Tag: challenges

Times of Struggles

Times of Struggles

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Finding Peace in These Moments

 

These are the times I struggle with the most. Yes, it can be nice to have down time but for someone like me downtime can become a bad habit and turn, quickly, into a new way of living.

I realize how hard I push myself, daily. I know I pack my schedule full, every single day. If I don’t keep that pace I truly become an all or nothing kind of person.

Well, I am being tested on my drive and motivation right now. I have been away on vacation, followed by a week+ of being sick, into prepping for my son to head back to college, to hurting my back! These past 3 weeks have been a call, from my body, to slow down and recharge my batteries, and I am trying to listen.

I have guilt for not being there for my horses, and feel uncomfortable in my body for the lack of gym time and hiking.

I know that this is a moment for me to work on my internal self, my self-talk, and my motivation to get back on the horse once I feel better, but it is tough!

When we get to a place of being so super active and it turns to a lot of downtime, it can be hard to feel mentally and emotionally good about ourselves. I know I am always trying to do what I feel I “should” be doing as a mom and wife, but when I am hurting, physically, it makes it hard to be active, and in a good headspace.

Here’s what I have been doing to make the best of my time:

I am cooking for my family,

I am reading my Bible again,

I am reading for pleasure,

I have been writing in a goal setting journal for the gym and food aspect of my life,

I am creating gift ideas for family and friends,

I am planning my seasonal parties,

I am active, in my head, at least.

As for my body, well, that is going to take time with a back that is hurting.

It’s amazing that everything I want to do to be, even somewhat, active takes back strength and control! I tried using my surf board in the pool and the arching of my back on it almost paralyzed me! Sit ups or planks? Forget it, back control. Lifting? No way, my back is always engaged with weights. Walking? I know I am not walking correctly (over compensating for the pain), so I will only create more issues.  This is tough, I won’t lie. But I have seen this before, I have heard from many of you, and what I see is a moment we are given to learn about ourselves, a time to recharge our batteries for something more coming up, a situation that allows us time to regroup and goal set for our future, especially if our future feels uncertain and scary.

This is a time for us to use for the good. Use it to get to know yourself or to realign your life with new goals, hopes or dreams.

Maybe you have felt overwhelmed and unsure of what you are suppose to be doing right now, use this down time as a chance to gain clarity and focus.

You are a warrior, don’t you ever forget that!

I believe in you! Do you?

 

This week, allow yourself the moments you have being laid up to being constructive for your future. You are not being lazy, you are healing your body, you are listening to what your body needs right now. This moment isn’t forever.

Use this time to dream, goal set, find focus, change directions, plan.

What do you want from your life?

What have you been missing out on since you got “laid up”?

You can use this time for positive gains, just in a different way than you thought. You may not be on your feet at this moment, or unable to perform certain tasks right now, but prepare yourself for when your body is ready to get back at it. It’ll be here before you know it!

 

So Rise up, faithful Warrior, and chase your dreams!!

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Walk It Out

Walk It Out

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Practice Makes Permanence

It was 1 year post-amputation before I felt confident enough to go out and try a 10K

 

Let’s cut to the nitty gritty.

Practice makes permanence not perfection.

As an amputee it takes daily, mindful practice placing one step in front of the other to get comfortable in your prosthesis.

To take time to practice what feels right and looks right is important to learning the proper gait which in turn will help keep the rest of your body healthy and stronger for the long run.

If you start getting lazy, or not taking breaks and pushing yourself too hard too fast you might find yourself getting tired and losing focus and control over your practice.

This is a journey, not an end game. I am still focused on my gait and I am almost 6 years post-amputation.

Hiking on uneven, rocky terrain takes a lot of practice!

 

See the waddle? I can tell I was being lazy or I was hurting based on this one snapshot.

 

Woah! Working on balance and leg strength is important everyday so you can go off roading!

 

And once again, I try to challenge myself on different terrain. Winter hiking boots on snow/ice! Quite the trek!

 

 

Be mindful as you work on walking.

