Tag: choices

The Process

The Process

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Healing Physically, Adapting Mentally and Emotionally

 

Amputation isn’t just the act of amputating a limb.

It isn’t just surgery, heal, and walk.

This is a process. It takes time, money, patience, and a whole lot of grit!

Unfortunately, most patients that knowingly go into amputation surgery can’t comprehend the struggles to come. For those who didn’t choose or prep for amputation, they have no idea of the life that’s ahead of them. For them, their emotional and mental state need to heal first, while they wait for their physical healing. They had their life torn apart by disease or war or an accident.

Whichever category you fall into know that you will get through this but it takes time, and commitment. You will need to work on, what I feel are, the four major components of successfully navigating amputee life: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Financial.

Physical:

Obviously, you will take time to heal. You will need to learn to rebalance with less weight on one side of your body and also how to get around with crutches, a walker, or a wheelchair. You need to heal your incision but also the bone, muscle, and tissue. It was told to me that true healing takes up to 12 months. Within that time you will also experience new sensations and possibly phantom pains, all of which you will learn to adapt and work through. The whole wearing of a shrinker and then being cleared for a socket is a whole other side of the physical aspect you will need to come to grips with.

 

 

Mental:

As an elected amputee I had four months to prepare my mind for what was to come. I could ask questions, meet people, find peace with my decision, and set my future goals and dreams. Setting goals and daring to dream of a brighter future post-amputation is invaluable and can set you up for success. Manifesting your own destiny with a powerful and positive mindset is key! Get your mental game lined up as soon as you can.

 

 

Emotional:

Being ready to face your new life and new look is extremely important. Understanding how to deal with some of the struggles and hurdles you will face is hard to prepare for ahead of time, just know that when you do face a hardship that you need to take a step back, take a deep breathe and understand that these moments will end and good times will happen again. This journey is filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, pains and peace.

If you have dealt with an amputation due to someone else’s negligence, like an accident you were involved in, then you may have some extra baggage to address with your emotions, anger and hate. These emotions are poison to your healing. They can create some major problems for you and ultimately stifle your level of success as an amputee. Letting go of negativity will allow for healing and growth.

 

 

Insurance/Money:

My general practitioner gave me great advice ahead of my surgery, to contact my insurance company so I knew and understood my coverage and the rules of external prosthesis, but even then I got the short end of the stick (listen in to hear what happened!).

Remember that prosthetics are your new ‘forever’, being able to afford them or having coverage for them is highly important. Be prepared for what’s to come so you don’t feel like you’ve been duped. The reality is that you may be looking to get a new one every 3 years (most prosthetics have a 3 year warranty-at least that’s what I deal with as an above knee amputee with MPKs).

I wished more people had some of these basic facts before their surgery, but you learn as you go, that’s how my journey happened, and is still happening. Everyone’s experience is different, and you need to do what you need to do to embrace your new life as an amputee. The best teacher is time and experience.

 

 

 

 

This week is simple in detail but tough to execute.

Look yourself in the mirror and address what weakness you have and where you struggle the most in your life.

Are you weaker inner mental game or physical (being strong and healthy is important pre-surgery)?

Is your emotional state a struggle?

Be honest with yourself and really try to address your weaknesses.

Next, list your goals and dreams. Dare to go big! Manifest your future with positivity and standards you want to achieve and live up to. These will save you in times of struggle and give you incentive to keep fighting.

 

Being prepared doesn’t mean you won’t fall and falter, but it will give you a head start of your new life as an amputee.

Give yourself a fighting chance and reap the benefits of your preparedness and positive mindset.

You are stronger than you think and more resilient than you’ll ever know.

Rise up, Warriors, and prepare for battle!

 

Cheers to a blessed week ahead,

And until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

 

What Is Really Important

What Is Really Important

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Knowing Who and What To Ask About Amputation

 

 

Becoming an amputee is so surreal. Electing to have it done is a choice I never thought I would have to make.

It brings about fears, anxieties, questions, and so much uncertainty.

How do you know life will be better?

What if I can’t wear a prosthesis?

Will I walk again or will I be in a wheelchair the rest of my life?

How long does it take to heal from an amputation

Do I get a leg right away?

Is walking like riding a bike, easy once you do it again?

How do I find a prosthetist?

Do I need to go to PT while I’m healing or after I get a leg?

