Tag: hope

Rock Bottom Isn’t Really Rock Bottom

Rock Bottom Isn’t Really Rock Bottom

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Finding Joy in the Hard Moments

My joy and why I do what I do.

So not everyday is roses.  It may seem like that if you check out some people’s social media.  Don’t buy it!  We all struggle, and we all go through valleys.  I’m smiling in the photo above because I am surrounded by the people I love, doing something we love- together.  Today, however, as I put on my prosthetic, I realized it didn’t feel right.  As I started walking on it I was noticing that I was already hitting the bone at the end of my residual limb on the inside of my socket.  I tried to “walk it off” by literally grabbing my backpack and heading out for a walk, only to realize I just couldn’t make it to the end of my block!

DEFEAT!

That’s what was going through my head.  Then, “what if I never get back the level of activity I had last year!?”

ENOUGH! This talk was helping no one.  That’s when I decided to share my journey with you.  To put it all out there and show that even when it appears all is going well, that sometimes it’s just not.  And for me to give up on an activity is really saying something….especially me sharing that I gave up.

It has to be known, that all of us fall victim to self-doubt, or giving up, or fears.  We are all human, after all.  What makes each one of us different is what we do after we fall.  Do you sit and wallow in self-pity, looking for external things and people to give you strength and value? Or do you pick yourself back up and try again when you’re ready?

How we approach the hard times will inevitably be what helps us succeed on our journey called life, or fall short and make us struggle every time things don’t go our way.

I want to see you all rise up, challenge yourself, and succeed!  You need to believe in yourself. Believe you ARE strong enough, and make life what you want it to be.

You can do it! Rise up!  Here I am on a great day.
This is where I want to be, this is my goal!

 

 

 

This week stay positive! I know, easier said than done at times. Find something that you CAN do and go do it. Be outside, let the sunshine and Fall weather bring you joy, energy, and some inner peace.  Do something that makes you laugh, and release those positive chemicals in your body.  Don’t sit back and ponder all the negatives, that won’t do you, or anyone around you, any good.  You deserve more! You deserve better!!

 

I’m here for you!  Let me know how you’re doing.

 

And remember, as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

Sometimes how I feel about my leg!🤣

 

 

What is Your Why?

What is Your Why?

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What drives you forward when you hit hard times?

 

 

When days get hard we look to find purpose, I think that’s human nature. Somedays we fall short of finding what gets us up and motivated.  Today, after a very hard hike in the heat and my prosthetic rubbing my leg raw, I pushed myself to a point that I wasn’t sure I’d make it back to the car but when I did, I sat there and looked at my husband and right then, in midst of my pain and exhaustion, I saw my purpose very clearly.

 

My husband, and my ‘Why’, up at Young Life camp serving with me.

 

For me, I need to see my purpose, daily.  I know that it is what drives me forward, to work through the pain, to try new things- even if I fail.  My two sons, they are my purpose, as well.  They have seen me go through hard times, seen me struggle, and seen my victories.  They were there for it all and were 2 amazing supports, even at a young age.  They kept me going and striving for more.

My ‘Why’
My boys, supporting one another, as well.

Life is better when you figure out your purpose.  And when hard times come, and they will, knowing your purpose, the “why” in your life, then you’ll be prepared and ready to fight the battles.  You are not alone, you are loved. Find your ‘why’ and watch your circumstances and attitude shift.

 

 

Simply put: your call to action this week is to soul search and figure out what you’re living for, what you get up in the morning for, what puts a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

Spend time in a quiet location and really search your heart.  Once you figure out what your purpose is, write it down and place it somewhere you can see it everyday.  If it’s someone in your life, put a picture near your bedside and remember what you’re doing this all for.  When I decided to amputate, I made a vision board to show me things I wanted to get back to or do again after I healed. I also had pictures of my boys, my husband and my siblings on my board… my why’s were there watching me and helping remember why I chose to go through this.

It’s motivating to find your purpose.  You can do this and you will figure it out.  Do it now! Don’t wait until you are searching and feel like you’re drowning in pain and turmoil.  Have your ‘Why’ ready for when those moments strike. You’ll be prepared and ready to tackle the valleys when they arise.