Pay attention to your hips being engaged and swinging your legs through your step versus swinging it out and around.

Take your steps slow and be patient.

Walk wherever you can and make learning your prosthesis a full time job, it’s important!

Also, be mindful of when you’re getting tired and take a break so you don’t resort to bad posture and gait.

I know you can do it, remember it is a journey and one worth practicing al the time.

Rise up, Warriors, and get to steppin’!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Me and My Guys in Hollywood Studios, FL
Traveling Amputee

Traveling Amputee

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Risks and Rewards, Tips and Tricks

Traveled to the “Happiest Place on Earth” as an amputee

 

Traveling is exhausting for anyone. Spending a day in an amusement park can take the most energetic person and turn them into a melt down of epic proportions. Add in the heat and humidity of a Florida summer AND thousands of people and it becomes an challenge that the ordinary person struggles to finish.

Now add in someone missing a leg, dealing with sweating in a prosthesis that wants to shift on you and chafe your leg, sprinkle in the dodging of people who only seem to be concerned with their own schedule, and lines that you stand in, totaling hours, throughout the day and you have one of the biggest opportunities to rise to the occasion and show what you’re made of.

 

The amount of people is amazing!

 

Traveling is fun.

The Jungle Cruise during the final show at Disney World

 

Tron ride was EPIC , and probably to the only ride that me fitting into was questionable, but absolutely doable for even me, an above knee amputee.

 

Traveling is challenging.

Overall, I decided to amputate so I could GET BACK to the life I was living before my knee injury, and that is exactly why I go thru all of those obstacles and challenges.

I WANT TO LIVE!!! Fully and completely.

Golfing is fun but challenging….I love a challenge!

 

Enjoying the rides, like Pirates, with my family!

 

That was an amazing day! Almost 11 miles and one exhausted momma! But look at that view (and ALL THOSE PEOPLE)!

 

What kind of life do you want?

What can you handle?

I have experienced moving around on trips and amusement parks as an able-bodied person, and injured momma in a wheelchair, and as an amputee. This week I give you some ideas of what to expect, what to pack, and how to deal with the ins and outs of highly populated places such as Disney World and Universal.

 

Get ready to pack your bags and begin your journey!

Enjoy the journey. Be present. Live your life!

You can travel, too, just be prepared (oh, and make sure you stretch!).

You may be an amputee but you can still enjoy taking trips.

 

 

This may seem irrelevant to the topic of travel but I assure you it is very relevant: STRETCH!

Make stretching a part of your day, everyday!

I didn’t and my back was screaming at me the day after our 1st park. The way I had to walk, in the heat, around all those people, looking out for myself, and my safety, made my body move in non-natural ways that over the miles and hours of being on my feet really exhausted my back and hips. I had 2 days and nights of phantom pains and back pains and all I could do was push through it and continue with our plans, trying to ignore the pain. On one of the final nights back in our resort I decided to sit on the ground and give my good leg a nice stretch only to realize how very tight I was.

Don’t wait til you have issues like I did. I am now starting to stretch every morning and evening to help my flexibility and my mobility.

Your Call to Action this week is to do the same.

Implement a stretching routine for yourself so you keep flexible. Even 5 minutes a day is better than nothing, so get started, TODAY!!

 

Also, listen into my IG Live chat Un(Limb)ited Conversation this week as Jackie, DPT and I discuss stretches for post-amputation mobility. You can find it on Instagram @BAWarrior360. Every other Wednesday at 4:00 pm MST I hope you join us!

 

OK, Warriors, rise up, and get traveling!

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Have a beautiful week

and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Not all who wander are lost.

 

 

I See You

I See You

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Setbacks Happen, You Are Not Alone

 

The reality is that after your amputation the journey is just beginning.

The journey is filled with ups and downs and everything in between.

I wished I could tell you that once your limb physically heals, from the surgery, that it’s all downhill from there but that wouldn’t be accurate for 99% of the amputees.

Most of us will deal with 2-3 years of limb volume changes making the socket fitting process a true test of patience and resilience.

