gym and grocery shopping, only to feel exhausted by the end of it all and only to find it tough to get sleep Tuesday night… BUT, I made life happen for me, not to me!

I chose to get active and I felt better that I had, mentally, even though physically I was still struggling.

You have to choose your battles. Know when to push through  and know when your body and mind need a break.

Just don’t give up and never, for a second, think you are the only one that is struggling. You are NOT.

Be strong, dear Warrior! You will get through it!

 

I hope you have a blessed week and one filled with positive momentum forward!

U

ntil next week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

much love,


Launch

Launch

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 23:29 — 24.3MB)

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Prepare Yourself!

Your steps backward are prepping you to be rocketed forward.

Ever feel like you are being held down, pushed backwards, not making forward progress?

I’ve been there and it can be so frustrating! Sometimes it feels like you are never going to get back to where you were or progress any further

What I have learned over these past 12 years of setbacks and surgeries, backward movement and disappointment, is that whenever I have gone through those moments, sooner or later, I am back to where I once was AND usually further along than I could’ve ever imagined…and sometimes down a path I would never have seen.

Sometimes these “valleys” take days , weeks or even months. Mine lasted 5 years of hoping and praying that life would cut me a break…little did I know that a simple pop of my MCL in a karate graduation would amount to an amputation 5 years later, and some of the most profound and wonderful moments of my life!!!

We need to remember that when we have setbacks- they won’t last forever, and that these setbacks are stressing us to launch us into something greater than we could ever have fathomed.

Prepare yourself; your heart, mind and body, for something great to happen. Don’t get down and give up, instead be prepared for your launch!

Be prepared for something amazing and spectacular to happen on your life.
Setbacks are a way to a new path and usually one that sets us up for greatness.

Be prepared to be launched!!

This week starts mentally preparing yourself for your launch, especially if you feel that you’ve been knocked down or held back by some illness, frustration, situation in your life.

Start seeing what could be and what might happen and see the positive side, get excited for change to come and push you further than you could ever believe you’d go. Sometimes just preparing our minds to accept change that might come can manifest itself into reality. “If you can think it you can do it” sort of scenario.

Don’t get down, just know that you are being stressed and stretched to be sling shot forward into a whole new situation with all new possibilities.

Just know that you won’t be where you are forever. You are being prepared to experience a forward movement and back to climbing to that mountain top.

I hope you have a beautiful week ahead.

And as always.

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

much love,

Angie

 

#bawarrior360 #believinginyourself #limbloss #podcast #personaljourney #launch #setbacksaresetups #prepareyourself #amputeelife #ampstrong #valleystomountaintops #slingshot

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