 

This is what I live for!

 

He is my future.

 

What is YOUR ‘Why’?

 

As always;

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Abracadabra

Abracadabra

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Phantoms and Serving Others: How do they fit together?

 

Ok, so maybe it’s not THAT easy to rid yourself of phantom pains, but it does help.

 

SERVING.

When we distract our minds then we can free ourselves, even temporarily, from pain.  So why not help others while you help yourself?  I can’t think of anything better than serving where I’m needed, helping someone else out, while I get an opportunity to keep so busy that I don’t think about my own problems.

Six years ago my oldest son started to go part-time to a Christian school here in the valley. I found out that they go up to Williams, AZ to Lost Canyon Young Life camp every Fall and always need parent volunteers and I thought I could help.  I knew no one and I was actually already struggling with knee pain and surgeries, but I thought what better way to meet new people and distract myself from my own misery.

To say that this was life-changing for me would be an understatement!  I meant fantastic new people, made great friends, grew in my Faith (which proved to be invaluable as amputation time came), and I helped the school fill a need.  Did my knee hurt? You betcha!  Did I notice it while I served? Not as much as if I had sat around and felt sorry for myself.

You see, when we sit around with an idle mind we, as humans, tend to dwell on our hardships.  We let that inner voice go from positive to negative in a heartbeat.  Who needs that?  It doesn’t help your situation or circumstance and actually makes you miserable to be around.

As the years passed, and so did my years of being at this retreat, I learned something about myself.  I use activity to take my mind off my own problems, pains, and worries.  Retreat became more of a saving grace for me, while I blessed our students.  Who would’ve know? And then that became the key to me pushing through pain, and eventually phantom pain. You see, phantom pain is not “real, physical” pain but nerves that don’t know what to do with the signals being sent out.  In this case there isn’t a lot we can do  to “physically” curb those feelings, we must dig deeper and address them through our mind.  Training our brain to function differently now that we are missing a limb.

If I find myself being active, in a new place with beautiful surroundings, I am more apt to move past my pains and focus on the good around me.  Take a look at where I was this past week in the pictures below:

Iron Horse Worship Center

 

The grounds are so clean and beautiful, and the weather is so much cooler than Phoenix.

 

The magnificent dining hall I have served in for the past 6 years.
This year was my last as my youngest is a senior. It was hard to say good-bye.😥

In a world were there is so much need for servers, and volunteers, why not get out and do something good while you reap the benefits of distracting yourself from your own pain AND doing good?  Also, whenever I spend time serving others I notice that I am riding on a cloud for weeks following my serving.  There is something so magical about helping others through our own valleys.  Try it!  You may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

 

Oh, by the way, did I mention the night skies?  Awe-inspiring is all I can say!

 

 

 

It’s simple, like magic and a slight of the hand:

 

Serve others before yourself.

Give of yourself and watch how God work in and through you.

 

Abracadabra, let your pain go, use distraction, and like magic, you can have some peace from your pain.

Find a way to get involved in your community. Give to someone else that’s hurting or worse of then you, believe me, there is always someone who is struggling with more than what you are. Find what’s good about your life, your circumstance, and then use that fuel to help others. You will be glad you did.

 

And as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

The Journey Called Life

The Journey Called Life

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Have Grace With Yourself Through Life’s Ups and Downs

The valleys in life allow us to see the beauty of the mountain tops

 

Moving has been the focus of my every moment this past 3-4 weeks and it has been exhausting. I have pushed myself to the max to get things unpacked and to make our new house look like a home. I have rubbed my residual limb raw, created some serious pains that have taken my breathe away, and made my “good leg” ache with all the work it has done to compensate for the lack of not having another limb. With all the craziness of life I have ignored the fit of my socket, until now. I am finally getting fit for a new socket and am excited with the idea of a closer fit, but anxious with having to cope with a new fit that will inevitably cause pains as I adapt to it.

With the good comes the bad. With the highs come the lows, and life is a journey. We must always remember that life isn’t a sprint but a marathon. I need to remember that. I can get impatient at times, and frustrated by the problems and set backs I encounter on a day to day/week to week basis.

