Tag: attitude

Times of Struggles

Times of Struggles

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Finding Peace in These Moments

 

These are the times I struggle with the most. Yes, it can be nice to have down time but for someone like me downtime can become a bad habit and turn, quickly, into a new way of living.

I realize how hard I push myself, daily. I know I pack my schedule full, every single day. If I don’t keep that pace I truly become an all or nothing kind of person.

Well, I am being tested on my drive and motivation right now. I have been away on vacation, followed by a week+ of being sick, into prepping for my son to head back to college, to hurting my back! These past 3 weeks have been a call, from my body, to slow down and recharge my batteries, and I am trying to listen.

I have guilt for not being there for my horses, and feel uncomfortable in my body for the lack of gym time and hiking.

I know that this is a moment for me to work on my internal self, my self-talk, and my motivation to get back on the horse once I feel better, but it is tough!

When we get to a place of being so super active and it turns to a lot of downtime, it can be hard to feel mentally and emotionally good about ourselves. I know I am always trying to do what I feel I “should” be doing as a mom and wife, but when I am hurting, physically, it makes it hard to be active, and in a good headspace.

Here’s what I have been doing to make the best of my time:

I am cooking for my family,

I am reading my Bible again,

I am reading for pleasure,

I have been writing in a goal setting journal for the gym and food aspect of my life,

I am creating gift ideas for family and friends,

I am planning my seasonal parties,

I am active, in my head, at least.

As for my body, well, that is going to take time with a back that is hurting.

It’s amazing that everything I want to do to be, even somewhat, active takes back strength and control! I tried using my surf board in the pool and the arching of my back on it almost paralyzed me! Sit ups or planks? Forget it, back control. Lifting? No way, my back is always engaged with weights. Walking? I know I am not walking correctly (over compensating for the pain), so I will only create more issues.  This is tough, I won’t lie. But I have seen this before, I have heard from many of you, and what I see is a moment we are given to learn about ourselves, a time to recharge our batteries for something more coming up, a situation that allows us time to regroup and goal set for our future, especially if our future feels uncertain and scary.

This is a time for us to use for the good. Use it to get to know yourself or to realign your life with new goals, hopes or dreams.

Maybe you have felt overwhelmed and unsure of what you are suppose to be doing right now, use this down time as a chance to gain clarity and focus.

You are a warrior, don’t you ever forget that!

I believe in you! Do you?

 

This week, allow yourself the moments you have being laid up to being constructive for your future. You are not being lazy, you are healing your body, you are listening to what your body needs right now. This moment isn’t forever.

Use this time to dream, goal set, find focus, change directions, plan.

What do you want from your life?

What have you been missing out on since you got “laid up”?

You can use this time for positive gains, just in a different way than you thought. You may not be on your feet at this moment, or unable to perform certain tasks right now, but prepare yourself for when your body is ready to get back at it. It’ll be here before you know it!

 

So Rise up, faithful Warrior, and chase your dreams!!

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Walk It Out

Walk It Out

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 26:50 — 28.6MB)

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Practice Makes Permanence

It was 1 year post-amputation before I felt confident enough to go out and try a 10K

 

Let’s cut to the nitty gritty.

Practice makes permanence not perfection.

As an amputee it takes daily, mindful practice placing one step in front of the other to get comfortable in your prosthesis.

To take time to practice what feels right and looks right is important to learning the proper gait which in turn will help keep the rest of your body healthy and stronger for the long run.

If you start getting lazy, or not taking breaks and pushing yourself too hard too fast you might find yourself getting tired and losing focus and control over your practice.

This is a journey, not an end game. I am still focused on my gait and I am almost 6 years post-amputation.

Hiking on uneven, rocky terrain takes a lot of practice!

 

See the waddle? I can tell I was being lazy or I was hurting based on this one snapshot.

 

Woah! Working on balance and leg strength is important everyday so you can go off roading!

 

And once again, I try to challenge myself on different terrain. Winter hiking boots on snow/ice! Quite the trek!

 

 

Be mindful as you work on walking.

Pay attention to your hips being engaged and swinging your legs through your step versus swinging it out and around.

Take your steps slow and be patient.