Add in phantom pains, possible neuromas, skin breakdown, etc and the challenges can seem daunting and never-ending

But have no fear, the journey is not an easy one, but can be so very rewarding.

You should be setting goals for yourself, depending where you are in your journey.

This life is a journey; embrace it, wherever you are at in it.

 

You will build character and learn so much about yourself, too.

I know you are going through some rough times right now, but you’re not alone. I see you. I have been where you are, and I will probably have a rough go at it sometime in the near future.

This is the life of an amputee.

There is beauty in the struggle, though. Your mindset can dictate, and WILL dictate your outcomes.

You have two choices, play the victim or play the hero of your story.

Your mindset matters.

If you are in the middle of a setback in your journey, have no fear. This is the moment to take a breathe, be present, and begin to anticipate what beauty is to come.

What do you want to achieve?

Where do you see yourself once you heal or get past this hurdle?

 

At this moment, when life seems too much and you are frustrated and feeling like you’ll never get back to the way you were before your setback remember that this moment is setting you up for a leap forward and in the right direction.

Get your mindset correct and be ready for the positive changes.

Use this time to create a plan that makes you happy, one that you can be excited about as you anticipate your full recovery, from whatever is holding back right now.

If you visualize a positive momentum to come, you can will it to happen.

Sending your mind positive thoughts and imagery is exactly how to succeed.

Pause in this moment, take a few deep cleansing breathes and prepare yourself for a positive shift.

You’ve got this, Warrior!!! Don’t lose hope.

 

I’m praying for you!

 

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

Embrace Your Starting Point

Embrace Your Starting Point

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Enjoy YOUR Journey

 

Enjoy YOUR Journey

 

 

This is YOUR life.
It looks like no one else’s and YOU are like no one else in the world….. so why do we compare our journey to everyone else’s?

I understand, when life gets hard, and we see someone kicking butt and everything appears to be amazing for them, we wish that was what we had, but don’t be mistaken. Everyone has valleys as well as mountain tops. When you see someone that makes you wish for things to be like their life you forget that they were probably struggling not too long ago.

You also miss out on YOUR journey and the beautiful moments that are happening to you and around you.

Horse kisses make me happy

 

A wedding dance with my Dad

 

Being with my guys

 

A starting point is the beginning of a new journey. And each of us starts in a different place. Do not compare yourself to anyone else.
Start looking at your life NOT as a derailed train but a new direction to explore, new skills to be learned, and amazing people to meet and gain valuable experiences.

 

 

Find time today to look in the mirror and truly appreciate and embrace this moment right now.

It’s time to climb your mountain, rise to the challenges in life, commit to what you want and consistently get after it.

Embrace your journey.
Embrace your starting point.
Remember anything is possible with commitment and consistency.
Dare to dream and rise up, Warriors!!!

Have a blessed week and as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!

Much love,

Keep Your Eye On The Ball

Keep Your Eye On The Ball

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Staying Present to Live Fully

 

I played sports all my life and the one take away from all of those years was that if I wasn’t focused on the moment then I wasn’t going to perform at my best.

You’ve heard the saying, “Keep your eye on the ball” or “Keep your eye on the prize” and you have probably understood it in the context it was told to you. I heard it a million times in all the years I played softball. It wasn’t a metaphor, it was literal. “Don’t lose sight of the ball.”-You can’t hit a ball you aren’t looking at, and you can’t field a ball you don’t see.

But how about hearing that saying in life?

Can you see how this relates to your daily living?

All too often we spend time waiting for the next best thing to happen. We look forward to being out of this moment, and when we will feel happiness or joy again. We try to avoid living in the present when the present is too pain to handle. But what about right now?

I read something the other day that made me really think. What are we waiting for? The end of the journey is the grave. We should be living in this moment for all it’s worth, enjoying the battles and the victories. We must learn to embrace the bad times as much as the good ones because we learn from all moments, we create memories in all moments.

 

Moments like this make a pain-filled day just what I needed to find my smile.