I need to remember to stop and smell the roses( or in my case, today, sunflowers), and enjoy the journey. Today was one of those days when everything just came to a head for me, emotionally, and I got so angry and frustrated. You know, the kind of emotion that makes you want to give up and take a nap…. or stress eat!

I’m proud of myself, I did neither! Instead I went through with recording my podcast. Take a listen to hear what happened today that put me in a tail spin. As I spoke to you all about it, I realized that I am truly blessed with my life and that “this too, shall pass”.  I must learn to have grace with the world, the people around me, and myself.  I believe we have these moments to remind ourselves of all the good that is in our life. Without the valleys how can we appreciate the mountain tops? I sometimes forget how good my life is and how blessed I am. I need to remind myself to be grateful, even through the problems.

I hope you can see how blessed you are with who and what you have in your life, even when things aren’t so perfect. If we can just see the positives we can eliminate stressors that can harm our health.  Our attitude and outlook on our life can create a healthy life or make us sick.  Being unhappy, grouchy, and angry can really harm our health and  destroy our recovery from sickness or surgery. Try positivity. You might be surprised on how great you’ll start feeling AND you’ll also see the world change, for the better, all around you, all because of how you carry yourself. I don’t see myself as disabled or handicapped. I like to smile at people who look at me, staring at my leg. When I smile and they smile back then I know they see me for ME, then a chain  reaction occurs, of happy vibes…. at least in my life and at my house.  Try it!! The world needs more positive vibes- why not be the person who starts it? Be the change!

 

 

Today’s Call to Action:
Write down 5 things that you are grateful for. Maybe it’s people in your life, or your pet. Maybe its the health you DO enjoy, or a memory. Maybe it’s simply that cup of coffee with a friend or that moment you had to watch the sunset. Just be thankful! Then post your list somewhere that you can see it everyday. Maybe on your mirror in your bathroom, or next to your bed at night.

Better yet, can you write 5 things for which you are grateful for 7 days in a row?

Send me a message and tell me what you are grateful for. Our gratefulness is contagious!

I am grateful for each of you!! Thank you for reading, listening, and following my journey!

 

And as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

A little bit of sunshine to make me smile

 

Much love and admiration,

Angie

 

I’m Back and All Moved In!

I’m Back and All Moved In!

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Moving is Tough Work!

Even my dog is exhausted!!

 

I am BACK!!! I have missed being here and recording my podcast. So sorry for the temporary interruption in the broadcast but my family has been in the midst of a big move! I never thought we’d leave the amazing house we had but times change and new chapters begin.

Our old house held so many memories for me and my family with family visiting, college students spending weekends, our Chocolate lab passing away during the pandemic, to years of homeschooling. So many good (and hard) memories to let go of but change is inevitable.  The perfect house caught our attention, and then WHAM! we were in the middle of 4 weeks of purging, packing, showing, closing, and unpacking. To say that June was a blur and a whirlwind is an understatement!

While we did all that we also had a trip to Chicago planned…not knowing we were going to be buying a house. Chicago was amazing, we celebrated my husband’s birthday with all of our family and went downtown to watch our Cubbies play and enjoy the sights and sounds of the city we grew up in. Oh how I had missed that this past year and a half.

Downtown Chicago, Michigan Avenue😍

 

Cubbies for the win!!!

 

As an amputee I have had concerns about a big move, after all, I am a packrat and 12 years in a home means there was a LOT of stuff to go through that wasn’t needed. Also, I have to say that unpacking was so very hard on my good leg, especially my hip. There was a lot of bending over to get stuff off the ground or out of boxes. After a while my hip would just ache as I laid in bed every night.  My suggestion for anyone moving, who is an amputee, get some help. Even if a few friends can come over and pull stuff out of boxes and place them up on a counter, it’ll save you from overworking your good joints.  I say this but I didn’t elicit any help that was offered….I’m stubborn that way, and I paid the price. I’m still unpacking and making this place “home”, and my hip is sore.