Walk wherever you can and make learning your prosthesis a full time job, it’s important!

Also, be mindful of when you’re getting tired and take a break so you don’t resort to bad posture and gait.

I know you can do it, remember it is a journey and one worth practicing al the time.

Rise up, Warriors, and get to steppin’!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Me and My Guys in Hollywood Studios, FL
I See You

I See You

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Setbacks Happen, You Are Not Alone

 

The reality is that after your amputation the journey is just beginning.

The journey is filled with ups and downs and everything in between.

I wished I could tell you that once your limb physically heals, from the surgery, that it’s all downhill from there but that wouldn’t be accurate for 99% of the amputees.

Most of us will deal with 2-3 years of limb volume changes making the socket fitting process a true test of patience and resilience.

Add in phantom pains, possible neuromas, skin breakdown, etc and the challenges can seem daunting and never-ending

But have no fear, the journey is not an easy one, but can be so very rewarding.

You should be setting goals for yourself, depending where you are in your journey.

This life is a journey; embrace it, wherever you are at in it.

 

You will build character and learn so much about yourself, too.

I know you are going through some rough times right now, but you’re not alone. I see you. I have been where you are, and I will probably have a rough go at it sometime in the near future.

This is the life of an amputee.

There is beauty in the struggle, though. Your mindset can dictate, and WILL dictate your outcomes.

You have two choices, play the victim or play the hero of your story.

Your mindset matters.

If you are in the middle of a setback in your journey, have no fear. This is the moment to take a breathe, be present, and begin to anticipate what beauty is to come.

What do you want to achieve?

Where do you see yourself once you heal or get past this hurdle?

 

At this moment, when life seems too much and you are frustrated and feeling like you’ll never get back to the way you were before your setback remember that this moment is setting you up for a leap forward and in the right direction.

Get your mindset correct and be ready for the positive changes.

Use this time to create a plan that makes you happy, one that you can be excited about as you anticipate your full recovery, from whatever is holding back right now.

If you visualize a positive momentum to come, you can will it to happen.

Sending your mind positive thoughts and imagery is exactly how to succeed.

Pause in this moment, take a few deep cleansing breathes and prepare yourself for a positive shift.

You’ve got this, Warrior!!! Don’t lose hope.

 

I’m praying for you!

 

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

Embrace Your Starting Point

Embrace Your Starting Point

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Enjoy YOUR Journey

 

Enjoy YOUR Journey

 

 

This is YOUR life.
It looks like no one else’s and YOU are like no one else in the world….. so why do we compare our journey to everyone else’s?

I understand, when life gets hard, and we see someone kicking butt and everything appears to be amazing for them, we wish that was what we had, but don’t be mistaken. Everyone has valleys as well as mountain tops. When you see someone that makes you wish for things to be like their life you forget that they were probably struggling not too long ago.

You also miss out on YOUR journey and the beautiful moments that are happening to you and around you.

Horse kisses make me happy

 

A wedding dance with my Dad

 

Being with my guys

 

A starting point is the beginning of a new journey. And each of us starts in a different place. Do not compare yourself to anyone else.
Start looking at your life NOT as a derailed train but a new direction to explore, new skills to be learned, and amazing people to meet and gain valuable experiences.

 

 

Find time today to look in the mirror and truly appreciate and embrace this moment right now.

It’s time to climb your mountain, rise to the challenges in life, commit to what you want and consistently get after it.

Embrace your journey.
Embrace your starting point.
Remember anything is possible with commitment and consistency.
Dare to dream and rise up, Warriors!!!

Have a blessed week and as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!

Much love,

Keep Your Eye On The Ball

Keep Your Eye On The Ball

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Staying Present to Live Fully

 

I played sports all my life and the one take away from all of those years was that if I wasn’t focused on the moment then I wasn’t going to perform at my best.

You’ve heard the saying, “Keep your eye on the ball” or “Keep your eye on the prize” and you have probably understood it in the context it was told to you. I heard it a million times in all the years I played softball. It wasn’t a metaphor, it was literal. “Don’t lose sight of the ball.”-You can’t hit a ball you aren’t looking at, and you can’t field a ball you don’t see.