 

Life is good and life is hard.

Without the hard moments, the ones where we live in a valley, were cannot fully appreciate the good ones.

This week I want you to focus on living in the present.

Stop time by living fully IN time.

 

A quiet moment with my pup. Breathe in, breathe out.

I don’t mean for you to wallow in your pain, that’s not the moment I am talking about. But in those hard and painful moments life is happening all around you. The sun is shining, the dogs are cuddling up against you, a friend sends you a special text. Your moment isn’t just the pain you might be feeling but all the things happening around you and to you.

It’s ok to acknowledge your pain and struggles, just don’t live there, and don’t give it power. Acknowledge and move on.

You are a warrior.

You are stronger than you know.

Keep your eye on the ball and live a full life, the life you were always meant to live!

 

 

This week, every night before you go to bed, make a list of 5 things that made you feel good, happy, loved, appreciated, alive.

Whatever you noticed that brought you joy and happiness.

This doesn’t have to be a writing assignment, just a list.

Maybe you smelled the rain and it relaxed you.

Maybe your puppy came and cuddled up next to you and you felt relaxed and loved.

Maybe the sun shining down through the trees brought you a sense of peace.

This is about staying present and appreciating the little things that happen throughout the day.

We must practice staying present everyday because we become so easily caught up in the wanting and yearning of a new day or a better life, or wanting everything that’s just out of reach instead of seeing how many good things are happening throughout the day to us.

Stay present.

Appreciate the little moments.

Move past the pain by acknowledging it and then moving on from it.

You are strong and capable.

You are a fighter, so fight!

You are worthy, so pick up your head and hold yourself up high.

Until next week, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

These are the moments I live for

 

It’s Not Just You

It’s Not Just You

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Normalizing Phantom Pain

 

No matter what you think, every amputee has issues at some point or another.

No one is exempt from phantom pain or phantom sensations even though it appears as they do.

Most successful people, meaning those who appear to be living their best life after amputation, do not sit around thinking about phantom pain or wallowing in it, they keep moving, they keep pushing through it, until they make it through…for at least that episode.

I was once told that talking about it and harping about the phantom pain only gave it power over me, so I try very hard not to talk about it.

Moving through an episode, that is what I call them because they come on quick, last for a brief moment in time and then disappear as quickly as they came on…only to be repeated again in the future. But moving through an episode can be a lonely place and often times hard. Making a decision to keep doing life despite it and not letting it get the best of you takes mental fortitude. Some days I feel like I have it…other days, not so much.

This week is one of those weeks. Monday I struggled all day. Tuesday I forced myself to the gym and grocery shopping, only to feel exhausted by the end of it all and only to find it tough to get sleep Tuesday night… BUT, I made life happen for me, not to me!

I chose to get active and I felt better that I had, mentally, even though physically I was still struggling.

You have to choose your battles. Know when to push through  and know when your body and mind need a break.

Just don’t give up and never, for a second, think you are the only one that is struggling. You are NOT.

Be strong, dear Warrior! You will get through it!

 

I hope you have a blessed week and one filled with positive momentum forward!

U

ntil next week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

much love,


Launch

Launch

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Prepare Yourself!

Your steps backward are prepping you to be rocketed forward.

Ever feel like you are being held down, pushed backwards, not making forward progress?

I’ve been there and it can be so frustrating! Sometimes it feels like you are never going to get back to where you were or progress any further

What I have learned over these past 12 years of setbacks and surgeries, backward movement and disappointment, is that whenever I have gone through those moments, sooner or later, I am back to where I once was AND usually further along than I could’ve ever imagined…and sometimes down a path I would never have seen.

Sometimes these “valleys” take days , weeks or even months. Mine lasted 5 years of hoping and praying that life would cut me a break…little did I know that a simple pop of my MCL in a karate graduation would amount to an amputation 5 years later, and some of the most profound and wonderful moments of my life!!!

We need to remember that when we have setbacks- they won’t last forever, and that these setbacks are stressing us to launch us into something greater than we could ever have fathomed.

