Tag: facing fears

Independence

Independence

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Freedom and Joy in Movement

 

What do you dream about doing or accomplishing?

As amputees we tend to struggle with getting back out there, worried that we won’t be able to live full lives filled with goals set and conquered, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Yes, the first couple of years there is a lot of changes taking place with your body, and a whole new routine of being fitted for your prosthesis every few months, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be getting active and finding the joy of becoming independent once again.

Prior to my amputation I spent 5 years in surgeries, icing and elevating my leg, and going to appointments. I had no time to do anything else, and my life became a series of tasks in hopes of getting better, but not truly living. I had no time to dream about the next ski trip or learning a new sport, I was in survival mode, plain and simple.

However, I set many goals for myself to accomplish by one year post-amputation. I never thought, “What if I can’t do this?” or “That’s not possible.” I just set my goals and worked toward them. No one told me that maybe I was being to aggressive on myself, or that I was dreaming too big. My family and friends just walked alongside of me, supporting me through it all.

What I can tell you about that first year is this: I was so happy! I found joy in life once again! I never looked back with regrets to having had the amputation, and in that first year I knew that I could do anything I put my mind to.

 

Life is meant to be lived fully. I aim to try new things whenever the opportunity arises!

 

The point: We each are traveling on our own unique journey, but we all want to have independence and the feeling of freedom that comes with that, this truly goes for those of us who have been laid up, or stuck in a medical crisis. Setting goals to keep us on track and moving forward is key to feeling the freedom of independence once again.

When I speak to other amputees about what they want to get back to doing to make them feel productive, and independent in life, some of the most basic life skills is what they speak of first; dressing themselves, standing in their kitchen to wash dishes or make a meal. Basic, right? But that’s what makes us feel productive and useful. I know I couldn’t wait to show my family that I could serve them the way I use to, before the accident. And when we experience these baby steps of accomplishment it leaves us thirsting for more!

The goals and aspirations grow and change. As we build strength and stamina, as we get better at using our prosthesis, we begin to really dream of the possibilities. That’s when the real fun begins, and the joy from accomplishing goals becomes a need not just a want.

So, What do you dream about accomplishing? What will give you back your independence or freedom?

Dare to dream because being an amputee isn’t what it use to be. You can do anything you put your mind to, if only you dare!

 

This week I want you to make a list of the things you most want to do. Maybe tasks around the house or at work. Maybe just getting dressed or making the bed. It doesn’t have to be big, monumental tasks or goals, just ones that will make you feel good that you can do on your own again.

It is also ok to add, to your list, goals for the future. Remember, dreaming is what keeps us motivated and moving forward.

Don’t be afraid to add whatever is on your heart. This is a great time to not think about the “how” of these longterm goals, just dream!

Finding independence again, is such a blessing and brings great joy.

Just remember to START WHERE YOU’RE AT.

Know that with these new goals there may be some fear or anxiety, but with anything worth achieving we must all face fears. I do all the time. Just remember what you’re made of. Remember what you’ve been through. YOU ARE A WARRIOR!!

Now make that list and start tackling those dreams!

 

I hope you all have a blessed week, thank you for listening,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

Bunker Hill- 297 steps to the top! I was nervous but I did it!
In The Beginning

In The Beginning

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What to Expect as a New Amputee

 

As with anything new there is a learning curve. Becoming an amputee is no different. However, since few people know of anyone that’s an amputee before they, themselves, become one, there are so many questions without answers.

It seems overwhelming, confusing and quite scary.

Have no fear, even though each one of us is very different as we deal with our own amputation, we also have many similar benchmarks or stages we go through.

First thing you need to know is that you will get through this and you are going to do great. If you can embrace that mindset, a mindset of positivity, then you are already on your way to bringing that to fruition.

I believe in manifesting my own destiny and I have deep faith in my purpose and that the journey I am on was set before me by a higher power.

Speak positive and empowering words to yourself, and you will manifest positive and empowering outcomes.

After your surgery you will have time to adjust to your new body image and center of gravity, time to rest and heal, and time to prepare for what’s to come. At this point it’s a great idea to focus on getting some core strength back and balance. These things you can work on as you wait for the fitting process.