But how about hearing that saying in life?

Can you see how this relates to your daily living?

All too often we spend time waiting for the next best thing to happen. We look forward to being out of this moment, and when we will feel happiness or joy again. We try to avoid living in the present when the present is too pain to handle. But what about right now?

I read something the other day that made me really think. What are we waiting for? The end of the journey is the grave. We should be living in this moment for all it’s worth, enjoying the battles and the victories. We must learn to embrace the bad times as much as the good ones because we learn from all moments, we create memories in all moments.

 

Moments like this make a pain-filled day just what I needed to find my smile.

 

Life is good and life is hard.

Without the hard moments, the ones where we live in a valley, were cannot fully appreciate the good ones.

This week I want you to focus on living in the present.

Stop time by living fully IN time.

 

A quiet moment with my pup. Breathe in, breathe out.

I don’t mean for you to wallow in your pain, that’s not the moment I am talking about. But in those hard and painful moments life is happening all around you. The sun is shining, the dogs are cuddling up against you, a friend sends you a special text. Your moment isn’t just the pain you might be feeling but all the things happening around you and to you.

It’s ok to acknowledge your pain and struggles, just don’t live there, and don’t give it power. Acknowledge and move on.

You are a warrior.

You are stronger than you know.

Keep your eye on the ball and live a full life, the life you were always meant to live!

 

 

This week, every night before you go to bed, make a list of 5 things that made you feel good, happy, loved, appreciated, alive.

Whatever you noticed that brought you joy and happiness.

This doesn’t have to be a writing assignment, just a list.

Maybe you smelled the rain and it relaxed you.

Maybe your puppy came and cuddled up next to you and you felt relaxed and loved.

Maybe the sun shining down through the trees brought you a sense of peace.

This is about staying present and appreciating the little things that happen throughout the day.

We must practice staying present everyday because we become so easily caught up in the wanting and yearning of a new day or a better life, or wanting everything that’s just out of reach instead of seeing how many good things are happening throughout the day to us.

Stay present.

Appreciate the little moments.

Move past the pain by acknowledging it and then moving on from it.

You are strong and capable.

You are a fighter, so fight!

You are worthy, so pick up your head and hold yourself up high.

Until next week, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

These are the moments I live for

 

It’s Not Just You

It’s Not Just You

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Normalizing Phantom Pain

 

No matter what you think, every amputee has issues at some point or another.

No one is exempt from phantom pain or phantom sensations even though it appears as they do.

Most successful people, meaning those who appear to be living their best life after amputation, do not sit around thinking about phantom pain or wallowing in it, they keep moving, they keep pushing through it, until they make it through…for at least that episode.

I was once told that talking about it and harping about the phantom pain only gave it power over me, so I try very hard not to talk about it.

Moving through an episode, that is what I call them because they come on quick, last for a brief moment in time and then disappear as quickly as they came on…only to be repeated again in the future. But moving through an episode can be a lonely place and often times hard. Making a decision to keep doing life despite it and not letting it get the best of you takes mental fortitude. Some days I feel like I have it…other days, not so much.

This week is one of those weeks. Monday I struggled all day. Tuesday I forced myself to the gym and grocery shopping, only to feel exhausted by the end of it all and only to find it tough to get sleep Tuesday night… BUT, I made life happen for me, not to me!

I chose to get active and I felt better that I had, mentally, even though physically I was still struggling.

You have to choose your battles. Know when to push through  and know when your body and mind need a break.

Just don’t give up and never, for a second, think you are the only one that is struggling. You are NOT.

Be strong, dear Warrior! You will get through it!

 

I hope you have a blessed week and one filled with positive momentum forward!

U

ntil next week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

much love,


Finding Your Center

Finding Your Center

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Breathe In, Breathe Out

 

Sometimes we forget one of the most basic of human needs, breathing. Yes, of course we continue to breathe everyday, I’m not saying we stop breathing, what I AM saying is that we forget HOW to breathe.

I know I can get caught up in emotions and stress and only do shallow breathes or even hold my breathe, at times. This is not good for us, we must practice taking good, deep, and cleansing breathes everyday.