Prepare yourself; your heart, mind and body, for something great to happen. Don’t get down and give up, instead be prepared for your launch!

Be prepared for something amazing and spectacular to happen on your life.
Setbacks are a way to a new path and usually one that sets us up for greatness.

Be prepared to be launched!!

This week starts mentally preparing yourself for your launch, especially if you feel that you’ve been knocked down or held back by some illness, frustration, situation in your life.

Start seeing what could be and what might happen and see the positive side, get excited for change to come and push you further than you could ever believe you’d go. Sometimes just preparing our minds to accept change that might come can manifest itself into reality. “If you can think it you can do it” sort of scenario.

Don’t get down, just know that you are being stressed and stretched to be sling shot forward into a whole new situation with all new possibilities.

Just know that you won’t be where you are forever. You are being prepared to experience a forward movement and back to climbing to that mountain top.

I hope you have a beautiful week ahead.

And as always.

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

much love,

Angie

 

#bawarrior360 #believinginyourself #limbloss #podcast #personaljourney #launch #setbacksaresetups #prepareyourself #amputeelife #ampstrong #valleystomountaintops #slingshot

Climbing Your Mountain

Climbing Your Mountain

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How to overcome adversity to reach the top

 

The view from the top is always amazing and one we all strive for but that isn’t how life works, is it?

What happened when we fail, and fall into a valley? Maybe you have a medical issue, or are struggling in a relationship or job, or maybe you became an amputee, like me.

What then?

This is the time to focus on what’s in front of you. You need to figure out your goals and where you want to be and take the right steps to achieve them.

Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?

Of course, in theory it sounds great but putting that into practice, day in and day out is another story all together.

I met an older gentleman at the Y the other day that made me realize that I need to appreciate the season I am in and the condition my body is in. I talked with this man for a bit and saw a yearning in his eyes to be the young buck he once was, one that had strength and stamina. He told me he use to be a body builder and now he was barely lifting any weight. I told him that I was impressed he was there and working out and that he should see that as a victory, he is climbing his mountain.

Is it where he use to be? No.

Is it where he wants to be? No, but he hasn’t quit!

He had been through knee surgeries and several heart attacks and he was at the gym, with his walker putting in the work that he COULD do.
That is amazing!

If we forget to appreciate where we’ve been and how far we’ve come, and living in the moment we are in, we can get lost. We start obsessing on how we aren’t doing what we use to be able to do, and not seeing what we are still capable of doing.

I know that as I get older, being an amputee is going to become hard on me and my body. For now, I work on what I can and embrace what I am able to do. I refuse to look back at a time when I had 2 legs and what I was capable of. Now I see me for who I am and how proud I am of my accomplishments because I have had to work hard, and my mindset has had to become strong.

Some days aren’t easy to handle but I must press on. I try to focus on the mountain top, each day, and strive to live in THIS moment.

Today is a gift and I am alive and capable. Don’t forget how special you are, and how this moment, right here and now, is what matters most.

Embrace it and live! You are a warrior, you are worthy of so much more. Strive for that mountain top and do t look back!!

 

…

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In The Beginning

In The Beginning

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What to Expect as a New Amputee

 

As with anything new there is a learning curve. Becoming an amputee is no different. However, since few people know of anyone that’s an amputee before they, themselves, become one, there are so many questions without answers.

It seems overwhelming, confusing and quite scary.

Have no fear, even though each one of us is very different as we deal with our own amputation, we also have many similar benchmarks or stages we go through.

First thing you need to know is that you will get through this and you are going to do great. If you can embrace that mindset, a mindset of positivity, then you are already on your way to bringing that to fruition.

I believe in manifesting my own destiny and I have deep faith in my purpose and that the journey I am on was set before me by a higher power.

Speak positive and empowering words to yourself, and you will manifest positive and empowering outcomes.

After your surgery you will have time to adjust to your new body image and center of gravity, time to rest and heal, and time to prepare for what’s to come. At this point it’s a great idea to focus on getting some core strength back and balance. These things you can work on as you wait for the fitting process.