 

My Podcast/Craft room: Before

 

My Podcast/Craft room: After
(And Bella, my shadow, hanging out with me)

 

As you can see, I’ve come a long way. It’s not complete but getting there. So grateful that I’m totally unboxed.

Moving is hard to do, physically and emotionally.  We closed on our home yesterday so the night before we headed over one last time.  It’s so hard to say good-bye to a place you’ve raised your family and made amazing memories in, but as my friends have said, there are new memories to be made, and thankfully you can take memories wherever you go. I loved our home. It served us well, and it will be missed.

Our final good-bye to our home

I hope you know that finding a home that will suit your life and your journey is very important, I mean, that’s why we moved after all. A ranch home will allow me to preserve my good knee and hip for many more years. A new chapter has begun for The Heusers.  If you are thinking of moving or need a change due to your circumstance make sure you do your due diligence and find the right home for you and your family. I know for a fact that I don’t ever want to move again.

And on that note…..

I’m so sorry that I forgot to do a Call to Action 2 weeks ago. It was crazy and I was recording in an empty house while I should’ve been prepping it for move in. This week, however, I have something for you to do.

This week I want you to stop and take time for YOU!  Recharge your battery, do something for yourself, maybe that means doing nothing at all. Give yourself a break and let go. Enjoy some downtime. Go do something you love or do nothing at all. Watch a good movie, enjoy a glass of wine, take a dip in a pool, read a good book. Whatever you need to do to rest your body. I know I have needed some downtime. My body was quitting on me. I literally couldn’t pick up any more boxes, or unwrap any more glassware. I ended up taking about four days off for myself and my mental health.  I started to feel guilty about it then realized that if I didn’t rest I would be no good for anybody in my family.

Don’t forget to take care of you! You count! You are amazing! But everyone has a breaking point. I give you permission to take care of you!

Let me know what you end up doing for yourself. How do you take care of YOU? I’d love to hear, so send me a message and share with me how you recharge your battery.

 

And as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!

 

Much love,

Angie

To Move or Not To Move

To Move or Not To Move

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Changing Our Environment To Aid in Self-Preservation

We’re moving!!

It’s so real now!!! No turning back!

 

The end of another chapter. 😢

 

Well, this is it! I have been not been able to discuss this until now. As of 2 days ago we are officially new home owners, and of a ranch home. No more stairs for this amputee!! Laundry on the same level as my bedroom! Woo hoo!  I am not writing a lot here this week as I am currently standing in my new home, no furniture and people working around the house to get it ready for our official move next Tuesday, but I will tell you that moving as an amputee has been on our minds for 2 years (plus the years prior to amputation while I was dealing with multiple knee surgeries) but we just never felt it was the right time. Then out of nowhere, BAM! we found this beautiful home, perfect for all of us. The pieces all fell where they needed to and now a dream has become a reality. I am so blessed with a husband always working so hard and watching out for my needs. Our hope is that this will be the home we can retire in, have family visit, and watch grandbabies (a long ways off😉) grow up and play.

Below are some sneak peeks of the new home.

Also, check out my You Tube channel  

I made a video of my podcast in our new home. Please forgive my lack of editing and the echo as all of my office equipment has been packed-I’m in limbo!

 

Enjoy and as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

The new kitchen!

 

Long hallways in ranch homes! I’ll probably make my steps just by going back and forth in here!

 

 

My new and improved podcasting and crafting space!! Soooo excited!!

 

 

Out backyard is truly a desert oasis!🥰
Rise To The Challenge

Rise To The Challenge

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Run The Race Set Before You

 

It’s time to get off that couch and put your leg on. Let’s do this! If not today, then when?

I will tell you that the amputation wasn’t the end of a journey but the very beginning of another. Life is a journey so I don’t know why I thought any different with amputation. Now the real work comes in. You need to heal, and then get your socket fitted and THEN learn to walk all over again!  No one can truly prepare you for what’s to come with amputation but I will tell you that no matter what you are facing with yours, you CAN do anything! You just need to press on and learn to adapt.