Me trying on my very first socket (L) and me a couple sockets later (R). See the weight change?

 

Adjustments are always being made, even when the socket feels right the leg direction can be off (too far forward leaning, not adducted enough). These things depend on your type of amputation and your hip alignment.

 

I’ve been fortunate enough to take my “test socket” home and work out in it to make sure it is made to withstand the riggers of my activity levels.

 

Here’s how my guy, Randy, creates my sockets. He casts my residual limb.

 

Once you’ve been given the green light by your surgeon that you are ready to be fitted for your prosthesis then you will head to your prosthetist’s office, discuss your goals, dreams, activity levels and where you want to be and where you see yourself in the future. This will help them fit you correctly and get you the best prosthesis for you and your goals.

Your prosthetist will create a “test socket” for you-this could take a couple of weeks- and then you will go in, try it on, walk around in it and they will adjust it for a more comfortable fit, then off you go with your brand new leg.

PT should begin at this point, if you haven’t already been working with one to gain core strength and balance.

I know this can be scary and you might feel apprehensive at first but remember, they want to help you succeed at walking and using your prosthesis correctly so you don’t hurt yourself.

Communicate with them, let them know what feels good and doesn’t feel good, what scares you, what you don’t understand, and what you want to be able to do. Discuss your dreams and goals with them.

Now as you start using your new leg you will start noticing changes in your volume of your leg. The more you start doing life again the more your volume of your residual limb will change and then you run into the frustrating aspect of being an amputee, the socket fit.

You can literally get a brand new socket made to fit your leg perfectly and the very next day it won’t feel as snug. You’ll start to add socks on top of your liner, one after the next, just to accommodate your leg shrinking in size. The more socks you use the less connected you will feel and then you won’t trust your prosthesis to stay in place and behave the way it should.

But don’t worry, your prosthetist will be taking measurements and once those measurements align with your insurance company’s guidelines you can be fitted for a new socket.

The problem?

It is the whole process all over again!

You get a new casting of your limb (some cast, some use digital renderings, just depends on what they like to use), they create a new “test socket” and adjust it to fit nice and snug. Next they create a new final socket and you go back in, try it on, walk around, make adjustments and then you’re on your way…..until this one begins to fit poorly.

The reality: the first 2-3 years are a series of nicely fitting socket, loosening, refitting, recreating, and then all over again.

I, myself, went through 16 sockets in the first 3 years!

The sooner you know and understand this sequence of events, the better it is for you to mentally grasp the journey so these moments don’t gut punch you and make you feel like a failure, or that you’re doing something wrong, or that this is heading down an irreversible path.

Embrace this journey.  It is unique and challenging, but you will learn so much about yourself and build so much character, and experience, so quickly.

No one has the same experiences as they become an amputee but this is a basic outline of some pretty typical moments you will see to some degree.

Just remember you are stronger than you think and you will make it through this.

 

 

Plain and simple, this week I want you to face those fears.

I know you and see you. You are getting ready to head into your first physical therapy and have no idea how you will manage. You are worried you won’t be able to tolerate the leg, that you aren’t strong enough or even brave enough for this life….but you are!

As I tell myself when I encounter something that puts fear into my heart and doubt into my brain, “One step at a time, Ang”.

I can do anything, one step at a time.

One Step At A Time. Yes, that can be a metaphor, but I mean it literally.

You will NOT be asked to do stairs on your first day of PT, nor will they ask you to try running.

Baby steps is how you start. Just as a small child learns to crawl before they stand, stand before they walk, and walk before they run, you too, will go through these sort of “baby steps”. You are doing something for the first time. It takes, strength, balance, mobility, and practice to get it right, and even then you still won’t have it down. I still catch myself not walking with a good gait and making corrections. That’s ok, it takes time.

Enjoy the journey.

Embrace what scares you and make the most of these moments.

You can do this, look how far you’ve already come!

 

Have a blessed week and get after it!

Rise up, Warrior, rise up!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Fear of Being Uncomfortable

Fear of Being Uncomfortable

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Skiing as an Amputee

 

The Canyons, Park City, Utah 2024

 

I don’t know about you but, sitting in a lodge, sipping a drink in front of a fire sounds wonderful. Doesn’t it?