When we take part in active breathing, we can clear our bodies of toxins and bad energy and bring in the goodness around us, the energy of the earth and nature.

Breathe in through the nose, breathe in good energy, life-giving energy.

Breathe out through the mouth and rid yourself of bad, negative energy and toxins.

We should be taking time everyday to work on this and thus reap the benefits of cleansing breath. Even if for only 5-10 minutes a day. I bet after a while you will make time for longer sessions, only to gain the rewards of spending time with yourself. You’ll be surprised on how practicing breathing will elevate things, such as; stress and pain.

Why WOULDN’T you want to do this?

I know, I know. It’s hard to find the time, but like all things that we want to do throughout a day, we learn to make the time, until you can’t do without it. Building good habits only takes a couple of weeks of dedication for it to stick and become routine.

 

Try it!

That is your Call to Action for this week.

Find time to give yourself a break. Get comfortable, sit upright and breathe.

Clear your mind of your busy schedule, your to do list, and things that have been weighing on your mind.

Let it all go for this time period and give yourself the time to just “Be”.

If you struggle to quiet your mind and you find yourself wandering, it’s ok, just redirect you mind to quiet down and refocus on the moment.

Sometimes I find myself counting in my mind to redirect the thoughts and get back to a quiet mind.

Stay consistent and don’t give up.

If you are struggling with phantom limb pain you might find this to be releasing.

When stress seems to take over your physical well being try it and find your peace and focus again.

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe 4th of July!

and as always,

Be Healthy,

be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

 

 

Climbing Your Mountain

Climbing Your Mountain

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How to overcome adversity to reach the top

 

The view from the top is always amazing and one we all strive for but that isn’t how life works, is it?

What happened when we fail, and fall into a valley? Maybe you have a medical issue, or are struggling in a relationship or job, or maybe you became an amputee, like me.

What then?

This is the time to focus on what’s in front of you. You need to figure out your goals and where you want to be and take the right steps to achieve them.

Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?

Of course, in theory it sounds great but putting that into practice, day in and day out is another story all together.

I met an older gentleman at the Y the other day that made me realize that I need to appreciate the season I am in and the condition my body is in. I talked with this man for a bit and saw a yearning in his eyes to be the young buck he once was, one that had strength and stamina. He told me he use to be a body builder and now he was barely lifting any weight. I told him that I was impressed he was there and working out and that he should see that as a victory, he is climbing his mountain.

Is it where he use to be? No.

Is it where he wants to be? No, but he hasn’t quit!

He had been through knee surgeries and several heart attacks and he was at the gym, with his walker putting in the work that he COULD do.
That is amazing!

If we forget to appreciate where we’ve been and how far we’ve come, and living in the moment we are in, we can get lost. We start obsessing on how we aren’t doing what we use to be able to do, and not seeing what we are still capable of doing.

I know that as I get older, being an amputee is going to become hard on me and my body. For now, I work on what I can and embrace what I am able to do. I refuse to look back at a time when I had 2 legs and what I was capable of. Now I see me for who I am and how proud I am of my accomplishments because I have had to work hard, and my mindset has had to become strong.

Some days aren’t easy to handle but I must press on. I try to focus on the mountain top, each day, and strive to live in THIS moment.

Today is a gift and I am alive and capable. Don’t forget how special you are, and how this moment, right here and now, is what matters most.

Embrace it and live! You are a warrior, you are worthy of so much more. Strive for that mountain top and do t look back!!

 

…

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In The Beginning

In The Beginning

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What to Expect as a New Amputee

 

As with anything new there is a learning curve. Becoming an amputee is no different. However, since few people know of anyone that’s an amputee before they, themselves, become one, there are so many questions without answers.

It seems overwhelming, confusing and quite scary.

Have no fear, even though each one of us is very different as we deal with our own amputation, we also have many similar benchmarks or stages we go through.

First thing you need to know is that you will get through this and you are going to do great. If you can embrace that mindset, a mindset of positivity, then you are already on your way to bringing that to fruition.

I believe in manifesting my own destiny and I have deep faith in my purpose and that the journey I am on was set before me by a higher power.

Speak positive and empowering words to yourself, and you will manifest positive and empowering outcomes.