For me it was about perseverance, distraction and goal setting. You will have good days and bad days, and knowing this will allow you to “bounce back” when the going gets tough. I didn’t realize this, at first, and when I began to struggle I thought it was going to be down, down, down, with no recovery…. that’s how my last 7 years had gone with surgeries, so why would this be any different? But then over the course of these past two years I realized that my residual limb changes size and shape and that will dictate how my socket fits, which, in turn, dictated some of my struggles and pains. But those bad moments, or struggles, were short lived and then good times would return. NOW that I know this I can take those “bad” days in stride, and not lose sleep over them (although, sometimes I do because of  the phantom pain 😉 Haha! Humor is good medicine, by the way.

Humor helps get through hard days. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.

 

I started my journey, back to walking, by deciding to give virtual races a try. I am highly competitive with myself so when I set a goal, I will succeed. My 1st race was 175 miles in 3 months. I started this one just a couple months after getting my prosthetic! I figured, what’s the best way to get use to your new leg- use it, and use it A LOT! I would need to put in 2 miles everyday to catch up since I registered a little late. You know what? It was hard! But I stuck with it, logged all my miles and made the goal of 175 miles! And the pure joy of receiving my finisher’s medal stuck with me…so I registered for the next one, which was 150 miles! and then the next one- 150 miles! I finished all of those and then began smaller more condensed goals of completing 5k walks/runs, virtually.  The idea of doing a race within a day put more pressure on me to compete at my highest level. I had to complete 3.1 miles all at once and some days that was really hard. Some of them I raced for better and faster times, other times I had to be content with just finishing.  You need to know your body well enough not to do harm but also to know when and how hard to push.

My first medal as an amputee! I’m very proud of this one!

 

 

These are all that I have completed since July 2019!! Each one of them I picked with purpose.

 

I have enjoyed all the races I’ve completed. There’s a sense of pride and accomplishment seeing all of my medals I’ve earned over the past 2 years as an amputee. These races have given me a purpose, goals, and independence as an amputee. I look and feel better then I have in a long time, and my mental health is at its peak. Listen  in to my podcast to hear more about how to get moving and what hurdles I overcame to finish all those medals these past 2 years.

Now it’s YOUR turn!

 

Check out these virtual races and register for one of them. Take baby steps to get there but get there! Challenge yourself to do and be something more. You’ll be surprised what you can accomplish when you set a goal and get moving. I guarantee you will feel better about yourself, and you’ll start making strides in your physical, mental and emotional state, plus you and your prosthetic will become friends! 😉

Check these out:

Virtual Strides

Virtual Pace Series

Gone For A Run

Will Run For Bling and Charity

This last one is where I met some amazing people and did my first 3 BIG long distance races (175, 150, and 150 mile races over a few months) If you want a challenge, check this site out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Each one of these holds meaning to me and I love every single one of my medals! They show me, when times get hard, that I can do it, I can succeed, and that my amputation doesn’t define or inhibit me!

 

Your Call to Action is to register to do a virtual race and do it by the end of June or if you need to, register now and build up to finishing by the end of July. Just don’t open that package until you’ve earned it. That’s how I did it because then I had something pushing me to finish. You’ve got this!!

You know I’m here for you! Send me a message, let me know how it’s going.

And as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Cheers,

Angie

 

I Am Who You Say I Am

I Am Who You Say I Am

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How My Faith Saved Me and Made Me Who I Am Today…..

HIS!

Faith: the assurance of what is hoped for, with the conviction of what is unseen.

 

This podcast goes deep as I share the other half of my story, the side of my story that I have only just recently shared with people outside my circle.  This story that gives you a glimpse into my Faith and belief system that has been in place all my life but really grounded me the most the past several years…. especially the months right before my amputation.

 

I don’t want to go into much detail here as I hope you listen because the raw emotion that spilled out during my recording I don’t share lightly, and am sort of embarrassed by as I don’t lose it like that when I record my episodes.

This side of my journey is special and a sacred part of my journey that I have decided was time to tell, in hopes it may help someone else.  Please listen, please share, please subscribe to my emails so you don’t miss an episode.

 

This past week I was blessed to go speak to a women’s Bible study group and share my faith journey. This stirred in me that people want and need to hear these type of stories, if only to build hope in this world we are living in.

