Love Yourself….
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Where You’re At
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Friends come and go in our lives. Sometimes it’s because of geographical change, and sometimes we outgrow each other. Other times we part ways because there is a fall out, or even a misunderstanding that goes unattended and left to grow. On the flip side, as our stages in life change so do the people who come into it, and a new friendship blossoms in an unlikely moment.
If you have been dealing with a difficult time in your life, you will notice one of two things might happen.
One, certain people will rally around you to assist and be there for you. They check in often, organize other helpers, and even come to help you pass the time. They bend over backwards to make sure you are taken care of, and love doing this for you and your family.
Two, some people will disappear when you need them most. This is heartbreaking because what you thought was a great, solid, and caring friendship is destroyed in the blink of an eye. When the going gets tough…they get going!
Now, based on these two descriptions we also need to see OUR side of the relationship. Let’s call this self-reflection time.
How are you projecting your situation out into the world? Who is getting sideswiped by your frustrations, “Debbie Downer” moments, and your wrath?
You see, it takes two. And of course, we know it’s hard to deal with something big that goes wrong in our life. I understand this. I spent 5 years in and out of surgeries, only to come to the realization that amputation was the only way out. I’m sure that I had some “moments” that weren’t so sweet and joyful. However, what was my body language saying? What words and type of tones were coming out of my mouth? Who got hit with the anger, frustration, and disappointment I was feeling in the worst moments on my journey?
Do you see what I’m saying here?
Sometimes we need to correct ourselves, for the sake of the relationship. We need to remember that everyone goes through hard times, unexpected illnesses, and redirections in their journeys. What we can’t do is succumb to the negative emotions at the risk of losing beautiful people in our lives. Negativity kills friendships. Negativity kills relationships. Negativity will keep you down and devour you from the inside out.
Friendships are two-way streets, and we just need to take a look in the mirror to see if what we are putting out in the universe is helpful in growing, and nurturing the relationships we have, or are we using our circumstance to separate us from those that we are closest.
Take stock in your relationships.
This week make a list of the friends who have entered your life and those who are on their way out.
Next, decide which ones are worth saving and which ones are toxic to your recovery and happiness.
It’s time:
Reach out and love on the friends who mean something to you. Give them a reason to call you friend. We must learn to reciprocate the attention and support.
Cut ties with those who are bad for you. The ones who’d rather see you down and out, the ones who don’t believe in you and have let you down time and time again.
Use this next week to take stock in the true friendships in your life and, if need be, what it’s going to take on your part to nurture them.
You’ve got this,
And don’t forget that it’s ok to let go of those who are bad for you. Maybe they were a positive in your life PRIOR to what you’re going through, but they have changed since then. This is tour life, and you deserve to be happy.
Best wishes on clearing up your life and the poeple in it.
And as always, until next time,
Be healthy,
Be happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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War torn and separated from family, Maja’s story is a great comeback story and includes a sweet Great Dane, Rosie, who is also an amputee.
It looks to be a story of who saved who, and you’d be correct in assuming that.
As you listen in this week, you’ll hear a story that begins with tragedy, suffering, separation, uncertainty, and fear. However as we delve deeper into Maja’s life we will see a strong woman who has found a way to bounce back and make a new life for herself, in a new country, and with a new friend.
In war torn Bosnian, Maja grew up. A teenager who snuck out one evening, with friends, she found herself outside of her home when a bomb blew up right in her neighborhood and Maja lost all 5 of her friends in that moment, along with being severely injured herself.
One moment she is bleeding out being taken to a makeshift hospital, undergoing amputation- without anesthesia, the next she finds herself getting an opportunity to be taken to the US with a kind lady wanting to make a difference in a child’s life…. and Maja took it, leaving her family behind and traveling to a country where she knew no one and didn’t know the language.
Fast forward 15 years and night terrors and PTSD set in, enter Rosie, a Great Dane pup who lost her leg and in need of a good home.
This is a comeback story for the ages. A must listen and one to help you rise up and conquer your own situation.
When things happen to us, we have a decision to make: are we the victim or the hero of our story? We get to decide that for ourselves.
When you feel like you have had a setback in your life, realize that this setback is setting you up for a comeback. When we change our thinking we can change the outcome.
Thank you, Maja, for spending time with us, telling your story and being a positive light in this world. Your ability to see the positive and let go of the past is remarkable and a beacon of hope for all who hear your story. May you continue to find peace and healing everyday.
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Today’s topic is one of those decisions we must all make if we decide to, or get thrusted into, becoming an amputee. We know that it won’t grow back, and we know our bodies change as we get older, so it only makes sense to find a prosthetist that you can rely on, trust, and connect with, after all, he (or she) will be your go to for all things prosthetic in your future.
Have you/Are you “interviewing” several different prosthetists and prosthetic companies? That’s a must!
Do you feel heard? You should!
Have you explained what you envision doing in your future to give them a better understanding of who you are and where you want to be (goal setting, see previous episodes!)? You must, if they are to help you to the best of their ability.
If you have a current prosthetist but are struggling with your fit, have you explained it to them and do you feel they are working with you to solve the problem or are they brushing it aside or, even worse, telling you it’s you, and you just have to deal with it (YES! I have actually had someone reach out to me and tell me that their prosthetist told them that!!!)?
The big question I see being asked out in the amputee community is about prosthetists. How do I know I’m getting a good one? Is ______________ a bad company to use? I don’t know if my prosthetist is good, what should I do? And the list goes on and on.
I would start by telling you, TRUST YOUR GUT! and Interview, interview, interview! Even if you are in a “relationship” with a prosthetist now, remember this is YOUR life! YOU know what you want. YOU know what goals you have for yourself. YOU know your body better than anyone else.
I’ll say it again. TRUST YOUR GUT!
You are trying to get back to a good life, no wait, a GREAT life! And you can, I’m telling you that you can, with the right support, and right tools. Just like when you are looking for a doctor to diagnose you and check your health, you know when it feels right. It’s no different here. Don’t settle for anything less than the best. And who works for you might not work for someone else, and vice versa! Don’t listen to other, make up your own mind. Go and interview them and use the advice you heard to make an educated decision.
Life can be great again! Becoming an amputee isn’t the end of life as you know it, it’s the beginning of a life you’ve never dreamed of!
Chase after it with all you’ve got. Put in the leg work (pun intended) and watch it pay off for you!!
Remember, you are worth it!
Simple:
This week make a list of prosthetist in your vicinity, or areas you don’t mind traveling to (remember that the first 2-3 years you will be there a LOT!).
Call them and make an appointment to meet with them and ask questions. Even ask to talk with other amputees-most of them have a peer-to-peer program that see this prosthetist, they’ll be a great resource on how they feel about their relationship with the prosthetist.
Even if you are already in a relationship with a prosthetist, you can do the step above. If you are unhappy with the service you are receiving then look elsewhere to see what’s happening at another office and company. Maybe the grass is greenier….and nmaybe it’s not.
This is your life. You must take charge and get what you need tolive your best life, now! I believe in you! No go out, and find the prosthetist of your dreams!😉
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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You never really know what people are going through, and the idea of “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes” is how we best “try” to understand and empathize or learn from their journey.
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Your life is YOUR journey and will look nothing like anyone else’s, so why would you compare what someone else is doing, accomplishing, etc., when you have your own life to live and your own struggles and limitations to deal with?
You do you!
Be happy with who you are because you are special and there is NO ONE else like you in the entire world!
Now go get after it!
Compete only with yourself to be better than you were the day before.
I believe in you!
Have an amazing week and until next time,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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