Me trying on my very first socket (L) and me a couple sockets later (R). See the weight change?

 

Adjustments are always being made, even when the socket feels right the leg direction can be off (too far forward leaning, not adducted enough). These things depend on your type of amputation and your hip alignment.

 

I’ve been fortunate enough to take my “test socket” home and work out in it to make sure it is made to withstand the riggers of my activity levels.

 

Here’s how my guy, Randy, creates my sockets. He casts my residual limb.

 

Once you’ve been given the green light by your surgeon that you are ready to be fitted for your prosthesis then you will head to your prosthetist’s office, discuss your goals, dreams, activity levels and where you want to be and where you see yourself in the future. This will help them fit you correctly and get you the best prosthesis for you and your goals.

Your prosthetist will create a “test socket” for you-this could take a couple of weeks- and then you will go in, try it on, walk around in it and they will adjust it for a more comfortable fit, then off you go with your brand new leg.

PT should begin at this point, if you haven’t already been working with one to gain core strength and balance.

I know this can be scary and you might feel apprehensive at first but remember, they want to help you succeed at walking and using your prosthesis correctly so you don’t hurt yourself.

Communicate with them, let them know what feels good and doesn’t feel good, what scares you, what you don’t understand, and what you want to be able to do. Discuss your dreams and goals with them.

Now as you start using your new leg you will start noticing changes in your volume of your leg. The more you start doing life again the more your volume of your residual limb will change and then you run into the frustrating aspect of being an amputee, the socket fit.

You can literally get a brand new socket made to fit your leg perfectly and the very next day it won’t feel as snug. You’ll start to add socks on top of your liner, one after the next, just to accommodate your leg shrinking in size. The more socks you use the less connected you will feel and then you won’t trust your prosthesis to stay in place and behave the way it should.

But don’t worry, your prosthetist will be taking measurements and once those measurements align with your insurance company’s guidelines you can be fitted for a new socket.

The problem?

It is the whole process all over again!

You get a new casting of your limb (some cast, some use digital renderings, just depends on what they like to use), they create a new “test socket” and adjust it to fit nice and snug. Next they create a new final socket and you go back in, try it on, walk around, make adjustments and then you’re on your way…..until this one begins to fit poorly.

The reality: the first 2-3 years are a series of nicely fitting socket, loosening, refitting, recreating, and then all over again.

I, myself, went through 16 sockets in the first 3 years!

The sooner you know and understand this sequence of events, the better it is for you to mentally grasp the journey so these moments don’t gut punch you and make you feel like a failure, or that you’re doing something wrong, or that this is heading down an irreversible path.

Embrace this journey.  It is unique and challenging, but you will learn so much about yourself and build so much character, and experience, so quickly.

No one has the same experiences as they become an amputee but this is a basic outline of some pretty typical moments you will see to some degree.

Just remember you are stronger than you think and you will make it through this.

 

 

Plain and simple, this week I want you to face those fears.

I know you and see you. You are getting ready to head into your first physical therapy and have no idea how you will manage. You are worried you won’t be able to tolerate the leg, that you aren’t strong enough or even brave enough for this life….but you are!

As I tell myself when I encounter something that puts fear into my heart and doubt into my brain, “One step at a time, Ang”.

I can do anything, one step at a time.

One Step At A Time. Yes, that can be a metaphor, but I mean it literally.

You will NOT be asked to do stairs on your first day of PT, nor will they ask you to try running.

Baby steps is how you start. Just as a small child learns to crawl before they stand, stand before they walk, and walk before they run, you too, will go through these sort of “baby steps”. You are doing something for the first time. It takes, strength, balance, mobility, and practice to get it right, and even then you still won’t have it down. I still catch myself not walking with a good gait and making corrections. That’s ok, it takes time.

Enjoy the journey.

Embrace what scares you and make the most of these moments.

You can do this, look how far you’ve already come!

 

Have a blessed week and get after it!

Rise up, Warrior, rise up!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

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