Thank you to my good friend, Laurie Porter, for inviting me to speak, and to the ladies of the Fountain Hills Presbyterian Church, here in Arizona, for allowing me the time to speak and share my story with you. I am truly blessed to have met each of you and call you friends.


Grateful to these ladies for opening up their study group to me so I could share my story
and to my Dad who is in visiting from Illinois. What a trooper being surrounded by all these women!

 

 

My first socket-I chose a saying that helped me get through those hard firsts of prosthetic wearing.

 

Today’s is simple;

If you believe then really BELIEVE. God has got you no matter the circumstance, no matter the fight or battle you are in. Let go and stop trying to control the situation. Listen, be quiet, see what He is trying to say to you.

If you aren’t a believer then ask questions. If you are intrigued by my story and the words I spoke then please reach out to me. I’d love to share more with you and answer your questions. You are never too late to find this unique relationship I spoke of.

 

And as Always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Angie

Starting Point

Starting Point

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Again, and Again, and Again…..

Starting Line to my 1st race as an amputee, and as a St Jude Hero.

 

If someone asked you where your life began, or where you started out, you might answer, when you were born. Others may answer where they started their career or life as an adult, when they had to be responsible for themselves and maybe a spouse or significant other.

For me, my starting point is always changing, and comes around…OFTEN!

Of course we all start life at birth, then we grow, move out and start our own life.

If we get married and have kids, those are all new points, starting once again.

At 40 something years old, I thought most of my starting points were behind me but in December 2018 my life shifted greatly. I elected to amputate my left leg above the knee, and start over. This was a huge discussion and was quite tough to make. Many questions came to me, like- Would I die during surgery? Would I get an infection? Will I really learn to walk again, or hike or ski, for that matter? Did I have the energy and strength to begin again and learn to do everything I knew how to do (with 2 legs) now with just one?

When I woke after surgery I started over. A clean slate. A new beginning. As scary as that was, it was also a moment of new hope. I could dictate the outcome of my decision, to some degree, with my attitude, mindset, and fight. And that’s just what I did!

In this podcast I discuss what it’s like starting over. And how as an amputee we “start over” A LOT! Every new socket, the change in weather, a new pair of shoes, a change in prosthetics, from walking leg to running blade, etc.

Another new socket fitting by Randy West 5/3/2021

 

Stop and rest now and then. Life is a marathon NOT a sprint!

 

All of that feels new, and changes our perspective and outcomes of that moment, day or week.

This was my 3rd ski trip as an amputee-the first one without instructors!

 

Starting over isn’t for the weak or faint of heart.❤

And sometimes we succumb to the constant newness of our circumstance. I discuss options you have on how, as an amputee, you deal with these obstacles, and how your support system can help you navigate day to day living.

Remember, it’s all about your mindset, but even the most optimistic people hit roadblocks they struggle to get around. Give yourself a break. Have grace with yourself and don’t hold on to those struggles. They are inevitable, and we all deal with them. Take a step back, breathe, then move forward-head held high!

Roadblocks are a part of life. Embrace the challenge and ATTACK!
Smiling’s my favorite! 😁

 

You are a warrior! Press on, good and faithful soldier, press on.⚔

 

This week, I want you to look in the mirror, and look deep within yourself.  Praise yourself for how far you’ve come. Recognize your successes, let go of fears. Press onward. If you haven’t made a vision board yet, give that a go this week. Check out my own vision board HERE  for an example.

If you have a vision board already made, then maybe now is a good time to refresh and renew your dreams, goals, thoughts and mantras.  Good big!! Aim for the stars and realize that you can achieve what you put your mind and heart in to.

As always, I would love to hear how you are doing. Reach out to me. Follow me on Instagram at @angie_heuser and/or @bawarrior360. DM me our email me. Leave a comment here and let me know how your goals are coming along, if you need help, or if your are struggling.

I’m here for you!

And as always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

The Nerve of Some People

The Nerve of Some People

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Plastic Surgeons and TMR Surgery:
Tackling Phantom Limb Pain

 

Everyone deals with pain at some point in their life, but when you have an amputation you know that there is a possibility of living with a pain you can’t even touch! When the missing limb is burning, itching, throbbing, or sending sharp pains with every movement it can be unnerving -pun intended- and hard to get past.

