Peace in the Waiting
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Finding Patience Amidst Trials
Be YOU!!!
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Be YOU!!!
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What grounds you and wakes you up to the moment you’re living in?
What lights a fire and gives you strength and clarity?
I realize that all too often, that I am wishing away a moment, a day, even a month, just to get to the next thing on my list, like nothing else matters.
Have you ever been guilty of that?
After my amputation I just remember wishing for my first socket to be ready, then my next PT, I couldn’t wait to get walking, or out of pain. Living in frustration and anxiousness because THIS moment wasn’t where I wanted to be.
Every once in a while, something will happen in my life that wakes me up to the fact that I am wishing away my life, not happy where I’m at, and wanting to be anywhere else, doing something else. That’s when I stop, slow down, and reflect on how precious my life, in that moment is. I see the mountains for the first time all over again. I watch the birds coming and going, paying attention to each sound they make, smelling the desert air as if for the first time as the storm rolls in.
This is where I want to be, in the good and the bad, living on purpose, with a purpose.
So how do we stay present, and not take life for granted?
How do we handle the pains, and bumps and bruises, we are dealt on a daily basis, embracing it for better or worse?
Unfortunately, it takes an event to snap us out walking through life in a zombie state of mind and to see our lives with fresh eyes.
I experienced that this past weekend when my family came to visit, and it was their first time to ever visit Arizona. The first time to feel the dry heat, see the ginormous cacti, and smell the monsoon roll in. As I pondered how it must feel, look, and smell to them I was reminded how I felt my first time, and how I took all of that for granted.
This is the same for us as we go through the trials in life. We get fixated on our next doctor appointment, next surgery, next test, only to forget the moments in between.
Life is going to through us curve balls, it’s going to try and knock us down (and will succeed every once in a while) and sidetrack us into thinking and worrying about everything else but what is happening to us right this moment. We must stop this.
We must embrace the moment we are in, live intentionally, and enjoy where we are. This moment is fleeting, and another one will take its place, and we are not guaranteed tomorrow.
I realized that I am guilty of wishing away days, instead of enjoying them. I regret this as I now sit here, wishing for them to come back, but it is in vain. What I can do is to stay present from now on. Enjoy the good times with the bad, knowing that they will pass and be filled with others. Each of these events is a part of my journey, making me into who I am, building me into the person I am meant to be.
Maybe today you are hurting or struggling with life. Maybe you are wishing today away, hoping for a better day tomorrow. Are you seeing clearly at the life you are making for yourself, or just going through the motions? What a gift it is to be awoken from a deep sleep, from routine, to see clearly once again, to enjoy life with fresh eyes.
What are you wishing away? Remember, you’ll never get tomorrow back.
This week, try to stay present. Enjoy each moment for what it’s worth, even if it’s not pleasant. Enjoy the view, you’ll find your outlook on life can change and become more positive, when we let go of our distractions and fine tune our sight to what is in front of us.
Practice being present and looking at the world around you as if looking at everything for the first time- with eyes like a child.
You are strong and capable, but it takes practice. Set down your phone, find time to sit in silence and without distraction, your heart and mind will thank you for it.
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!
Much love,
Angie
P.S. Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses along the way!
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Just when you think you are in the clear. Or when you feel like you got it all together….Wham!!!
Yep, life sends you into a new challenge.
I am 4 1/2 years out from my amputation and into my 15th socket I go. However, even though it should have been a simple change as it was just a remake of the socket I was in (the plastic was giving away but still fit) we encountered complications.
Nothing major, but my valve wasn’t working properly for a couple of weeks, which meant I couldn’t wear it, and then once that got fixed the end of my residual limb seemed to be moving too much down inside of the socket, which was creating swelling, which in turn made it worse.
It was a snowball effect. One issue, led to another issue, which led to another issue.
Simple fix. Hmmm.
Ever have that happen to you?
How did you handle it?
What I can tell you is that after 4 years of wearing a prosthetic, I have become more attuned to my body and what feels right, and what I can and cannot handle. These are minor issues, indeed, but if you don’t have the experience (which only comes with time and observations as an amputee) then you may be prone to freaking out about the fit and worried that these issues could get worse and create bigger issues.