After your surgery you will have time to adjust to your new body image and center of gravity, time to rest and heal, and time to prepare for what’s to come. At this point it’s a great idea to focus on getting some core strength back and balance. These things you can work on as you wait for the fitting process.

Me trying on my very first socket (L) and me a couple sockets later (R). See the weight change?

 

Adjustments are always being made, even when the socket feels right the leg direction can be off (too far forward leaning, not adducted enough). These things depend on your type of amputation and your hip alignment.

 

I’ve been fortunate enough to take my “test socket” home and work out in it to make sure it is made to withstand the riggers of my activity levels.

 

Here’s how my guy, Randy, creates my sockets. He casts my residual limb.

 

Once you’ve been given the green light by your surgeon that you are ready to be fitted for your prosthesis then you will head to your prosthetist’s office, discuss your goals, dreams, activity levels and where you want to be and where you see yourself in the future. This will help them fit you correctly and get you the best prosthesis for you and your goals.

Your prosthetist will create a “test socket” for you-this could take a couple of weeks- and then you will go in, try it on, walk around in it and they will adjust it for a more comfortable fit, then off you go with your brand new leg.

PT should begin at this point, if you haven’t already been working with one to gain core strength and balance.

I know this can be scary and you might feel apprehensive at first but remember, they want to help you succeed at walking and using your prosthesis correctly so you don’t hurt yourself.

Communicate with them, let them know what feels good and doesn’t feel good, what scares you, what you don’t understand, and what you want to be able to do. Discuss your dreams and goals with them.

Now as you start using your new leg you will start noticing changes in your volume of your leg. The more you start doing life again the more your volume of your residual limb will change and then you run into the frustrating aspect of being an amputee, the socket fit.

You can literally get a brand new socket made to fit your leg perfectly and the very next day it won’t feel as snug. You’ll start to add socks on top of your liner, one after the next, just to accommodate your leg shrinking in size. The more socks you use the less connected you will feel and then you won’t trust your prosthesis to stay in place and behave the way it should.

But don’t worry, your prosthetist will be taking measurements and once those measurements align with your insurance company’s guidelines you can be fitted for a new socket.

The problem?

It is the whole process all over again!

You get a new casting of your limb (some cast, some use digital renderings, just depends on what they like to use), they create a new “test socket” and adjust it to fit nice and snug. Next they create a new final socket and you go back in, try it on, walk around, make adjustments and then you’re on your way…..until this one begins to fit poorly.

The reality: the first 2-3 years are a series of nicely fitting socket, loosening, refitting, recreating, and then all over again.

I, myself, went through 16 sockets in the first 3 years!

The sooner you know and understand this sequence of events, the better it is for you to mentally grasp the journey so these moments don’t gut punch you and make you feel like a failure, or that you’re doing something wrong, or that this is heading down an irreversible path.

Embrace this journey.  It is unique and challenging, but you will learn so much about yourself and build so much character, and experience, so quickly.

No one has the same experiences as they become an amputee but this is a basic outline of some pretty typical moments you will see to some degree.

Just remember you are stronger than you think and you will make it through this.

 

 

Plain and simple, this week I want you to face those fears.

I know you and see you. You are getting ready to head into your first physical therapy and have no idea how you will manage. You are worried you won’t be able to tolerate the leg, that you aren’t strong enough or even brave enough for this life….but you are!

As I tell myself when I encounter something that puts fear into my heart and doubt into my brain, “One step at a time, Ang”.

I can do anything, one step at a time.

One Step At A Time. Yes, that can be a metaphor, but I mean it literally.

You will NOT be asked to do stairs on your first day of PT, nor will they ask you to try running.

Baby steps is how you start. Just as a small child learns to crawl before they stand, stand before they walk, and walk before they run, you too, will go through these sort of “baby steps”. You are doing something for the first time. It takes, strength, balance, mobility, and practice to get it right, and even then you still won’t have it down. I still catch myself not walking with a good gait and making corrections. That’s ok, it takes time.

Enjoy the journey.

Embrace what scares you and make the most of these moments.

You can do this, look how far you’ve already come!

 

Have a blessed week and get after it!