So many questions, yet so many more that you may not even be thinking of.

How do you know what to ask your doctor? What type of doctor is best for this surgery?

Who is the most important person in your life right now, or how about in 5-10 years?

Most of these questions I, myself, didn’t even know that I had because I didn’t know I needed to ask them.

But I got lucky, or maybe it was fate.

My surgeon was amazing.

He sent me to the best prosthetist in town at The Limb Center.

The Limb Center sent me to an amazing, caring physical therapist at Touchstone Rehabilitation.

They were my team, and besides my family, they were my biggest supporters and fighters for my life, dreams, and goals.

 

Listen in today, and please share this episode with someone you know is going through, or about to go through, amputation. It may give them a better than fighting chance of knowing more about what is to come and allow them to find greater success as an amputee.

We all have a warrior spirit within us just waiting to be called out.

You need to educate yourself, and learn to fight for the life you want.

Now is the time to be that warrior, so rise up, dear Warrior, and pave the path to your successes.

I hope you find something that helps you, motivates you, and supports you in this episode. Don’t forget to like and subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.

Have a blessed week ahead.

And as always,

 

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Revise Or Not To Revise

To Revise Or Not To Revise

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That is the Question

Amputation is a difficult road, one that can change direction quickly, even after you heal.

For many amputees the surgical side of their life isn’t over. Many of us end up needing a TMR surgery or even a revision, while others will have to amputate even higher! Going from a below knee to an above knee amputation is life changing because one amputation is completely different from the next. What is required of you to be able to walk again, heal again, and trust again takes its toll.

So why do revisions happening? Why are they required for so many?

For some people their bone density is compromised. For others, bones spurs grow causing pain, And still others, myself included, find foreign objects left in their limb that no longer serve a purpose and only cause distress for the nerves. There are so many reasons that revision is brought up in doctor offices around the world and so many amputees who find it hard to wrap their head around being opened up again.

 

 

This past summer, just 8 weeks ago, I had this very choice. I was a possible candidate for an experimental surgery that I wasn’t sure the rewards were worth the risks, until we did a CT scan finding a foreign object coming out of my femur, causing the pains I have been dealing with for 6 years!

But what if your story isn’t so clear cut? How do you decide that revision is right for you?

 

 

 

Make a list of pros and cons about your revision.

Compare them and talk about them with your family and the people who support you.

Be open minded, not all revisions are necessary and timelines change.

Allow the chips fall where they may and be attentive to what’s going on around you: how have you been feeling, how’s the pain, is there something specific that you really must have done (maybe you have an underlying infection-you don’t want to wait on that one), maybe you’ve been promised a “nicer” looking residual limb.

Whatever it is, weigh that in your mind and on your list, and ask, is it necessary, and if the surgery doesn’t go as planned are you ready for that outcome?

And finally, something I’ve always believed in, Mindset and Manifestation.

 

 

Make your decision then, if you’re going for it, leave the “what if’s” behind and start setting your goals and VISUALIZING your successes post-revision. Your brain is powerful and where you led it, it will follow!

You are stronger than you know, dear Warrior!!!

It’s time to rise up!

Have a blessed day,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

The Secret Sauce

The Secret Sauce

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Letting Go and Leaning In

 

I have been an amputee for 6 1/2 years, but before that I had a taekwondo injury that took me through 5 years, 10 surgeons and 10 surgeries, plus a blood clot to decide it was time to start living again and make the biggest decision of my life.

Alone in the decision, I was not. I had an amazing support system with my husband, two boys and my family back home. I had friends rallying around me and a church I belonged to. However, I was exhausted.

I had put so much energy into saving my leg that I had depleted all of my positivity and resolve. How was I ever going to come terms with cutting off my leg?

Today I want to share with you all my story of Faith. I feel it is time to be true to myself and honor my beliefs.

I could NOT have done this without my “Secret Sauce”.

I get asked a lot how I handled making this big decision and how I keep going despite the pains and trials of being one leg down. I did NOT do it alone, but it takes something more than cheerleaders in my life. No, my “secret sauce” is greater than anything else, greater than my own drive or perfectionism. I needed to find peace and purpose in my decision.

If you are struggling my hope is that this brings some answers and help for you. Maybe you are curious as to where my positivity comes from or my resolve. Today I share my profound experience with my Faith that changed EVERYTHING in a moment…and I have never looked back.