I remember the first time my residual limb swelled. I didn’t know what was happening, why it felt weird and hard, and freaked out that I was getting an infection. After all, I had heard of amputees getting infections years after their surgery! YIKES!!
Now that I understand what is happening with my limb, I know how to combat it and when to call my prosthetist for help and adjustments.
Experience is key, but I share this with you so you understand what can happen, even years later. That you need to build up your patience and knowledge so you can handle these odd moments, because they don’t just stop after the first year.
Don’t give up hope.
Try not to get frustrated, and make sure you make time to stop and breathe deeply.
Smile. It helps with your emotional state in the midst of problems, and don’t let fear strike you down. I understand that each new issue is delving into the unknown, but you will survive, and you will rise up again, and again, and again.
Remember, you are a Warrior!
Now go out and seize the day!
You are special, unique, and there is only one YOU in this whole, wide world!
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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From experience, I KNOW, without a doubt, that there are fish in our lake.
Just yesterday I caught a huge northern pike and released him….. he is in there, waiting for the next lure to tempt him.
How does this relate to amputees and our journey? Great question.
Patience, for one. And knowing how to keep moving forward, even when you feel like giving up, for another.
I must have casted 1000 times in 5 hours last weekend, and not a nibble!!!! 5 hours!!! I’m either totally dedicated to my craft or absolutely crazy! But, I love the POSSIBILTY. The possibility that I could catch a fish, maybe even the biggest fish in the lake (I may be a little competitive 😏) keeps me going.
This is the same for amputees. No matter what I tell newbies, until they go through it themselves, it just doesn’t click. Some people think they’ll get through it without a hiccup and be off and running right after they get their prosthesis. What you have to remember is that 1) Everyone’s experience is unique and individualistic. 2) We all atrophy and thus makes our fitting process a challenge, and 3) You don’t know what you don’t know, and it won’t make sense until YOU go through it.
That being said, going through the early moments of becoming an amputee are like fishing. You know that you will be able to walk again, run, hike, bike, swim, etc. You’ve seen tons of other amputees make it, and the prosthesis they are making now are so amazing and helpful to our success. but you also need to remember that you can’t catch the big fish if you aren’t patient, and ready to put in the time.
Go at it with a positive attitude. Take a step back when things get hard, and you.ve forgotten what WILL be possible. You have to earn it, so to speak, and you’ll be better prepared and ready for future hiccups after going through the first year or two. But it won’t be easy. You will be pushed to the edge a few times, whether with the way it feels, the fitting, pain, sensations, or a plethora of other things that could happen. But don’t lose hope. I went through the changes and the exhaustion of never-ending appointments to get the right fit. I went through excruciating pains of a neuroma and the surgery to remove it, along with the setback of healing from that surgery before I could wear my leg again. I understand the heartache when you just want to be and feel “normal” and you just don’t see how that will ever happen for you. It will! I promise. Keep the faith. Don’t take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at those moments. Cry when you need to then pull up your big boy/big girl pants and trudge forward. You will get to where you want to be, but you will work for it, I promise that too.
What I use to tell my students all the time was that if it was easy then you wouldn’t feel as proud of yourself for accomplishing the task at hand. Same goes for us amputees. You will have to overcome some seriously huge mountains at times, but when you are at the top looking back at where you came from, you can be so proud to know that you truly ARE a warrior!!!!
I believe in you!
Don’t you dare give up.
Put in the time, practice patience, and know that with time, things will get easier.
You are amazing and will accomplish great feats. You only need to be steadfast and patient. Be realistic in knowing that it takes time, but in the end you will succeed!
As always, and until next week,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
(Be PATIENT….)
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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This week we begin a new series called Prosthetic Parley with Randy and David. My prosthetist will come on once every other month to discuss hot topics that you, the viewers are interested in and talking about. This week we discuss what types of sockets there are and what fit might be right for you and why.
Please keep in mind that these are the opinions of two prosthetists, whom I use and trust, but it is in their opinion. We hope that this educates you enough so you can speak to your own prosthetists and make a positive decision on what would work best for you.