However, I did that for 5 years, while my family all skied and I sat there with tears in my eyes, missing those special moments I knew I’d never get back.

My husband taught me to ski when we were teenagers. We had dreams of teaching our own kids someday and the retiring and skiing through life. 2013 struck me with a knee injury that sidelined me for 5 years! Then, by 2018 I elected to amputate my left leg above the knee.

 

My first goal, 3 1/2 months after amputation?  SKI!

Nice and easy

 

This is why I face my fears

 

Looks like I have 2 legs!!

 

Fast forward to last week and I can honestly tell you that despite my love of skiing and being with my family up on the mountains again, the fears I face before each day really try to take me down. Facing fears is no easy task, and yes, while sitting by the fireplace and sipping a drink in the warmth of a lodge is amazing, NOTHING compares to facing your fears and coming out on top! Not to mention, I will never regret getting out and living my life versus watching it pass before my eyes. I want to live life, and maybe that’s a product of being sidelined for so many years, but I won’t allow my irrational fears take me out of living my best life with my family.

 

Of course I’m going to challenge you to face a fear of yours. You don’t need to be an amputee, either. We all have fears that we can choose to face or turn away from. If you have been turning away, now is the time to stand up straight, adjust your hat, and take it head on! You won’t regret trying, succeed or fail. Because no matter the outcome, you did it! You faced a fear, overcame that emotion and gave it your best. No matter the outcome, you will know you tried and can feel great about yourself for going the distance.

Don’t let fears derail you and your goals. Stay the course, buckle down for the ride, and know that there is no sweeter victory than facing your fears like the true warrior you are and were built to be!

 

So today, decide what you are afraid of and take it on! Despite the butterflies, emotions that well up and want to hold you back, and no matter the outcome. Just go for it!

Rise up, warriors, rise up and face your fears head on! You will NOT regret it!!

 

Have a beautiful and blessed week!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Maybe I’ll see you on the mountains some day♥

Bouncing Back with Mike Coots

Bouncing Back with Mike Coots

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Shark Attack Survivor to Shark Advocate: A True Bounce Back Story

Pictures in the Deep

 

Facing the creature who turned his life upside down… head on and with love and respect. Truly inspiring!

 

This is one story of bouncing back that has always stood out to me. Since I first met Mike, on Kauai, to our first interview in 2021, and watching his path widen, deepen, and become more powerful and enlightening, I have been in awe of his love for the one thing that did him harm. And quite frankly, that speaks volumes to me… not just about Mike, but about sharks! If someone is a victim of a shark attack and literally turns around to advocate for them and their rightful place as the apex predator of the ocean, AND portrays them as beautiful, and graceful creatures to be saved and admired, then I need to listen up and educate myself past the fears that have been instilled in me by Hollywood since I was a child.

This is Mike’s mission through his photographs and advocacy stance in DC.

Forgiveness was given, and a new path is being forged between the victim and the perpetrator.

This is the true meaning of healing on the inside.

When Mike was just 18 years old, with dreams of becoming a professional surfer, this nightmare couldn’t have been farther from his mind. Yet, with support from his family and community he took a huge setback and created a new life for himself.  He studied, met people, watched for doors to open, and went with the flow of his new path, which all led him to forgiveness, empathy, love, and partnership with the one thing that almost took his life.

Mike and the Tiger Shark

 

His setback became the set up for the life he lives now, and the life he adores.

When he was asked if he would change the day of his attack, to keep his legs and become that professional surfer, do you know what he said?

 

 

Back at it!

 

Listen in to hear his answer.

Listen in to hear what happened that fateful day, and to hear what new adventures he is on.

Thank you, Mike, for your time and telling your story, and for being the voice of a misunderstood creature in our oceans.

Mahalo!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

Facing My Fears

Facing My Fears

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New Year, New Season: Welcome to Season 3!