I hope my experience helps you and opens a door you never knocked on. Let me know. Reach out to me with your own profound experience with faith over fear, or just let me know how you struggle. I would love to help you through my own challenges. There is no need to go it alone or to feel abandoned. You have a great cheer;eager in your corner that wants you to live a great life. Trust and look up, Warriors!

 

I hope you all have a blessed day and as always,

‘Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be You!!

 

Much love,

Starting Over and Facing Fears

Starting Over and Facing Fears

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Life after Revision Surgery for an Amputee

 

 

I must have been crazy, right? To CHOOSE to revise my amputation! To go from being uber active to starting over?!?!

Golfing on Kauai

 

Having fun catching waves

 

At the beginning of this interview process, to be eligible for the AMI procedure, I was very interested in the idea of being a part of something so “cutting edge” (pun intended) and chose to continue through the several interview steps to see if I was even eligible.

When it came down to having to go out to Boston for a face to face interview I knew that it was getting very real and that the decision to have it done was going to be all mine. That’s when I started to second guess myself and the reason why I would want to go through that again.

Decisions need to be made, but with a good, clear reason and with no doubts. I couldn’t do something like that again, and have my family be put out because of it… and what if? What if I was as good as I could get? What if I feel more phantom pains? What if, this time I get an infection and start down a harder road than ever before?

I will tell you that I never put those questions in my head or spoke of them before the surgery, but the reality is, those are the concerns that hide in the dark, when you are anxious, vulnerable, weak. These are the doubts that create fear, and then stop us from charging forward and achieving greatness.

Needless to say, my CT scan showed something that had to be dealt with that had nothing to do with the AMI and everything to do with the pains I had been dealing with for 6 years! THAT was what made my decision one I was at peace with. Now here I am 3 weeks post-op.

Starting PT the day after surgery and having those flooding pains upon walking

 

My biggest support and the guy who has always had my back! <3

 

Back at the hotel and trying to rest

 

Fear is such a disabling emotion. It stops us from trying new things, meeting new people, and reaching our goals.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to live a life where I’m not reaching out and living a full and amazing life because fear holds me back.

What fears are stopping you? What goals are you not hitting because you worry about the “What ifs”?

 

 

This week and each day in it I want you to face a fear!

It doesn’t have to be huge, like jumping from a plane, but what’s holding you back from living a full and happy life?

What scares you?

What goals have you been sitting on because something keeps you from achieving them, that YOU control?

Let’s face those fears together and start living!

You are a warrior, you need to believe it and know you have that within you!

You are strong, powerful, and capable!

Now get out there and SLAY YOUR FEARS!!!!

F-ace

E-verything

A-nd

R-ise

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

Choosing the Hard Road

Choosing the Hard Road

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Starting Over Isn’t Easy

 

Who would choose to take a harder road, isn’t life hard enough?

And who would decide to start over after working hard to be high functioning?

What would possess someone to put that sort of challenge in front of them?

Last October I was approached by Dr. Carty’s office, in Boston, if I was interested in doing a study with them. I decided to learn more and had an hour long phone interview with his assistant. This interview led to a second interview with Dr. Carty himself, which inevitably led to a final face-to-face appointment with Dr. Carty, and a decision had to be made.

 

Dr. Matthew Carty

 

Ironically, before having the initial interview I was doing just fine where I was. Yes, I had pains, but I thought they were pretty normal and unavoidable for an amputee. However, from October to January I started having more pains and some really strong break through pains, finally ending with a huge blister on the end of my residual limb. That’s what led to my prosthetist making me a new socket.

My thoughts were leaning more towards doing this study, which entailed reopening my original amputation and having some reconstruction done. I knew something wasn’t totally right in my limb so I asked to be checked for a possible neuroma when I went in for my face-to-face appointment. If something showed up then I was ready to have the surgery, and sure enough we found something….

There was a foreign object hanging out of my femur with a bursa surrounding it!!! I was stunned and decided right there that I was going through with this surgery.

 

Post surgery walk with PT

 

It seems pretty obvious to have a surgery, but the fact is, it was a big decision.

This not only affects me but also my family.

It also sets me back several months and begins the process again as if I am a new amputee. That is quite the undertaking, for a second time, and I’m not getting any younger.