I, like so many other amputees, have dealt with phantom limb pain since day one. Most of the time I can handle it, sometimes in the quiet of night it can be hard to fall asleep, but I have been able to deal with it.  The point when I could no longer take the pain was when I couldn’t even walk into my kitchen without the pain being so sharp and unpredictable that I stopped moving!  It takes A LOT to stop me! I have a high tolerance for pain, and this was just too much for me. I have to say, this freaked me out and made me worry that maybe this was going to be like this for the rest of my life…. and then I stepped back and gave myself a pep talk. I cannot allow myself to participate in defeatist talk. Negativity cannot reside in me, I won’t allow it. So, what did I do? I had an appointment with my prosthetist and my surgeon who performed my amputation.

I was scheduled for an MRI to see if there was a neuroma, sure enough, there was one, exactly where I felt the pain. Symptomatic, great!

Next step? My orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Judd Cummings, told me that I needed to see a plastic surgeon, and the one he suggested, who knows how to perform a surgery called TMR (Targeted Muscle Reinnervation), Dr. Roni Prucz.  He put his confidence, and my future, into this doctor’s hands… and I believed in him, so I went.

Dr. Roni Prucz
Phoenix Plastic Surgery

 

Now, I didn’t have ANY desire for yet another surgery, but I promised I’d go talk to him.  What harm could that do?

….And before I knew it, I was scheduled for surgery! Dang it!

Dr. Prucz seemed confident that he could successfully help me with the pain on the back of my residual limb, where the neuroma was, but the sharp pain that I felt ripping down my non-existent shin, he couldn’t promise that. I couldn’t pinpoint where the pain was originating from and so he would just have to do exploratory surgery in that area, and hope for the best.

Without the neuroma, my gait has become so much better, there was no more pain there. However, the sharp pain, in the other area of my limb, returned about 6 weeks after surgery, not as often and not as intense, but it reared its ugly head and my fears of life-long pain returned.

No matter what, I will rise!

 

This is where I needed to advocate for myself and not just say, “Oh well, we tried.” That wasn’t good enough for me. I needed answers and I needed this to be fixed, or at least feel better. I saw my prosthetist, then Dr. Prucz, and then over to Dr. Cummings, just trying to figure this out, gain perspective, and to see if anyone had any ideas. I would NOT rest until I had direction.

Yesterday I took my next step in helping myself, I tried a sympathetic nerve block in my L3 and….. so far, so good!!!

I needed something that didn’t require another surgery and this was a good next step, and quick. If it works then I may be looking at having that nerve bundle ablated. I’ve been moving around for 24 hours now and not feeling that pain. This is a good sign, but I hesitate to get too excited, too soon. I will do my thing, I will beat on my leg through my high level of activities, like hiking, and really push the limits of my leg and socket. For me that’s the best way to really test out what I’ve had done.

I really test my leg and socket whenever something new has been done to either of them

 

I hope this podcast gives you some insight to TMR surgery, if you’re a candidate, and how to go about finding the right person to perform this on you. As always, I’m here for you! Send me an email or leave a comment. I’d love to chat and answer any questions you might have about what I went through. Talking to people who’ve been through something will help give you perspective and  maybe even curb fears you might have.

 

 

This week I want you to let go of the past, start looking to future. We cannot move forward if all we are doing is wishing we had back what we use to have. If you’ve lost a limb, it’s gone, there’s nothing you can do about it. The choice is up to you how you’ll view this difference. The choice is yours on how you will pursue your future. You can have a pity party, or you can decide to set new goals, change direction from the course you use to be on BEFORE losing your limb, and rise up!

The time is now! Dream big! Set new goals.  Adapt and move on with your life. I know there will be setbacks, I know there will be moments of pain, but they do not define you. Your attitude and what you do with your circumstance DOES!  What are you going to do? I want to see you thrive! I want to see you challenge yourself! I want you to rise up and conquer, because YOU are a warrior!  Now go out and crush it!

 

Until next time:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

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