Wow! It’s 2023 and we are on to season 3 for Be-YOU-tiful Adaptive Warrior! Welcome back, and a special welcome to first timers! I hope you take a listen to some of my old episodes and find some help or comfort in my words on the journey you are on.
I am an above knee amputee trying my best to empower others to live their best lives, despite their circumstances.  This means I speak of my life and the reality of becoming an amputee and living day to day, the good, the bad and the ugly of it. I am transparent with my journey as it is NOT all roses. I am hoping by speaking the truth of my journey you won’t feel alone in your struggles and circumstances, and you can see that despite the hard times, you can still live a good, full, and happy life.  So come join me on this journey called life. Subscribe to my podcast, website, and YouTube channel. Don’t forget to like and share as you explore my sites. I appreciate you!
So where have I been? For those of you who have listened in and followed me you may have noticed my lack of podcasts in December.
I spent the past 4 weeks being fully present with my family, traveling, skiing and staying away from social media, but it’s good to be back! I have missed this.
Several weeks ago, our family went skiing and as much as I love skiing, it truly pushes me WAY out of my comfort zone, now as an amputee, and into a fearful, anxiety ridden state of mind. I’m not sure why it’s like that but it is. I decided that I can choose to cave to fear or face it.
This episode is dedicated to facing fears.  We all have them, we all have to decide how to handle them, so why not discuss this as we begin a new year that is filled with uncertainties, struggles, and new fears that will inevitably arise in the next 365 days.
I don’t want you to stress about the future, as today is all you need to deal with, but you should be prepared for the ups and downs.
Sometimes you’ll be prepared, and yet other times you’ll feel like you got sucker punched by a situation. How will you handle it? Will you face the storm or shy away? Will you rise up or cower? You can’t totally prepare for unknown situation or problem, but you can start positive habits and behaviors now so when hard times arise you are stronger and positive enough to handle them.
It’s time to strengthen your self-esteem and resolve. Prepare for the battles ahead, dear Warriors. You can do this, I know you can!!
Until next week and as always:
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!!
Much love,
Angie
Making It Count

Making It Count

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Rising to a Challenge and Facing Your Fears

 

You just never know what’s on the other side of fear. But I can tell you, from experience, that I have never regretted a moment that I have taken the chance and faced a fear. I feel empowered and alive! I feel like I could do anything I set my mind to, and it doesn’t matter if I succeed or fail, what matters is that I try.

This past week I tried something new, as an amputee: waterskiing! I haven’t been waterskiing since well before my injury, but it has been on my amputee bucket list. I was excited when the opportunity presented itself to me, but I also felt very anxious, and at one point in time thought I wouldn’t go, and I could easily make an excuse why I couldn’t make it.

My personality (and my pride) wouldn’t allow me to make up an excuse and so I went, and you know what? Even though, I was a bit nervous, had no idea how it would all go down, who would be on my boat with me, or how it might have to be adapted for my circumstance, I tried. All in all, I had a great time and finally found my groove on the boom and got up and skied!! It was exhilarating and freeing.  I felt alive and capable.

Every time I run into something I fear, once I give it a try, I am reassured that I can do anything I put my mind to. And like I said before, success or failure, the idea of trying and overcoming our fears is all that really matters. There is something so motivating about pushing our limits, real or imagined, facing fears and rising to a challenge. It’s empowering, it’s freeing, and makes you feel alive!

 

Each picture below shows me doing something that originally made me nervous or unsure of myself. Now I enjoy doing them and they make me feel whole, healthy, and bring joy to my life.

 

 

 

Now is the time! Your time to try. Your time to rise. Don’t let fear control you or rule over your life and how you live it. Regret is an awful thing to have.

Choose something you’ve been curious about trying or something on your bucket list. Choose something that makes you nervous, anxious, or makes you feel fearful. Now go for it! Make sure you aren’t doing something that your support system or doctors have told you not to do at this moment because of your condition, please know your medical boundaries.

Maybe start with baby steps to get to your goal of achieving something. Remember, life is a journey. It’s meant to last and be enjoyed. Like my waterskiing. I got up on the boom but need to work on getting up on the long rope. Goals. It’s ok to fail. Just get out there and try! Enjoy the journey and where you’re at right now. Everything happens in due time.

You can do it! Believe in yourself and reach for the stars!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Somebody’s Watching Me

Somebody’s Watching Me

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….. And They’re Watching You, Too.

I know, that sounds creepy but it’s not what you think.  Did you know that you influence and impact more people daily than you realize?