So why?

Released from the hospital-the smile says it all!

 

My belief is that we can learn so much about ourselves when we face adversity. We also grow so much more when we are up against hard times. Since becoming an amputee back in 2018 I have met some amazing people, found a deeper and more meaningful purpose in helping people, started this podcast and created a women’s chat group. My life became richer and changed me, and I saw what I was meant to do in this life. With this mindset I couldn’t help but see God’s hand in this setup this time around and I truly am sitting here ready to accept the challenge, grow stronger and spiritually deeper, and accept what is to come, knowing that there is a greater plan for me than I could ever imagine. I wait excitedly for who will come into my life and how this new path will mold and change me.

 

Life on one leg again… this will be at least an 8 week lifestyle.

 

I accept this challenge with the hopes of becoming a better person and gain more experiences to help others.

This is why I chose a harder path, the path that includes pain, setbacks, change and uncertainty.

I believe that growth happens when we step out of our comfort zone and take chances.

I believe God has a plan that is far greater than I could ever create or imagine.

I choose to believe that I am a warrior, ready for the fight and ready to rise up again, stronger and even better than before.

How about you? Are you ready to accept the challenge that is in front of you?

 

Are you in a place that you have a setback? Are you struggling to find the motivation to rise up and unleash the warrior within you?

This week I want you to focus on 2 things:

Your nighttime and morning rituals.

If you are like me you probably check your phone before bed and also when you get up in the morning. I am going to challenge both you and I to adjust this.

At night before you fall asleep look at your calendar for tomorrow. See what’s on your schedule and then what you want to accomplish, whether it is running errands or reading a book. Visualizing completing your goals for tomorrow. Now get some good rest.

As you wake in the morning, don’t reach for that phone until you’ve done two things: taken several long, deep breathes and then run through your goals and visualizing how you’ll get them done.

Make this a daily practice and begin chasing your mindset to accomplishing everything you want to accomplish.

I hope this Call to Action helps you begin a new and productive practice that allows you to grow and feel accomplished.

Remember, you were born to do great things and you have a warrior spirit in you, you just need to find that inner strength.

So Rise Up, Warrior, Rise Up!

 

Have a beautiful week,

Know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much Love,

 

 

 

Stressed Out!!

Stressed Out!!

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Dealing With Stress to Alleviate Phantom Pain

 

Ahhh, stress!

It wouldn’t be a day or a week without something triggering stress. A bid decision, a deadline, a fight with a friend, or even traffic!

As amputees we also face the uphill battles of healing, socket fittings, sores and painful steps, and phantom pains. Sometimes it feels like we never get a break. It feels like the weight of the world is placed on our shoulders and we can’t come up for air.

What we all need to learn is that every time we feel stressed out we have, in our own power, the ability to change the outcome. We control the narrative and we control how we come out on the other side.

“Mind over Matter” isn’t just a cliche it is truth.

 

 

When we hold in stressors we destroy our immune system, disrupt our nervous system, and create more problems than we need to.

We need to find ways to release negativity and stressors in our life. They will always be there, so instead of letting them take control and reeking havoc on your health you need to find ways to work through them and find a peace in your life.

When we learn to breathe, slow down, relax, and let go of the things we cannot control, then start feeding our mind with positive and affirming words we can begin to heal ourselves and give our bodies a chance to heal.

This week I challenge you.

 

 

Find time to slow down and breathe slowly and deeply through troubles and stressors you are feeling. Realize what you can control and what you cannot. If you can’t control something it’s time to let it go.

Use animals to help you find quiet time and centering. Horses especially are extremely intuitive and can read you from a mile away. If you bring in negative energy or a lot of “baggage” they won’t want to be close to you, and I don’t know about you, but I go see my horses for the kisses and love they pour into me. If I come preoccupied and upset, holding onto something negative, they sense it and walk away from me. I must clear my mind and center/ground myself if I want meaningful interaction with them.

 

Our closeness happens when I let my fears, anxiety, and stressors melt away and I focus on being present with my girl.

Words of affirmation and positivity. Speak them and repeat them as often as you need to about yourself until you have created a positive mindset. If you consistently beat yourself up over little things or become negative about your healing then this is where you need the most work. Our brain is a very powerful tool that believes what we speak into it. Speak only good and positive and watch your circumstances change for the better!