We also dive into Limbs For Humanity, a non-profit that Randy and David, have just begun, bringing prosthetics to people who are not able to get one due to location and financial situations. They work with Rocky Point Medical Clinic in Rocky Point, Mexico, as well as doing good for those here in the states. They are in need of your help so if you have any spare parts or old prosthetics that you are no longer using, please reach out to me or them so we can put them to great use, helping others become active and mobile once again. If you aren’t an amputee and don’t know of anyone with spare parts, financial donations is also a huge help so they can purchase the items they need to construct limbs and sockets.
You can reach them at one of the Instagram accounts below:
@limbmaster
@gogobanks
@thelimbcenter
@limbsforhumanity
Or reach out to me:
@BAWarrior360
@angie_heuser
Check this episode out and if you have any topics you’d like covered in the next episode please feel free to let me know!
#amputeelife #amputeegirl #prostheticparley #thelimbcenter #limbsforhumanity #sockets #abovekneeamputee #belowkneeamputee #bawarrior360 #personaljourney #factsandopinions #discussion #liveyourbestlife #podcast
Special shout-outs to Rocky Point Medical Clinic, Lencho at LS Labs, @Alps_south, @collegeparkind, and @b.tyler.hyatt
I hope you enjoy this discussion time with Randy and David and may your week be blessed!
As always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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Friends come and go in our lives. Sometimes it’s because of geographical change, and sometimes we outgrow each other. Other times we part ways because there is a fall out, or even a misunderstanding that goes unattended and left to grow. On the flip side, as our stages in life change so do the people who come into it, and a new friendship blossoms in an unlikely moment.
If you have been dealing with a difficult time in your life, you will notice one of two things might happen.
One, certain people will rally around you to assist and be there for you. They check in often, organize other helpers, and even come to help you pass the time. They bend over backwards to make sure you are taken care of, and love doing this for you and your family.
Two, some people will disappear when you need them most. This is heartbreaking because what you thought was a great, solid, and caring friendship is destroyed in the blink of an eye. When the going gets tough…they get going!
Now, based on these two descriptions we also need to see OUR side of the relationship. Let’s call this self-reflection time.
How are you projecting your situation out into the world? Who is getting sideswiped by your frustrations, “Debbie Downer” moments, and your wrath?
You see, it takes two. And of course, we know it’s hard to deal with something big that goes wrong in our life. I understand this. I spent 5 years in and out of surgeries, only to come to the realization that amputation was the only way out. I’m sure that I had some “moments” that weren’t so sweet and joyful. However, what was my body language saying? What words and type of tones were coming out of my mouth? Who got hit with the anger, frustration, and disappointment I was feeling in the worst moments on my journey?
Do you see what I’m saying here?
Sometimes we need to correct ourselves, for the sake of the relationship. We need to remember that everyone goes through hard times, unexpected illnesses, and redirections in their journeys. What we can’t do is succumb to the negative emotions at the risk of losing beautiful people in our lives. Negativity kills friendships. Negativity kills relationships. Negativity will keep you down and devour you from the inside out.
Friendships are two-way streets, and we just need to take a look in the mirror to see if what we are putting out in the universe is helpful in growing, and nurturing the relationships we have, or are we using our circumstance to separate us from those that we are closest.
Take stock in your relationships.
This week make a list of the friends who have entered your life and those who are on their way out.
Next, decide which ones are worth saving and which ones are toxic to your recovery and happiness.
It’s time:
Reach out and love on the friends who mean something to you. Give them a reason to call you friend. We must learn to reciprocate the attention and support.
Cut ties with those who are bad for you. The ones who’d rather see you down and out, the ones who don’t believe in you and have let you down time and time again.
Use this next week to take stock in the true friendships in your life and, if need be, what it’s going to take on your part to nurture them.
You’ve got this,
And don’t forget that it’s ok to let go of those who are bad for you. Maybe they were a positive in your life PRIOR to what you’re going through, but they have changed since then. This is tour life, and you deserve to be happy.
Best wishes on clearing up your life and the poeple in it.
And as always, until next time,
Be healthy,
Be happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
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