Rise up, Warrior, rise up!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Staying Motivated

Staying Motivated

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How to Challenge Yourself Through Life’s Storms

 

What do you when you’ve lost your motivation?

What has you derailed?

This is often a problem for anyone going through a medical issue, including amputees.

As a 5 year amputee myself, I have a different story, one I want to share.

I spent most of my life participating in sports of one kind or another, only taking a break when we started our family.

As the boys grew so did my desire to get active again, for myself, my physical and mental well-being.

I joined karate with my kids when they were just littles, and I really enjoyed the challenge of it and feeling a part of something.

Unfortunately, onely about 2 years into it I tore my MCL which led to multiple surgeries over 5 years. I gained weight, a lot, and lost my drive.

When it got to a point that I wasn’t going to get better, and I had tried everything, a blood clot came along to drive me to the lumeing decision to amputate, and that I did, 5 years after the initial injury.

At this point, I was prepping my body and mind for what was to come and with that I began to set goals and challenges, after all I was ready to attack life once again…too many years of sitting around on my butt.

The very first challenge was learning how to walk again.

The beginning of the journey-My first prosthetic and me at my heaviest since my injury

 

 

This was no easy task and with the pain of amputation/surgery, ill-fitting sockets due to atrophy and weight change, and the actual weight of the prosthesis, I was in for a really challenging few months. But I was determined.

 

For the first 3 years the volume of my residual limb changed a LOT!

 

I had to learn to put my mindset into the positive and in hyper-overdrive. I needed to find something to push me, so I decided on virtual races.

My virtual race medal wall. My motivation to keep going!

 

I could do them on my time, in my area, and with no one else around. I was going to use these races to push myself to wear and master my prosthesis. My very first race was 150 mile spring virtual race! I calculated my daily miles to figure out how to finish on time and then set out to walk the miles.

Can I tell you, in all honesty, that the first day I set out to do my 2 miles (easy, right?) I could only muster up the energy and tolerance to walk to our mailbox!!! 1/4 mile total walk! I was doomed!

But, the next day I got started and walked another block further than the day before. I continued on this path, having good days and bad and taking advantage of the good days, and pressed forward. I was determined to win this mental and physical challenge, each and everyday!

Was it easy? Not a chance! But it was plausible and that was all I needed to rise to the challenge and succeed.

Some days I could get my 2 miles in, and then the very next day I could only go as far as around the block.

I tell you this because the path isn’t always straight forward. You can be doing really good one day and then nerve pains, or the fit, can take you out. You should know this going in so as to give yourself some grace and not get down on yourself.

I talk about Practice makes Permanence, not Practice makes Perfect. 5 years in and I still have days where I see my gait looking lazy or off, I still watch and correct, but I have learned muscle memory and I know right from wrong as I walk.

Practice makes permanence

 

Setting goals early on in your amputee journey, or any journey for that matter, is important to building healthy habits. There are no shortcuts to figuring it out, you just need to put in the work and build experience. A great basketball player doesn’t just shoot during the game, they practice that free throw hundreds of times a week, maybe even a day, to build muscle memory and get the form down. Why would learning how to walk again in a prosthetic be any different?

Spend the time in it, get use the feel, get good at the stride, practice the little things everyday, and take breaks when you need them, but keep pushing. It will come and then you’ll be able to move onto the next challenge you set before you.

 

 

Of course this week’s challenge is to challenge yourself.

Set a new goal, one that you know you can accomplish without it being too easy. Pick something you have been dying to accomplish (like getting stronger walking in your new prosthetic). Now figure out a plan that will get you from point A to point B, and give yourself a specific deadline. Mine happen to come with their own deadlines, being virtual races had “complete by” dates assigned to them. They were a challenge, for sure, but it was good for accountability reasons. I couldn’t wiggle out of those deadlines, not if I was being true to myself, and why wouldn’t I want to be true to myself? Don’t I deserve that?

You can do this.

Drop me a message and let me know what you’re challenging yourself with and then get after it!

You can do this!

You are a warrior, so attack life like a warrior!

 

I hope you found this to be motivating and you take on this Call to Action.

Have a beautiful week, and until next time,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

My funny girl

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