 

 

Finally, have grace upon grace for yourself. You won’t be perfect and you will stumble as you go through life, we all do, the challenge is to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and try again.

You’ve got this and I know you can do it. As you begin to make the changes needed to reduce stressors in your life you will start to notice phantom pains not being your focal point which then makes their grip on you much less.

Don’t give your pain power! Deny them and don’t continue to talk about them. The less time you pay attention to the pains you feel the less likely you are to be consumed and debilitated by them. You deserve better!

You can do this!

Be positive, breathe and focus on the positives! Watch your stress melt away and your phantom pains calm down.

Wishing you a week filled with health and happy thoughts.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

 

That’s A Wrap!

That’s A Wrap!

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Loss/Limb Difference Awareness Month 2025

 


Garrison Hayes and Eric Gutierrez-Camacho
Colorado State University

John McCollough: MIT
Ophelie Herve: UCLA
Mira Mutnick, Jake Kanetis, and Marty Kilbane
Colorado State University

Dan Levine: MIT

As April comes to a close we say a huge thank you to all of the university students ts who came on to share what they have been working on, in the fields of mechanical and biomedical engineering, robotics, and media arts and sciences. All of these amazing students have a passion for assisting and improving the lives of people in the amputee community with their genius and creative enhancements to prosthetics, sockets, surgical procedures and research.

I cannot thank them all enough for caring so deeply for our community and for working so hard to improve it.

As this month closes out I want to entice you all to subscribe to my channel as next week we begin to explore phantom pain.

I have a professor from Harvard coming on to talk about his study into how the mind works, and how it can be used as a tool to combat phantom pain. Very intriguing conversation and maybe a few cues for us amputees to use to begin taking charge of our bodies without the use of drugs.

Please make sure you stay tuned for future episodes!

hHave a very blessed and wonderful week,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

much love,

The Future is Now: Part 4 of 5

The Future is Now: Part 4 of 5

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University of Michigan

Mira Mutnik, Jake Kanetis, and Marty Kilbane

 

 

Amazing conversation with not 1, not 2, but 3 PhD students at the University of Michigan this week!

A true, authentic conversation about the innovation and design of future prosthesis and the growth and research of creating a surgical procedures to aid in using these newly designed prosthesis all with the purpose of replicating the natural human movement.

We packed so much conversation into this episode with so much more we could have talked about.

Once again, we discussed what we could, but some details must be left out due to the highly competitive field these young adults are working in.

What I love about these three students is that even though they are all in a different sector, so to speak, of research: Mira-above limb amputees, Jake-below limb amputees, and Marty-prosthetics, they are all working towards the same goal; creating the best way to unify the surgical procedure and prosthesis to give the amputee the best, most natural movement possible.

 

Jake all hooked up to monitor human movement to collect data for his research

 

Marty working with a study participant on their design of a prosthesis they are working on in the lab.

 

Mira collecting data on her upper limb project and how to get the best hand movement and dexterity of a prosthesis.

 

We had a great discussion of what it could look like for the future of amputees and the length of time these studies take. There are a lot of hoops to jump through, safety regulations, data collecting, and trials. The FDA must approve procedures and products that they hope to take to market some day, but these students have become three of the many students going through the program at University of Michigan, working tirelessly to bring this technology closer to us being able to access it.

I find it so unique to see the shift from making the newest, coolest, most advanced products for us to wear, as amputees, to surgical procedures to make our bodies work in harmony with a prosthesis. The one thing we did dive deep into was the procedure of getting candidates who fit the bill to doing the trial procedures, and finding willing participants as well. This can be so tricky as we struggle with the idea of going back in and revision the original amputation in hopes that the outcome will be the same if not better, but the concern that it could be worse.

I hope you will join us today, listen to the entire podcast and see what dedication these students have for helping our amputee community, what motivates them to continue into this higher level of study, and what their plans are for their future after graduation.

Thank you Jake, Mira, and Marty for sharing your passion. Your dedication to helping our community find a better way to live is inspiring and deserves our gratitude!

Continue doing what you’re doing, and know we all thank you for the time, ideas, and ingenuity to take amputees to the next level!

Please make sure you all Like, Share, and Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode as we continue with our 5th Student interview next week as we visit MIT again from a different angle.

Wishing you all the best, and a blessed week ahead.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

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