As a parent I knew right away that my boys were watching me, my every move, even when it appeared that they were enthralled in a movie, game, or activity! They’d say something, or repeat me, or act the way I did. Wow! What an eye opener that was for me as a mom. Now as an amputee I am realizing that people are watching, every move feels like it’s being monitored.

At first you might think they are just being rude and it makes you feel uncomfortable, almost paralyzing, afraid of stumbling or looking weak and incapable; at least that’s how I felt.  Then I decided to make eye contact and smile….and you know what?  People started opening up!  They’d ask if it was rude to ask what happened, if I was a vet, if I’m comfortable in a prosthetic.  Some people would tell me about their journey and rough patches they were going through. Some even asked my thoughts on amputation because they were at that juncture in their own life.  I mean, wow!

Connection. Comradery. Compassion.

People are curious, they have questions and want to understand what it’s like to be an amputee and what makes us tick.

After my journey from injury to amputation, and now beyond, I feel it is my purpose, and obligation, to help others. If I have experiences that can help someone else through their trials then I need to share my experiences, good and bad. I have found that talking with others, sharing my story, my journey, not only gives them insight and a foundation to help them along their path, it also fills my bucket up, motivates me, and puts a spring in my step that day.

I love sharing my story with anyone who asks. I love showing curious children my leg and helping their parents understand that it’s ok for their children to be curious and ask questions.  I wished more amputees were so open, but the reality is that some are hurting inside, struggling to make sense of what they are going through, wondering if they can carry on.  If that’s you, I’m sorry you are going through that, but know you are not alone and you don’t have to be stuck in that mental space.

Break free from those mental and physical confines by sharing your experience, you’ll be surprised how healing that can be.  When you share your story, you let go of some of those hard emotions by allowing others to absorb them, listening to you, and validating your feelings and struggles.  And when they share their own struggles in reply you’ll realize you AREN’T alone after all, which is such a load off your heart.

I’m telling you, it is an AMAZING feeling to share your journey, your struggles, your successes with people who are strangers that become invested and lift you up with their words.

Embrace that you are different. Share your story, you may help someone along the way. I know you’ll be helping yourself when you do.

 

 

This week I challenge you to make eye contact, smile and see what relationships you create, and who’s lives you’ll touch with your story. It’s time to face the fears you have about your circumstance. It won’t be easy for some of you but I can tell you that I haven’t met a person who hasn’t made a difference in my life when I’ve made those connections.  I love telling people what I went through. I’m proud of the courage it took me to get here. I’m proud of how hard I’ve worked to get over being self-conscience, and how hard I’ve worked to achieve things some people never thought I could do as an amputee.  Be proud of your story and the scars you have, and share it with who ever is curious. You will feel liberated and find healing in opening up.

Get out there and be brave. Share your journey.  You have so much to offer this world.

As always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

Angie

 

 

Baby Steps

Baby Steps

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 32:00 — 32.4MB)

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What’s holding you back from achieving your goals?

What fears are keeping you from living your best life?

Today I talk about creating baby steps to reaching the goals you have and how I faced a fear of my own yesterday. Baby steps to reaching your goals are still steps toward your goals. They need to be celebrated and you should feel great when you do accomplish them. So much of my past few years you’ve seen me do big things: skiing, surfing, hiking large mountains, but sometimes it’s the small steps that mean the most. Yesterday was one of those days. Join me as I share how stressful yesterday was but how I chose to see the positive in the baby steps. #babysteps #keepmovingforward #runningblade #ottobock #wiggleyourtoes #adaptiveathlete #ampstrong #amputeelife #aka #facingfears #challenges #calltoaction

 

Gym time

 

My 1st race
Starting line of the Phoenix Rock n Roll Marathon

 

 

2 parts to this week’s CTA:

  1. Figure out what is holding you back from achieving something you want, set small, baby step goals to get yourself there.  Like I did yesterday on the treadmill, it was only for 10 minutes and I wasn’t running, but I got myself out in public to attempt something I hadn’t done in over a year.
  2. Have grace with those around you. We never know what battles people are facing, but assume they are if they aren’t being nice, and remind yourself that it has nothing to do with you, and move on.

 

 

 

As always:

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

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