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Advocating For Yourself is Self-Respect, Not Entitlement

What if the life you want is waiting on the other side of one powerful decision, the decision to advocate for yourself?

In this episode of the Be a Warrior Podcast, I dive into something that took me years to truly understand and learn how to practice: speaking up for myself. Advocating for yourself sounds simple, but in reality, it can be incredibly difficult especially when you’re navigating the medical world, recovering from trauma, or learning to live life in a completely new way after an amputation.

If you’ve been following along with my recent episodes, you know that my word of the year is “trust.” Trusting the process. Trusting the journey. Trusting that even when things feel uncertain or uncomfortable, there is still growth happening beneath the surface.

I’ve placed the word trust all around my home-on my bathroom mirror, near my bed, and in my office, so I see it every single day. It’s a reminder that the goals I’m working toward aren’t short-term. They’re marathon goals that require patience and faith in the process.

But this week, I realized something important. Trust and advocacy go hand in hand.

As an above-knee amputee, my journey through the medical world has been long and complicated. Before my amputation, I went through years of knee surgeries and saw nearly ten different doctors over a five-year period. In those early years, I did what many of us do, I trusted everything my doctors told me. I assumed they knew best, and I rarely questioned the direction we were taking.

Now, to be clear, those doctors truly did their best. My complications were due to hyperscarring and my body’s unique response to surgery, not a lack of effort from the medical team. But what I didn’t realize early on was that trusting the professionals didn’t mean I shouldn’t also trust myself.

Learning to advocate for myself took time. It came through experience, frustration, trial and error, and eventually learning to listen to my own body.

Because here’s the truth: you know your body better than anyone else.

Doctors understand the body in general, but they don’t live in your body. They don’t feel your pain, your discomfort, your limitations, or your goals. That insight only comes from you.

This lesson becomes incredibly important when you’re an amputee.

One of the most important relationships in an amputee’s life is the one you have with your prosthetist. Your prosthetic leg isn’t just equipment, it’s the tool that allows you to move through the world.

And one thing every amputee learns sooner or later is this: if the socket isn’t right, nothing else matters.

You can have the most advanced knee or ankle technology available, but if the socket doesn’t fit properly, your mobility will suffer. Your comfort will suffer. Your ability to live your life fully will suffer.

That’s why clear communication and persistence are so important.

Advocating means taking an active role in improving your life by clearly communicating your needs, your goals, and your concerns. It means explaining where pain occurs, when it happens, and how it affects your movement. Sometimes your prosthetist has to troubleshoot based on what you tell them because they can only observe from the outside.

Every amputee is different. Even two people with the same level of amputation will have completely different experiences. Our bodies, our pain tolerance, our lifestyles, and our goals all vary.

So if something isn’t working, we can’t be afraid to say it.

 

My Team of professionals over the years.

Take time to talk with them, communicate clearly, don’t settle.

My PT’s who helped me prepare for amputation.

My Prosthetist who has my back always and knows what I want to accomplish in life.

 

My plastic surgeon who performed a TMR a year post amputation because the pain was too much!

 

Sometimes we hesitate because we feel like the professional already tried their best. We don’t want to seem difficult or demanding. But when we settle instead of speaking up, we often end up limiting our own lives.

The goal isn’t to take your prosthetic leg off halfway through the day because it hurts too much. The goal is to put it on in the morning and live your life fully until the evening.

Advocating for yourself isn’t just about medical care, though. It also applies to the relationships and environments you allow in your life.

I often tell my kids that friends come into our lives for seasons and reasons. Some friendships last forever, while others naturally fade as we grow and change.

Advocating for yourself means recognizing when a relationship is supportive and when it might be holding you back. That doesn’t mean you abandon people carelessly. Healthy relationships require balance-a give and take.

But it’s also okay to acknowledge when something no longer aligns with who you are becoming.

During this episode, I share a quote from a book called “The Rise of Me” by
Kristina Macura that really resonated with me. One line in particular stood out:

“There’s power in saying, this isn’t enough for me.”

That statement doesn’t come from entitlement. It comes from self-respect.

You are allowed to grow.

You are allowed to raise your standards.

You are allowed to take up space in your own life.

Settling doesn’t make you loyal, it often just makes you smaller than you were meant to be.

At the same time, advocacy also requires self-reflection. We have to ask ourselves if we’re giving as much as we’re asking for. Are we supporting the people who support us? Are we maintaining balance in our relationships?

Growth isn’t about burning bridges. It’s about recognizing when it’s time to move forward while still honoring the people who walked part of the journey with you.

Life as an amputee, and honestly life in general, is rarely comfortable. But growth happens when we challenge ourselves.

Whether it’s skiing down a run that scares you, trying something new, or speaking up in a room where you once stayed quiet, progress comes from stepping outside of what feels safe.

So wherever you are in your journey right now, I want you to remember this:

Knowing you deserve the best isn’t entitlement, it’s self-respect.

You are valuable.

You are capable.

And you are stronger than you think.

Advocate for yourself. Raise your standards. Build the team and the life that helps you thrive.

Because the life you’re dreaming about isn’t impossible, it simply requires the courage to believe you’re worth it.

Have an amazing week ahead,

And as always, warriors,

Be healthy!

Be happy!

And most importantly, be YOU!!!!

 

Much love,